than bring the change into ur marriage... why play with someone else??
^True......you can try new activities what have you. But maybe for some......a new face.......is even more exciting........compared to your spouse whom you see everyday and know pretty well and there aren't any surprises. Like the trill of having a crush on someone you don't know very well.......there's that mystery.
Maybe for some........that's tougher to do.......with the responsibility of children, etc. Maybe flirting with a new face is easier......comes more naturally.......perhaps requires less exertion or effort than trying to bring back the spark with your spouse.
But as mentioned by TLK............I've read before that for some.......they seek validation. They want to feel desired.
Again, I'm not trying to justify any of this. It's clearly evident from first post in this thread that I don't agree with it.
Many times things that seem so simple......and so DUH.......are so complicated.
I don't know. People.........relationships...........human nature...........are all so complex and imperfect............that I don't think I even believe in the concept of true love.
the need to validate their being or feeling wanted...
sending out ur resume? its not a job and even with that.. when sending out ur resume, u have maybe 10% desire to change jobs... is that the same in a marriage? is that why people flirt? how about when it goes horribly wrong?
like when sending out a resume, do u let ur current employer know that ur sending out resumes?? like seirously.... silly justification
It's wrong
if peopel think its ok to flirt... they should never have married in the first place. Marriage is about maturity.. this clearly is not
You are making your stomach turn/churn/burn for no reason. No where I said that its ok for married people to flirt. I am just saying that if they do, it may not be because they dont love their spouse.
^ but the fact that u think its ok to do it (even if u love ur wife), i think thats sad..
and the justification ur giving is silly
how is this Islamically correct? sorry for being religion into this.... I wanted to keep this separate from religion... but seriously, is this islamically ok to do?
^ but the fact that u think its ok to do it (even if u love ur wife), i think thats sad..
and the justification ur giving is silly
how is this Islamically correct? sorry for being religion into this.... I wanted to keep this separate from religion... but seriously, is this islamically ok to do?
TLK didn't say it was okay for married people to flirt with others besides their spouse. He mentioned in his post that seeking such "validation" whilst being married is a negative thing.
What he was trying to do was........attempt to come up with the possible psychological motives behind why some married people feel the need to flirt.
You will even find articles on the Internet attempting to explain the plausible reasons why people have extramarital affairs...........commit crimes.........are abusive, etc etc. It doesn't mean that the writer agrees with the reasons or is trying to justify them. It simply means that the writer is attempting to understand why a situation might be taking place.
Sadzz, all I am saying that it does happen, right? If it happens then there got to be a mindset behind it when married men or women do that. I am no authority on the workings of human mind but I was just trying to think of why people do that, especially those who do that without an iota of intention to leave their current spouse.
^ RV, nowhere am i accusing TLK of doing such things
All i did was question the explanation and say what i felt about it
I know you weren't accusing, Sadzzz :) Didn't think you were. I thought that maybe you were thinking he believed in such reasons as grounds for flirting.
what i wanna know is... what is even the point of flirting with someone other than ur spouse?? i mean, u can flirt with ur spouse all u want... and it can go from cutesty to sexy... isnt that more fun??
Idk... some people are just naturally flirty and charming. what may be my being friendly to you, another person may perceive as flirtatious or threatening.
okay so I dont flirt for self validation…who needs that…I mean thats like getting all the ingredients for a meal, but not cooking it, and not eating it.. really, I flirt because I am actually hoping that it will lead to something on the side and it will be booty call central for some time.
so ladies be very very careful if you even think about flirting with me, I am dangerous and stuff..and u know ghunda badmash awara aubash ayyar etc etc..
PS: this is yet another time I am sacrificing myself to save u tlk
Someone can be naturally charming and noone will think anything of it.
Being flirty is different. Im sure most people could distinguish between the two. As Mehnaz stated, the type of flirting im talking about is emails, texts and all that sort of jazz
And im not talking about single people flirting. Im talking about married people flirting with one another.
X2 im still trying to figure out whether im being mocked
im still trying to figure out whether im being mocked