Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

that would be a topic for another thead....we have numerous discussions on this :D

p.s I dont think its unfair...I would simply deal with the cards I was dealt. there are other options...take em and run with it.

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

ye but dont u feel its unfair.....a man cud and very easily and wud marry a second wife to solve the problem leaving you with lifelong helpless jealousy.

wud u or wud u not like the same facility/facilities

dont ladies ever feel the 'polygamous' desire or atleast when it cud be nesesary

dnt u feel like the 'bakra'

Both of you are so right , very confusing dilemma.

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

There is no guarantee that she will be able to have kids?

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

The question is would you consent to being a brood mare.

Let me change the question, Would you consent to your husband having a brood mare?

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

I always wonder y the if theres a problem with the women concieving then the answer is that the guy shud get married again.

But wen the tables change and the guy is not able to concieve then women will go without a child, or only then adopt....

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

Never in a million, trillion, bagillion years! This is beyond unacceptable.

I have a problem with the way you write that an ideal Muslima wouldn't divorce or adopt a child, because she can do both within the Islamic boundaries, and I think the answer to your question is in here. She can adopt the child and raise them according to Islam, OR if she really wants her own kids she can get divorced and re-marry. Also, artificial fertilization with hubby's sperm, ofcourse, is also islamically permitted so that's another thing she can do. I know for a fact that it works very well, esp. when there's a problem with women conceiving.

And in my opinion, in the presence of all these options it's sort of not-right to go to a second wife option, unless the hubby wants it.

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

Sure Islam allows a man to remarry and have more than one wife.. but it doesnt mean that the first wife doesnt have feelings..

so i completely acknowledge what Islam preaches.. its just, i dont think id have the heart to stick to it. If the hubz really wanted his own biological child and i couldnt give him one, and he wanted to remarry... id ask for his pardon and leave. Better leave, than sit around, get upset and make his life hell.. not fair on him or the new wife.

But, that's just me.

if HE couldnt have kids... then id definately look into adoption

Now id like to say something.

Reality-Check, if it is absoultely 100% accurate according to the sunni fiqh what you have posted regarding islamic prohibition in adoption.

This is probably the first post of yours im truly impressed by. And you post shud not be ignored.

People i know adopting seems like to us and most of the times probably is a wonderful side option. And i would love to pursue this option if i could not have my own kids as compared to another wife+ wife hurt + responsibility etc.

But we should understand if the prophet (pbuh) has banned somthing, or made it extremly makrooh, it is for a WISE reason, which ultimatly only for the sole benefit of the person involved in the activity and hence society.

It is praisworthy looking caring for and supporting and orphan..But that is exactly what they are…and ophan…and orphan is different from an adopted child…please acknowledge the differance.

The differance being: an orphan you keep in your house…will be kept under some degree of distance between the rest of the family especially the daughters as opposed to and adopted child who you would keep and be comfortable as a brother or son.

one could say that and orphan is still being kept as a gher-maram and treated as such which he is…similarly the adopted child is also gher-maram but treated like a maram..

I am not a scholar but the wisdom and analogy to this might be able to be associated near to the one, where nabi-pak was asked once about preferance of the ‘brother-in-law’ living in the house of the husband and wife…and he replied:

**-‘the brother-in-law is death’—**sahih bukhari

Therefore this hadith indicates that someone as close and loved as much as almost a brother to the wife should not live with the wife as he is still a **Gher-maram, **and nobody is discrediting the rep of the clean-hearted bro-in-laws but we know shaitan is the one always on the loose.

But as TLK brother suggested there is something in islam where a gher-maram can be made maram by feeding the milk of the maram.
But despite that i dont think it is as strightforward as it appears, and i cannot make any firm statements.

There seems to be some confusion over this but important matter I do wish the very insighted mod.s from the islam forum could help us out somtimes.

Personally I really also like the adoption option, and hope there is room for it in islam somway, and i would be utterly disspointed if it is not…but whatver it is we should make each other aware of truth atleast.

Waise I would advise people it is not always wise to search around google for islamic advice. There is a lot of matter from all types of people/self proclaimed mullahs.imams/sects/groups.opnions/ deliberate malinformation by enemies of islam/ that such which should not be given paramount importance, untill being checked by a Scholar.
For crucial matters i re-iterate once again you should approach a SCHOLAR OF YOUR SCHOOL OF THOUGHT…and then preferabaly confirm thier opinions from other scholars or scholars sources.

There is a very good and popular scholars online islamaic question and ask website, called askimam.com (somthing like that).
Which has been very succesful and been running since time.
It is a recognise and confirmed Sunni website, which has a massive stored data from past questions and answers,many of which are related to the marriage issues.

Sadz…u how…practical is it in todays life that a wife leaves her hsuband because he cannot have kids…i was coming from the side that how do you women feel about it when your man cannot produced and as ladies are less able to easily get out of the situation to have thier own blood-line…c’mon practically no lady is able to divorce her husband, cos of her loyalty to him and diffiuclty in society of getting another, and if the manis infertile–where does artifical insemnation come into it?..
so i was asking do you ladies…feel....somewhat treated more hashly/unfairly treated when in terms of options leftcompared to the former case of ladies being infertile.

Your post is amazing.

Now in regards to this whole "since my wife can't have kids, let me marry another wofe..."......

What guarantee does the man have that his new/2nd wife WILL indeed have kids? Will he marry a 3rd & 4th....

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

'Queer' one.

where did i say or implie in my post that I am a Mullah.

And adoption, homosexuality are topics are that which dont concern me?

Which world do u live in brother...(oh yeh sorry i forgot your inbetween)

Todays societies problems are mostly caused by us muslims erring from the sunnath of the prophet (pbuh).
If i want to help my fellow and capable paki-brothers by spreading some of my knowledge what is your problem.

Stopping/Helping a fellow muslim to turn away from an establsihed wrong thing, what is wrong in that.
When you know somthing is 100% wrong what somebody is going to get themself into and you can show it to them, I think you should.

What are people on gupshup for? To get right advice?

Im chichora on other thread cos I like having some fun too.

Could not agree with it more.

ofcourse, if an opportunity brings itself that man will keep on moving up in numbers. As wives die/divorce the numbers just increase:Dkind of like that guy Muhammad Yousif, but clearly he has no problem producing children..lol!

i'm sure we can come up with a mathematical equation for such men!:)

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

You never know what your reaction and/or response would be until you walk a mile in those particular shoes.

When a woman loves a man very very deeply, its only natural that she wants to procreate with him...its the best gift you can give to your husband. And perhaps you may want him to have this most special of gifts, the most special of blessings even if you cannot give it to him yourself. Thats from the perspective of the first wife. Tougher situation for being the second wife though. But perhaps the second wife is more specially blessed for being the provider of such a special blessing to the shared husband.

...just another point of view here :)

In the end it is that couple's business, or if he has to marry a third and a fourth, its the couple, trio, quart's business. If it is legal and allowed, then no one should have issues with their personal choices.

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

And that is why we must all have wills. We must. We must.

[QUOTE]

So, was it really the right thing to do? Yes there are inheritance laws, but there is compassion, there is much written about taking care of an orphan and to not deny them justice and take over what is theirs.

[/QUOTE]

Re: Would You Consent to being a Brood-Mare ?

anyways, the topic was 'broodmare' ..

technically a man has the right to have 4 wives at any given time that means he can rotate the old one out when he wants to bring a new one in.

allowed, completely, but is it the right thing to do?

I suppose if the parties involved dont care, then who is anyone else to argue.

Not to get into recognized practices like misyar and muttah in different schools of thought. Misyar is basically your ability to make a miss a yar. read up on that sometime.

what if a man himself cant reproduce?
would you suggest wife should get the divorce and marry someone else?

ps. seriously guys, marriage is a noble deed and you should get marry keeping an aspect in mind that you are getting marrying inthe name of ALLAH SWT. where as getting blessed with a child or no is another blessing. so stop personalize the factor that giving birth to child is really in our hands.

so no i dont agree with the actions of women permitting her husband to get marry only for a child (or for son, yes i read about the cases where women let her husband marry for son)

if not having a child creates a problem within the marriage b/w the husband and wife...then yes.