baby weight!!people hate!!!

[sarab]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

wow that necrotic brain tissue smell is back.

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Someone needs to look up!

With one eye.

[Jolie]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

@Sara516

Is your sister happy with her appearance? Are her kids healthy and doing well?

Like I said before, even if it's done tactfully, weight and figure are a sensitive topic for some people. Its one thing to intervene when it comes to someone's health but some people believe image is a personal thing.. If I ask a friend I will expect honest advice, except what are they going to tell me that I don't already know?

When I was younger I was extremely sensitive about comments about my weight, all from people who were "well-meaning" and with "good intentions" but the things they said and their mindset was hardly healthy or right. What they considered well meaning, I considered damaging to a person's self esteem. I know that's not the case for every single person but some people DO have bad experiences. For those who have always had a weight problem, it's never just "stop eating and start exercising", it can be more complicated than that. Well that's an interesting perspective......: D

Of course she's not happy with her appearance, she knows that she's abusing her her youth. She gets all burned up when people call her my mum's younger sister or take time grasp that actually she's our sister not khala or mami or a 17/19 year old teen calls her aunty. The sad bit is, she's only in her late 20's yet looks like a someone above her mid 30's.

Her being so self obsessed and shallow to actually respect or consider good intention behind the advice of her loved one, doesn't make her look like a some sort of beloved victim nor it'll earn her respect. In fact these are exactly the type of people you yourself must 'ignore', forget about them ignoring you. They simply don't worth it.

I know that weight comments can be highly annoying and damaging to self esteem, I've been through all that. I'd always feel pretty insulted when people would say 'oh you are so skinny, don't you eat or something' whereas I'll feel pretty complimented when my mum or friends will say 'you know you should gain some tiny bit of weight, it'll so suit you...you'll look really good, try eating xyz, try doing that etc etc'. Thanks to those people, I started paying attention to myself and my eating habits, and I feel good about myself. I don't see how I could've possibly helped myself by this pathetic 'how dare you' attitude.

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

^ yes.
As I have said women are the worst enemies of other women-sometime.

Here we see some women actually encouraging bad behavior just because they hate MIL.

[queer]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

women may be each others worst enemies, but your charm and wit sure gets them united, pal. :\

[Reha]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

@diwana

Metabolism issue? Really?

6-8 weeks is enough for a woman to get back to normal.

So why do you think somehow after this metabolism issue popped up all of a sudden?

Diwana, I think I know why people dont like you now.

I think its because you dont know how to properly communicate your ideas in a way where they actually sound reasonable. You're one of those people who "says it like it is" but does not believe in tact or manners because you're too lazy to be bothered with them. Just because you believe something to be true does not give you the license to commit what I refer to as "Verbal Diarrhea".

There is no excuse for lack of tact. If you fix the way you approach people, Im sure they will be more than happy to talk to you. Unfortunately, you have communication problems and thats the reason many women find your posts repulsive, annoying and...almost...archaic in quality.

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Diwana, I think I know why people dont like you now.

I think its because you dont know how to properly communicate your ideas in a way where they actually sound reasonable. You're one of those people who "says it like it is" but does not believe in tact or manners because you're too lazy to be bothered with them. Just because you believe something to be true does not give you the license to commit *what I refer to as "Verbal Diarrhea". *

There is no excuse for lack of tact. If you fix the way you approach people, Im sure they will be more than happy to talk to you. Unfortunately, you have communication problems and thats the reason many women find your posts repulsive, annoying and...almost...archaic in quality.

Thanks for the advice Reha, your own post is not showing 'tact' either unfortunately. Please show me any of my post where I called names or use insulting remarks. All too often it is showed by some posters. As anyone can see, I have dealt with those remarks very politely or as you say tactfully.

[Reha]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Thanks for the advice Reha, your own post is not showing 'tact' either unfortunately. Please show me any of my post where I called names or use insulting remarks. All too often it is showed by some posters. :(

I understand and felt a little bad writing this too but it had to be done. Im sure you mean well and are just trying to help but how would you know you're being tactless if we dont tell you? It just helps in getting your point across.

Much like how you tell all these women they're all fat and have no excuse to be fat...how else would they know these things?

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

@nadz123

Getting fed up with (all pakistani women) saying haii weight kam karo na..to me, i had my baby 4 months back, and weight loss for me is hard…nothing dropped off me, i was still huge, and my MIL is expecting me back in my shaadi walen kapre..and keeps saying weight lose karo yeh mat khao woh mat khao…

now problem is, I AM TRYING, but its hard…ive lost a little, not alot like i wouldve before baby…ive gone gym, ate good, but still its not working magic like it used to…ive lost barely half stone…and my body naturally retains weightanyway

now whats the smart answer to say to these people…without sounding rude…esp to MIL…im tired of being pressured to lose weight, even my husband is like r u mad, why u wanting to lose it soo quickly, aram say ho jayga…but its women who are another womans enemy…

now im not senstive either, but theres a limit to how much a new mother can take, ive got enough stresses, i dont need people telling me to lose weight fast, especially when i know i want to lose it too BUT its just not dropping off as i expected.

so what to do?
im sure other women may understand the annoyance of it all…

@nadz123

its p*** take when i get told to stop eating choclates especiually when i havent had one for 3 months…grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

@Jolie

Please don’t take this whole pressurizing just to rebel back and fall for this whole wishy washy oh just ignore it stuff!

The women I know who were successful with losing the weight were the ones that actually used the pressure as a healthy way to speed up their process of losing weight, you are not the only one going through this. I know you are trying but I guess you are also perhaps over reacting to your MIL’s remarks. My sister is happily lost in this oh I ignore people and I’m takking my time bluff, as a result even after three years of giving birth, people still hesitate to call her my mother’s daughter, because of the weight she looks ten years older than her actual age. She feels offended but we don’t because whenever we used to tell her to look after herself, she would go into this ‘ignore it’ and moany little girl mode.

@Jolie

I don’t think I was really advocating women to perfectly go back to their pre-pregnancy ‘shape’ - I don’t believe that myself. What I generally have a problem with desi women going up in arms the moment they’re suggested to shape up. They unnecessarily get offended even if the comments come from their closed ones. It takes a mature and level headed woman to appreciate the good intentions and concerns behind those comments and take them as an encouragement to step up their game. I can only say so much on Nadz’s case, but this is just my view from real life experiences. Personally I think last thing you should really say to a desi woman is to shape up, no matter who you are or how you say it, she’ll take it as grave insult and fume endlessly. Those who are serious about their weight and shape will sort them out, whether they’re told by anyone or not.

@Jolie

Please don’t take this whole pressurizing just to rebel back and fall for this whole wishy washy oh just ignore it stuff!

The women I know who were successful with losing the weight were the ones that actually used the pressure as a healthy way to speed up their process of losing weight, you are not the only one going through this. I know you are trying but I guess you are also perhaps over reacting to your MIL’s remarks. My sister is happily lost in this oh I ignore people and I’m takking my time bluff, as a result even after three years of giving birth, people still hesitate to call her my mother’s daughter, because of the weight she looks ten years older than her actual age. She feels offended but we don’t because whenever we used to tell her to look after herself, she would go into this ‘ignore it’ and moany little girl mode.

@diwana

Stop eating and blame yourself.

The argument of ‘none of your business’ and being adamant on staying fat/overweight is wrong.

If someone says you need to lose weight, BE THANKFUL to that person who points this out. ..and BE REALISTIC.

There is no excuse …including having been pregnanat… to be fat.

**Both men and women should not find any ‘excuse’ for being fat or overweight and should be humble. **

Read carefully: Those who do not care to point out how you look are NOT your friends.

@Jolie

No its none of those things. Its her larger than life ego.

@stoppit

I’m with your mil tbh.

You’re young and you’ve had your first kid, not third. It’s been 4 months, not 4 weeks. I don’t think you’re kidding anyone with the “I’m eating healthy, I’m trying” BS.

You just want mental backup for your idea that your MIL is wrong for suggesting it.

@diwana

**First I do not want to sound as if I am pointing fingers on women only for the sake of criticizing. **

It is in the benfit of women to get back in shape quickly for their own mental and physical well being.

Your calculation is off.

Here it is for anyone’s interest an info.

The weight gain during pregnancy for normal weight women (BMI between 18.5-24.9) and the reasons are as follows:

• Baby: 7 to 8 pounds (about 3 to 3.6 kilograms)
• Larger breasts: 1 to 3 pounds (about .5 to 1.4 kilograms)
• Larger uterus: 2 pounds (about 1 kilogram)
• Placenta: 1 1/2 pounds (about .7 kilogram)
• Amniotic fluid: 2 pounds (about 1 kilogram)
• Increased blood volume: 3 to 4 pounds (about 1.4 to 1.8 kilograms)
• Increased fluid volume: 3 to 4 pounds (about 1.4 to 1.8 kilograms)
• Fat stores: 6 to 8 pounds (about 2.7 to 3.6 kilograms)

Pregnancy weight gain: What's healthy? - Mayo Clinic

So it is not 15 pounds as you said, she will need to work against, it is 6-8 pounds or lets just say up to 10 pounds.

Besides, if she breast feeds, she can lose 500 calories per day. This help her lose weight further provided she does not overcompensate by eating more than required calories.

In essence, it is not unrealistic for a woman to lose weight gained in pregnancy within 6-8 weeks. That’s up to two months! Plenty of time.

All bets are off if woman goes out of control and eats junk/high calorie diet without thinking.

There are women who are health conscious and have lost even extra weight by engaging in good exercise program after normal pregnancy.

Let me know if you or anyone needs help in getting back in shape after pregnancy, there are guidelines and recommendations available.

@Reha

I understand and felt a little bad writing this too but it had to be done. Im sure you mean well and are just trying to help but how would you know you’re being tactless if we dont tell you? It just helps in getting your point across.

Much like how you tell all these women they’re all fat and have no excuse to be fat…how else would they know these things?

Very well Reha!

These are some of the posts from this thread.

I did not select those which I think were wrong advice to OP. Hope you agree too.

Start from the first two posts of OP and then tell me if OP did not actually come out too sensitive and bashing all Pakistani women?

The attitude was as if someone who advices is wrong and she is the ‘victim’.

In my first post I included men also in my advice, so what is the problem?

People need to read my posts carefully as I ‘try to’ choose words very carefully also.

This pregnancy issue by SOME women is overblown and it makes family life miserable for people who have to deal with ‘these’ women. True or not?

[Sara516]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

This pregnancy issue by SOME women is overblown and it makes family life miserable for people who have to deal with 'these' women. True or not?

I don't know what universe you live in or what goes on in that thick head of yours that makes you think you can be an expert on pregnancy when you've never been pregnant or given birth nor will you ever. So just quit it with your sleazy and misogynistic verbal diarrhea already.

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

I don't know what universe you live in or what goes on in that thick head of yours that makes you think you can be an expert on pregnancy when you've never been pregnant or given birth nor will you ever. So just quit it with your sleazy and misogynistic verbal diarrhea already.

With that, are you willing to give up all the rights to comment on how men should or should not feel or react?

See this is what I talked about.......going low on discussing the matter.

lol..And I get accused of lacking manners. What a hypocritic comment!

I am not done yet.

I still have an open question to Reha: Quote me anywhere here above in my posts which could even remotely be considered 'verbal diarrhea' :)

[FireWorks]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

I think i can understand your feelings- not that i am trying to lose any baby fats but someone close to me is very much stressed about this.

before her in laws nd husband wanted a baby.. and she was all skinny and healthy and now after giving birth to a Healthy Baby Boy, she got all the fat in her Body. and its not getting off easily.
and i always say 1 thing to her " .. pure 9 maheene lagye they yeh sab charne mein abhi itna time toh lage ga na is ko utrane mein" ... just dont give up. keep trying and dont even think about trying any stupid diets or tricks. just be healthy for your baby and your family <3 :)

[eastern11]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Everyone is forgetting one important thing, whther she was fat before or not getting thin fast enough etc etc, IT IS NO ONE"S BUSINESS BUT HER OWN!

[stoppit]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Everyone is forgetting one important thing, whther she was fat before or not getting thin fast enough etc etc, IT IS NO ONE"S BUSINESS BUT HER OWN!

Well that depends on who is saying it and why. If it's someone is who close to you and cares for your health, then why not?

If your bmi puts you in the 'obese' category, then it's a matter of health not looks.

[diwana]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Well that depends on who is saying it and why. If it's someone is who close to you and cares for your health, then why not?

If your bmi puts you in the 'obese' category, then it's a matter of health not looks.

Wah!

[eastern11]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

No! The fact that one is not fitting into one's wedding clothes is nothing but rot!! This is Pakistani mentality thinking that they and only they can know what's best for others, the country, Islam and the world! Guess what you are wrong. Its one thing if someone is 300 lbs or something (but then too only if you are close and teh choice of words is sensitive )but not otherwise !

[stoppit]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

I think you'll find that for a woman of 5'5", 180pounds is the border for obesity.

What's wrong is the prevalence of type II diabetes and other weight related diseases in Pakistani's.

[sweefs]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

women may be each others worst enemies, but your charm and wit sure gets them united, pal. :\

ROTFL.

[eastern11]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

I think you'll find that for a woman of 5'5", 180pounds is the border for obesity.

What's wrong is the prevalence of type II diabetes and other weight related diseases in Pakistani's.

Yes, but a normal person knows themselves what is good for them and what they should do. Doctors in the West use very good choice of words if they want to tell people to lose weight but not most desi ones. Ditto for people around you, everyone knows what';s best for you but if you give them unsolicited advice then they tell you off. I never comment on anyone's appreance unless they ask for my advice specifically and then too my choiceof words is not offensive. BTW 300 lbs is what is defined as clinical obesity even though you can be termed obese even if you are way less. Besides, its just plain rude. The person who can look out for yourself the best is you yourself. Even if you are the fattest person on earth, its no one's business!

[stoppit]

Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!

Clinical Obesity is defined as a BMI of over 30, which is 180pounds at 5'5".

PC overboard is what it is.