Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

Lifestyle Relationships
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He is not the issue here. The topic isnt about how much responsibility is on a man's shoulders in a situation like this. Its about the woman. And yes, like the rest of the world we are responsible for protecting ourselves from psychos and rapists.

Being drunk puts you in a situation where you can lose your senses and end up in a situation you might be sorry about later on. Drink responsibly.

Jay, I actually agree with you here.

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I am speechless after reading some of the comments here..
are you guys for real? :(

Cosplay Culture
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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

whether the woman is sober or drunk..if she says no! and is yet assaulted..beaten..because she is helpless....she goes thru the trauma..and it wrecks her life...while the man who assaulted her thinks who cares she is drunk...or not??

IT DOESNT MATTER what state she is in..
regardless the circumstances...she has the right to walk home..she has the right to have a drink or two (in this culture) but what man thinks its ok to prey on a woman's vulnerability?

according to stats and psychologists, rape doesnt happen to drunk women only, you dont go to a party and expect to be raped after a few drinks! how can one say that she is the victim of her own judgment, when the judgment consisted of something as normal as eating at a party. How is her judgment any different from the others present? it not her fault that the psycho sleazeball is unable to control himself and cannot take no for an answer...

are you all serious about this 'holier than thou' or 'you should know better' attitude when it comes to the issue of rape? anyone can be a rape victim, drunk or not...alone or at a party..even in your own home..so many women have been raped in parks, or after being followed home...

this means, if you are drunk and someone stabs you its your fault..your poor judgment of having drinks at the office party caused you to die...and your killer can have parole in 5 years..since obviously you shared the fault..

NO woman "is asking for" being raped!! this is psycho talk for making himself look less of a criminal.
such infantile logic! this is all male-driven twisted drama to make the woman feel guilty of the crime HE committed!

Do doctors visit other doctors when they fall ill ?
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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

If you get drunk and decide to wander the streets at 4am in a sketchy neighborhood and depend on humanity to protect you and not your common sense...you will be one sorry woman. If you think "no man has the right to hurt me, regardless of what situation Im in" and take risks like that...something will happen. Guaranteed.

HE is an abomination and should be hung for taking advantage of a woman in any state she is in.

HOWEVER, that does not mean a woman can do whatever she wants and does not have a responsibility towards herself. This is logic and practically built into people...why is it so hard to grasp here?

The Random Thread
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This article isn't about walking on the streets at 5:00 a.m. drunk out of your mind. This isn't about accepting drinks from a stranger. This isn't about going out clubbing.

Let's have a look at what the article actually says and try and remove your Islamic values and be objective when reading this considering most of the people here won't even able to identify with the scenarios that have been discussed in the article:

"Almost three quarters of the women who believed this said if a victim got into bed with the assailant before an attack they should accept some responsibility":

Sex turns into rape when it becomes non-consensual. What could possibly happen to a woman that she got into bed with the man and then all of a sudden didn't want to do it anymore? Just a wild guess, perhaps he started being too aggressive or violent? Perhaps he slapped her or punched her in the face? Perhaps he was hurting her? The minute someone starts behaving like that, you will not want to proceed. The minute you don't want to proceed, it becomes rape. This even happens in marriages. Yes, as ugly as it sounds, this even happens in some marriages. As uncomfortable as it makes people feel, the reality is, people in the West do have pre-marital sex. It is not uncommon. In fact, staying a virgin is rare ... Also, don't assume the woman is with a one-night stand. It can happen with someone the woman is dating. It can be a woman's boyfriend. It can be her husband. It can be anybody she has known for a while and has been involved with.

"One-third blamed victims who had dressed provocatively or gone back to the attacker's house for a drink."

Again, dressing provocatively or going to someone's house isn't an open invitation for rape. Maybe these women went back to the house cause they liked the man? Again, maybe it was someone they were dating? Maybe these women were expecting some romance but mostlikely they were not expecting to be raped.

Things that are considered normal for goray ppl to do in gora culture ... well, it isn't normal to get raped as a result.

The attitudes displayed in this thread reminds me of this documentary I once saw. A man who was infected with HIV knowingly went out and slept with dozens of women without informing them. Guess what? People said they girls deserved to get AIDS and i'm pretty sure ppl here will read this and agree.

Aisha Dubaiwali is absolutely right when she says that anybody who has been assaulted will have to carry that guilt around with them for the rest of their lives. They already blame themselves and it's "nice" to know that "society" also blames them too. No wonder so many of these women end up killing themselves.

Malala comes home
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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

First of all who said anything about walking in a sketchy neighborhood? What if she is drunk and gets out of a bar to walk towards a cab? What if she gets dropped by the bus (coz she doesn't have a car) and is walking towards her apartment. Does that give the man a right to rape her? And for all you people who have the nerve to hold the victim partly responsible for this, do you think when a sick psychopath approaches a woman to rape her, he cares whether she is drunk or not?? You think if she wasn't drunk, she would have ninja powers and beat the crap out of the man? NO. Men are always physically stronger than the women.

And by the way women hardly get raped in a 'sketchy' neighborhood! They mostly get raped in pretty decent neighborhoods while going home! Now why the hell does it matter if she is totally drunk when she is walking home or if she is totally sober???

If a guy is drunk and walking home and he gets stabbed like Chanda said, is he to be partially blamed?? Being careful and cautious about your surroundings and actually being BLAMED for having your body violated are TWO DIFFERENT THINGS! And it's very apparent after seeing a lot of people post here, that some people will just never get it.

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Exactly!! These people just don't get it coz they are letting their cultural and religious backgrounds skew their perception.

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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

and you know what? women the markets in Pakistan get fondled too. Do they deserve it for not wearing an Abaya? :rolleyes:

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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

Yeah!! omg Pakistan is terrible regarding sexual harassment!! So are these poor women in Pakistan to be blamed because a man walks by and touches them intentionally. Should she have known to not get out of the house to get some groceries because there are perverted men walking around in these grocery stores!

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Amen.

The only person responsible here is the person committing the crime, because only that person can stop themselves, nobody else can. It's not "if she didn't wear that miniskirt she wouldn't have gotten hurt"

Its: If that person hadn't raped her, she wouldn't have been raped. Period.

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Just wanted to add that there are variants of the drug that can be added to standard stuff like J2O, or mixures etc causing the same effect (slowly making the person feel less and less in control). If a thread is opened open which discusses rape of both genders it would make a very interesting read.

I won't comment too much on here as I think the thread is more about rape in general (as a topic) rather than the said article.

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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

Also,, what is "dressing provocatively"???

I would like to know the definition. A rapist could find a pair of fitted jeans provocative. It might not even be the jeans, it could be sexy stiletto heels. Someone else might find a "FCUK" t-shirt provactive. Another person will find a mini-skirt provcative. A woman can be fully dressed in a turtle neck, but the attacker can find her mannerisms provocative. It might not even have to do with the way she's dressed.

Do you know how many girls these days wear skinny jeans where you can see every single curve and inch of fat on them? Is that too provactive? What about low-rise jeans? Or the new Ultra low rise jeans where you can see a butt crack from all the way across the street? Do you know how many young girls, in Junior High (meaning Grades 6-8) wearing low rise jeans? Are they responsible if someone decides to come and rape them?

Where do you draw the line? How exactly do you know what will lure a psychopath into assaulting you?

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Exactly!!

Coalition forces kay anminat naqoosh
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HAHAHAHAHAH This made me actually chuckle, Aishaa, you're a pill!

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Its a common sense that you need to protect yourself. its not someone's responsibilty to do that for you. If you are wandering around drunk or in a not decent dress then you are obviously openly inviting the men towards you. as in urdu they say Aa bail mujhay maar.
aisay mein if God forbid anything wrong happens then you can blame the victim too to some extent. You are supposed to act sane and mature. Life is not about being an idiot thruout ur lives.

You leave your car unlocked doesnt give anyone right to come and steal it but who on earth has given you the gurantee that u ll find it parked on same place where you had left it? If its there, good luck if not , wont you realise ur carelessness? They say Trust in God but lock your car.

Ladies get fondled in Pakistan and every where. The abbaya ones and the witout abbays ones both. But that no where means that you go out in busy markets in half sleeves, deep necks and dopatta around neck and laughing out loud like crazies. You cannot stop men, their eyes and intentions, but do your part by being modestly dressed up and act decent.

there are those rape cases where the victim is completely innocent and no one is denying such scenarios. As so many said here that the object is not to support rappist or blame the victim but truth is truth. There can be situations which could have been easily avoided if the victim had been a little more careful. Learn to take some blame on you, its good if you want to learn somehting from losses. It will make you more careful person for future.

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For those who are saying that girl has partial blame to take in being raped......I am expecting them to also say this as an argument........that girls should be partially blamed for being girls...as if they were not girls then they would not have been raped.......

Cheers to those who still live in stone age

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Re: Women say if you were raped, it is your own fault

I don't care what the victim did or didn't do. Rape is rape and the person who should and will be held responsible for this crime (in this life and the next) is the person who perpetrated the crime. Nobody intentionally invites such a horrendous violation of their person, no matter how carelessly they behaved. Had they behaved less carelessly, would the rape not have happened? Maybe. Is it better to exercise some common sense and avoid situations that won't put you in danger? Definitely. But nobody should be blaming the victim. She or he is suffering enough and probably beating her/himself up enough, along with being a nervous wreck for probably the rest of her/his life. We don't need to add to it by pointing fingers. Just my two cents.

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^ Guys, these people won't understand. It's not even worth debating this....it's just sad that we have people in our society who still think like this...

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^I kinda disagree cherry. I think we are all pretty much in agreement...admittedly, I haven't read every word of every post in here, but I think we're all saying the same thing in different ways, which is:

Rapists = scum
Victims = simply victims who didn't deserve what they got
Caution = a good thing in all situations

I think the point of contention is blame v. responsibility. The rapist is to blame for the crime but we must all take responsibility for our actions in order to protect ourselves. But regardless of what we do or don't do, the FAULT lies with the person who committed the crime and not the victim.

Did I just confuse the issue even more?

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^ And that's exactly what I was saying. Blame and being cautious are two different things. Of course the victim could have been cautious but to actually claim that is she to be partially blamed for her rape is just absurd!

That's where the two sides differ. We just don't think that the label of blame should be imposed on the victim no matter what she is wearing or how drunk she is.