You’re right, DDR. It’s admirable that he wants to get MARRIED as opposed to many guys who are only interested in having a fling or taking advantage of the girl.
We’re not against his romantic sentiments. We’re only concerned about the lack of practicality. Both the guy and the girl will be able to better enjoy their married life if the they’re more financially stable. Starting a delicate but HUGE rishta such as marriage on a fragile foundation can be very difficult. The Bollywood stars who make the idea of “building a paradise of our own from only love” appear so easy on screen actually get paid after the cameras stop rolling, LOL. I agree with you that it’s sweet…but it would be even sweeter if the couple thinks practically as well as emotionally.
I know. i understand in practical terms it would be not be feasible to set up home at such an age due to lack of job and still undergoing education, not to mention growing up too. However, like I say it is admirable, the serious stance which they are willing to take. If it is love :) he will wait and will provide a home and not a mere house for him and his wife.
I know. i understand in practical terms it would be not be feasible to set up home at such an age due to lack of job and still undergoing education, not to mention growing up too. However, like I say it is admirable, the serious stance which they are willing to take. If it is love :) he will wait and will provide a home and not a mere house for him and his wife.
I think if theyre both really serious about it, you should get them married. I mean you say the girl wouldnt agree to go behind everyones back and get married but...love makes you do crazy things. I know a family who had to get their son married at 18 because he was planning on eloping otherwise. He was 18 and the bride was 17, he was about to start uni and she was still in college. But somehow they made it work, they live in a joint family system, both work part time so manage to scrape enough money together to still do all the things married couples do and dont have to worry about the house or bills as his parents cover them. Theyre really happy mashallah so sometimes things like this can work out. Hell its better than them eloping and disgracing their famililies.
What do you say to a guy that is 19 and thinks that he's in LOVE and ready for a commitment to a gal at this age.
He's still in school - she's still in school and no way ready to be married financially. (personally I think emotionally they are too young as well)
How to convince them both that waiting is probably a better idea?
It depends on their own characters I think and what they want in life. Personally, I also think it's too young. And if he is still in school, how will he suport his wife and what will he do if they have a child while he is still studying? Who is going to provide the income? Ask them to think about that. They could be engaged now and get married later, after he graduates and finds a job.
Hahaha.. my 18 year old nephew wants to get married to his 19 year old girlfriend of 1 year (she’s my niece too from another cousin). They are both in school, want to be doctors as well and want to get married next summer
What do you say to a guy that is 19 and thinks that he's in LOVE and ready for a commitment to a gal at this age.
He's still in school - she's still in school and no way ready to be married financially. (personally I think emotionally they are too young as well)
How to convince them both that waiting is probably a better idea?
well what i think is that boys and girls must have to be married upto the age of maximum 22 becoz at 18 boys get young and girls get young at 16. and it is only the education system which has been ruining the ppl so badly that even in the age of 25 or 26 a student completes his education and when a student will complete his education at such an age then when will he get married coz he needs job also and also it takes time and years to settle in job and so on and he also has to fullfill his homes responsibilities as well the marriages of his bros and sis so if such a system will be then ppl do marry after 30 year age which also is a great cause of violence against women becoz afterall there is a specific age of marriages and if one just completes the education in that age then he will in the end get wives with children.
:)
so our system is wrong and yes under 18 marriages must not be done but it must also not get late after 22.
What do you say to a guy that is 19 and thinks that he's in LOVE and ready for a commitment to a gal at this age.
He's still in school - she's still in school and no way ready to be married financially. (personally I think emotionally they are too young as well)
How to convince them both that waiting is probably a better idea?
and at the same time both boys and girls wish and demand of their spouse to be a younger one as well as highly qualified, well set and handsome so all these things cannot happen at one time if you will have a go for higher education then definitly you will have a man of near 30 or over 30 age. so there is a very worse education system in Pakistan which is responsible for all this matter
Why whats wrong ...cannot we fall in love if we are just 19.
I know some very graceful couples ,who were in love since childhood,n then they got married.
Not a good idea. At 19 he still hasn't developed into his own person, probably isnt sure of what he wants in life etc etc. They both have a lot of growing up to do, and who knows they might grow up and grow up to be completely different individuals and grow apart. I know a pakistani couple, they started dating when the girl was 14, guy 17. They were planning on running away when the girl was almost 18 and the guy was 21. Eventually they decided against it, stayed together till the girl was 21 and the guy 24 without any engagement or anything. Both families knew about it but strongly opposed the union. Spent 7 years together. Anyone who knew them when they were 18-19 saw how crazy in love they were about each other and we all believed they would get married. Now they just grew to be completely different people. She's careeroriented he did a complete U-turn and became some obsessive crazy backward parha likha jahil and they separated. They still love each other but they grew apart... their personalities clash now rather than complement each other, so they broke up. Its crazy how a few years of life experience could teach you and change you so drastically from the person you were just a couple years ago.
So my advice is wait until they're grown and have their priorities and goals straight and have developed into their own individual rather than changing and trying to be something the SO wants.
