I’ve heard several stories of where a couple that is having trouble concieving, due to the female partner , wanting to have a third person in the marriage to have kids. Usually the line goes:
*** " He loves his wife and because they can’t have children she has permitted him to marry again "***
Now I know in Islam a Man is allowed to and that these are one of the reasons that he can have another wife .
However my question is would you marry someone like that , knowing that your role in that relationship may in the end be just that of a brood - mare ?
Considering there are other avenues open to the couple like adoption !
True Gina , though I don't think surrogacy is allowed by Islam . Surrogacy is a practice of the West so it is not an option in our society !
The thing is you do see such marriages quite often , what makes me wonder is what goes through that woman's mind and her family's that makes her or them accept such a situation ?
I've heard several stories of where a couple that is having trouble concieving, due to the female partner , wanting to have a third person in the marriage to have kids. Usually the line goes:
*** " He loves his wife and because they can't have children she has permitted him to marry again "***
Now I know in Islam a Man is allowed to and that these are one of the reasons that he can have another wife .
However my question is would you marry someone like that , knowing that your role in that relationship may in the end be just that of a brood - mare ?
Considering there are other avenues open to the couple like adoption !
well it is very difficult for me to say as i am married. where as if i was un-married and like a 40-year old, maybe i would do it for the sake of getting accepted and having a husband. however, i know i wouldnt be a brood, as i know the husband and i would share intimate moments which would make him love me. very tricky question and happens all the time.
my uncle remarried because his 1st wife didnt give him children. his 2nd wife gave him four. he loves both his wives and treats them so well. dont know how the 1st wife put up with it as she is very old, and 2nd wife is young and beautiful. but 1st wife must be such a great woman with so much patient! dont know how wives share their husbands!
okay my other uncle has been married for 20 years and they have no kids. once his wife asked him to remarry and he didnt talk to her for days because he was so angry! he said he would never take another wife as he can only love his own wife. he said so what if they have no kids, yes he desires them but its not in their kismet. yaar, what a man! what an amazing husband! they do say, love only one in your life and you will be happy.
uff, yaar to be in your bedroom alone while your husband is doing it with his 2nd wife is torture enough! uff, what tension just thinking about it. how would you sleep at night?
well thats seems rather possesive. i thut pakistani women are ok with husbands and extra ladies.
not to go into detail...but the first wife wud still ge their share of intimacy right? then vat jealuosy
I personally would never marry again if my wife don't concieve; either we will adopt or will just live up with it. If i ever get married; i would love my wife to bits and if she doesnt concieve (God Forbids) that does not mean i will marry to another woman. In my eyes it's wrong.
Adopting is a simple option; there are millions of orphans out there...why not adopt 1/2 of them and Sawab? That might take us to Jannat!
I personally would never marry again if my wife don't concieve; either we will adopt or will just live up with it. If i ever get married; i would love my wife to bits and if she doesnt concieve (God Forbids) that does not mean i will marry to another woman. In my eyes it's wrong.
ah you sound like every woman's ideal man! may you inshallah find a beautiful wife and have kids inshallah
well thats seems rather possesive. i thut pakistani women are ok with husbands and extra ladies.
not to go into detail...but the first wife wud still ge their share of intimacy right? then vat jealuosy
what a lucky husbnad hey
oh you think there will be no jealous? uff, vhat complete nonsence! there is always a favorite wife!
I dont know...right now I can sit here and say "hell no..over my dead body" but the fact remains that I have no idea what i would do til im in that situation.
as far as adoption is concerned... every man deserves to have his own biological child...it's what keeps their blood line going. however, they may not want to have children with anyone else for various reasons and they may want to keep their wife's feelings in mind to keep peace and harmony within their marriage. therefore opting for adoption.
its a personal decision and I see nothing wrong with either one.
Hey personally speaking though. I also prefer not to re-marry again.
If i love my wife so much. I would do what she tells me to do. shez the boss.
+ the extra burden and reponsibility of an extra wife + ensuring you dont do injustice to either.
Its hard. But at the same time own blood line is certainly more preferable--to avoid later life scenario hurtful scenarios when u have made to recall that they were nevr your blood.
i.e: S.K kabi kshui kabi gham
But wife is priority ofcourse. I would take whatver course of action that she is happy with and recommends.
Edhi-foundation is a good option though---You have you own selection toooo!---which u dont have the natural way.
every man deserves to have his own biological child...it's what keeps their blood line going.
what is this conclusion based upon?
does every woman deserve to have her own biological child too? in which case, would it be okay for her to get impregnated by someone else other than her impotent husband?
does every woman deserve to have her own biological child too? in which case, would it be okay for her to get impregnated by someone else other than her impotent husband?
everyone deserves to have their own child...doesnt mean it will happen.
also I was talking solely from an islamic perspective...a husband has another option (ie marrying another woman) ...women dont have the option of getting pregnant from another.
Whether people want to hear this or not...its a fact. reality bites doesnt it!
edit: forgot to mention broodmare isnt an option in Islam
what if a lady needs another man...do they ever??.....
well islam dnt allow ladies more husbands so say if the man was infertile.....
wud u not want to keep ur own blood line ladies...do u think you should be allowed some exception.
well it seems fair as queer put it...id like to hear on this one
what if a lady needs another man...do they ever??.....
well islam dnt allow ladies more husbands so say if the man was infertile.....
wud u not want to keep ur own blood line ladies...do u think you should be allowed some exception.
well it seems fair as queer put it...id like to hear on this one
i agree...queer did make a valid point but its a question for non-muslims since women dont have the option of conceiving via sperm donor in Islam.
the only option we have is divorce and getting remarried.
but yes it is a valid question for those that dont care about islamic views.
dont ladies ever feel the one-sided 4 wife rule is kinda unfair or harsh...
i mean then if you were an ideal muslima u wudnt prefer to adopt a child, nor divorce, nor an additional mariage nor the artificail fertilization thing...then dont you think its kind of unfair having to remain childless.
dobt ladies feel thier shud be some exception granted in such cases.
