Why Do men do this??????

PyariCgudia · December 6, 2009, 3:56pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

Aishaa, he should be an American. None of this desi riff-raff mentality. So sick of it. :(

tammy8604 · December 6, 2009, 3:56pm

Again, very easy for someone whos sitting outside of pakistan to say that. Unless you live here yourself, you have NO idea how hard life can be for so many people here. Your parent moved there, not many ppl did and they would like to do the same.

tammy8604 · December 6, 2009, 4:03pm

It's someone CHOICE who they want to marry. How can you say someone is wrong in marrying a girl from pakistan?
Many people find BETTER girls here. Again its everyones personal experience. I know some people who couldn't find any girls in america because the girls he came across were either too picky, or materialistic (one of them wanted the same exact Tiffany's diamond ring her freind got which was for $20,000
or just not willing to get married for a long time . Thats fine but thats not what some guys prefer.
It's a matter of PREFERENCE.

tammy8604 · December 6, 2009, 4:04pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

^that being said, im sure there are plenty of nice girls in america too.
people really need to stop generalizing paki girls or american desi girls.

Sara_pathan · December 6, 2009, 4:18pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

all my female cousins in the west and myself, have married men from back home.

PyariCgudia · December 6, 2009, 4:19pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

How is that working for you? Why didn't you girls pick men raised wherever you live?

Sara516 · December 6, 2009, 4:22pm

Corelle is a pretty good (and cheap) set of dishware. Its a pretty good value for its price.

don't diss Corelle.

PyariCgudia · December 6, 2009, 4:23pm

Re: Why Do men do this???

I know, I have a set.

kakaballi · December 6, 2009, 4:39pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

PCG, how come girls raised abroad are all so great in your opinion and the guys are not?

Considering what you listed as requirements for a eligible guy, you shouldn't have a lot of trouble finding one even if 10% of Pakistan origin guys exhibit what you tell us about girls.... education, community service, sense of responsibility, career orientation, sensible, etc.

Aren't you generalizing a bit too much? Or, have you been looking at all the wrong places?

kakaballi · December 6, 2009, 4:44pm

farrah · December 6, 2009, 5:45pm

PyariCgudia:

I definitely think you’ll find a higher proportion of girls in the US, at least, who do things outside their homes. Most of the girls I know are active in the community, leaders in their workplace, and do a lot of good for people. But then, community service and leadership and hobbies are very much encouraged in grade school here, so we build that sort of a culture. These are things critical to have no your CV. So, I think if you find a girl from America who was raised here, she’ll probably be more experienced with worldy issues than a girl from Pakistan, more accomplished, and therefore more adaptable and flexible and will probably have better people skills. The girls here who are well educated and accomplished KNOW what to say and WHEN to say it.

So less fights with in-laws.

The drama I see in the community here is with girls who are less educated, more “desi” in their mentality, and are often girls who were picked up from back in Pakistan. I know plenty of bahus who are giving problems to their in-laws here, and its their own fault - they got a bride from a culture that they don’t even relate to much anymore. So what were they thinking??

i really think you’ve come across all the wrong sort of people.
Now you are comparing girls on the basis of education and upbringing they got, which is absolutely unfair. do you even realize what day to day problems a girl in Pakistan has to face? beginning from trying to get a proper education, to trying to find a decent job, to trying and maintain respect while all things are trying to be achieved???
you are a daughter of some immigrant parents or grandparents too … do you think same of them in their effort to go abroad? and do you think they were also similar in their behavior like you are refering to all other Pakistanis with??
because you got it all so easy because the american education system is oh-so-brilliant for your resume … that doesnt mean you can roll all the pakistani girls in the same bag. your generalizations are going too far. i dont even want to begin with the weirdosities of the foreign-based pakistanis that i’ve had to face!

tammy8604 · December 6, 2009, 6:12pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

^good post farrah. well said

PyariCgudia · December 6, 2009, 6:34pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

Refer back to post number 70.

farrah · December 6, 2009, 6:51pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

post 70 still isnt reasonable or understandable ... and no it isnt as simple as doing community service!

FYI .. there is still a tremendous amount of families who do not want their girls to step outside the house after:

finishing a simple FA
finishing any level of education

i can give you 2 examples ..

daughters of my mamu werent allowed to do their masters. one just did her FA, the other her BA. although the one who did BA, was the younger one, and her marriage happened after a lot of delay due to family/financial problems, she was never allowed to step outside the house by herself. working is completely outside of question.
another set of cousins were high-ranking medical students. had great education. again. they werent allowed to work. father said they can work when they are married, and if their husbands allow them.

jahan per normal job ki ijazat nahi hai, uski value nahi hai ... to community service k liye to zarur he nikalnay deingay maan baap.
please remember that a pakistani community has a hell of a difference from that of any other european or american one. you cannot put them parallel and expect them to function in the same way.

and sit back and enjoy a good man isnt typically Pakistani mind you ... happens everywhere! and if that is the kind of thought pattern they've been indoctrinated with ... then damn the chauvinist society ... what's the girl's fault? jao pehlay bandoun ko thik karo phir ...

there are issues back home ... but you cannot criticize them sitting abroad ... things are deeper than they may appear to you ...

PyariCgudia · December 6, 2009, 6:55pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

So because you guys have a bigoted culture and you educate your girls to spruce up their rishtaa CV's and oh-dear-the-poor-girl-cannot-be-allowed-to-step-out-of-the-house, you're going to be fishing in MY POND and going after MY MEN?

Uh-uh.

Plenty of retards in pakistan to marry. Leave our boys alone.

We work our ARSES off here, and I know LOTS of well-educated girls going into their 30's that no one wants to marry, because perfectly good guys are being transported back to get some desi girl who gets here and then makes trouble for everyone and even further isolates those 30 year old working women who are just trying to find a mate and settle down.

No sir. Because your parents don't let you out of your homes is NO EXCUSE. That's why Pakistan is the way it is. About 54% of the population is sheerly repressed.

tammy8604 · December 6, 2009, 7:00pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

hahah PCG, you** own** all those men?
And paki men are retards?

PyariCgudia · December 6, 2009, 7:04pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

You're right. You can have the retards. I'll keep the hot successful ones.

Hey, at least you'll get your visa. shrugs

farrah · December 6, 2009, 7:12pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

it's the same bigoted culture you've got your roots in ... and just cuz you've painted yourself another color, doesnt mean you're any different ....

pcg ... please try and find alternative views instead of looking at something from a tiny-tracked pov.
and get this straight ... larkiyon k rishtay unkay maan baap kertay hain ... wo khud nahi ... and doosra .. bahar say larkay khud atay hain rishtoun k liye, unko khench ker koi nahi lata ... bahar larkiyon ko koi jaldi nahi shadi ki, aur lakray intezar kernay ko raazi nahi ... so apni community k maslay khud solve karo!

just becuz tumko bohat azadi milli hai, that doesnt mean you laugh at those who dont have it.
i have worked my way out MYSELF ... so obviously there are those girls as well who take the initiative regardless, but phir saath saath baatein bhi sun'nay ko milti hain ...

pakistan this pakistan that ... isnt it too easy to say it from a distance! go and try to live in that mentality with all things attached ... khud he samajh mein ajayega sab kuch ...

tammy8604 · December 6, 2009, 7:14pm

PyariCgudia:

So because you guys have a bigoted culture and you educate your girls to spruce up their rishtaa CV's and oh-dear-the-poor-girl-cannot-be-allowed-to-step-out-of-the-house, you're going to be fishing in MY POND and going after MY MEN?

Uh-uh.

Plenty of retards in pakistan to marry. Leave our boys alone.

We work our ARSES off here, and I know LOTS of well-educated girls going into their 30's that no one wants to marry, because perfectly good guys are being transported back to get some desi girl who gets here and then makes trouble for everyone and even further isolates those 30 year old working women who are just trying to find a mate and settle down.

No sir. Because your parents don't let you out of your homes is NO EXCUSE. That's why Pakistan is the way it is. About 54% of the population is sheerly repressed.

oh yeah thats no excuse, they should run from their homes, make thier own lives, find jobs and be more independent like you, right?
This shows how much you know about how life is for average middle class girl in pakistan.

farrah · December 6, 2009, 7:14pm

Re: Why Do men do this??????

and also to repeat myself ... I AM NOT FOR SUCH CROSS COUNTRY ARRANGED MARRIAGED!

only if she knew tammy!