what is the need to flirt.. once ur married?
Do u think its acceptible for ur spouse to flirt or if someone flirted with them? If u didnt like it, would you let ur spouse know?
If you knew ur spouse didnt approve, would you not stop doing it.. or if someone was doing it to you, would you tell them kindly u aint interested and stop associating with them?
what would u do?
Re: the need to flirt
Not acceptable.
Its like disrespecting your spouse.
In min girls going to get here and say all bullCrap like it kool and stuff. But I am yet to see a girl who is even remotely ok with girls talking/looking at me.
Re: the need to flirt
How is anyone going to be cool with somenoe flirting with their spouse... better hwo would anyone be cool with the spouse flirting?
yet i see it happening openly everywhere and i wonder what is wrong with people.
Re: the need to flirt
I dont know we seriously are missing boundaries in our culture. Pretty spineless ppl we are.
Re: the need to flirt
decency, modesty and morals is what we're missing
The funny thing is, these are the very people who boast about morals and Islam and all that.. sad
Re: the need to flirt
sadzz I dont know its not even about islam. I have been around many culture.
I mean women may dress short and stuff BUT unlike us they have boundaries defined pretty clearly.
Its sistas who fail to see difference between bollywood songs and real life.
Re: the need to flirt
^ true that.
Some people are just so unhappy at home... or with themselves, they find refuge in flirting with other people.
Then there are others who find absolutely nothing wrong with chatting up other men/women. How can it be alright to do so? how is this healthy?
Re: the need to flirt
not appropriate ... wldn't do it either ... and if i see someone doing it with my sig other i'd let her kno to stay away from the weirdo
Re: the need to flirt
Why do you think people keep on doing "need for speed" even after getting tickets? :)
Re: the need to flirt
^ i dont know... they like taking risks?
^ i dont know... they like taking risks?
bingo :)
Besides morals, it also has to do with self-control.
Yes, it's human nature to find various people attractive. You're not going to walk around with your eyes closed after marriage. And as someone mentioned in another thread.........the opposite sex will not become less appealing to you after marriage. But even if you do think that another man/woman is attractive.........have some respect for your spouse......and don't act on it. Some people might say that "flirting" is not "acting".........but I think it is. You're putting your thoughts and feelings into actions.....the action being the unnecessary banter or the continuous gawking/oggling. Sure......it's not as severe an action as cheating or a full-fledged affair........but you open the door a crack.........and it has the potential to open all the way.
Sometimes I think that we try to justify our actions by saying that we'd be "okay" "totally cool/fine" if someone else places us in the same situation. Or we justify it by saying, "it's natural.....no harm in it....human nature....everyone does it"........but then the fact that we don't have to courage to do the action OPENLY before those that we're hiding from.......is an indication that you're not 100% comfortable with your actions. Also, if you have to placate your conscience so many times regarding an action........then maybe it calls for some reflection about whether or not it is truly "okay."
We get tempted by many things.....some people have better discipline than others. But the stories that you hear these days (and technology....internet....texting has made it easier to cheat)......can make one question the point or sanctity of marriage.
Re: the need to flirt
Flirting is a way of communicating, interacting with people, a negative way if you are married, no doubt. Nevertheless its like having a secure job that you never want to leave but still throwing your resume in the market, just to see your market value or to get a sense that you are still in demand.
Re: the need to flirt
^ Yes, that's another reason why married people (and even singles) will flirt..........to know that they "still got it"............or to know that the opposite gender still finds them attractive. It can be a way to validate your worth/ego.
Yeah, no doubt, it's flattering that someone besides your SO finds you attractive........you can't control the feelings of others. But, frequently testing the marketability of your resume when you already have a job...........can mean that you have to sit down and sort out your security issues. Cuz it might feel good to get an ego boost in the process........but it can be at the expense of other people's feelings (and that needs to b considered).
Re: the need to flirt
I agree with your second para, RV. That is why I also mentioned that its a negative trait if you are married.
Re: the need to flirt
Sometimes flirting with a married person (or as a married person) can be "safe" because both parties know it wont go anywhere beyond a certain point.
Better question is...any spouses who would NOT care, or not get hurt, if someone flirts with their spouse?
Yeah, no doubt, it's flattering that someone besides your SO finds you attractive........you can't control the feelings of others. But, frequently testing the marketability of your resume when you already have a job...........can mean that you have to sit down and sort out your security issues. Cuz it might feel good to get an ego boost in the process........but it can be at the expense of other people's feelings (and that needs to b considered).
you actually made sense. nice work.
Re: the need to flirt
whats the need to flirt if u are not married?
is it ok to disrespect yourself if not married?
I dont agree with the fact that it is safe, i think that is a big :nono:
Re: the need to flirt
^ I agree.
I don't see the need to be overly chummy with someone from the opposite sex once you are married.