one thing i don’t understand is why do guys who are born and raised in america marry girls from pakistan?
What about the girls in america? They don’t have the luxary to do that. Where are they to find rishta’s???
This confuses me because those girls who are born and raised in America the proper way, and by proper way i mean they have accepted their culture and the weatern culture and have blended to stay true of themselves and their religion. Those girls who know its not right to date, drink, go clubbing etc.
why is it that those girls get punished? They end up being left to rot, or they have to fend for themselves… these things tick me off.
So i guess i want people to explain to me why is this right? why do men do this? I need to understand cause it’s not fair…
thanks for letting me vent…
Zahra
its not only in america, its everywhere. I think its the mother.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
if they don't want ya, they aren't worth it to begin with
people can marry whoever they want
Re: Why Do men do this??????
Hmm... I totally understand your POV. I think its logical that guys who have been born/bred abroad would be much better off marrying girls born/bred abroad who enjoy similar values and culture.
As for guys who've been abroad but not for a very long time, I know for sure from discussions that the biggest attraction is that they want a more "gharelo" girl i.e. one who is expert in cooking, sewing, stuff like that and is more likely to be more modest than some of the counterparts born/bred abroad. Although whether these girls do actually turn out to be that kind person is another story. Personally, the chalaak girls from big cities back home give me creeps !!
No offence though, there are great, decent, homemaker girls abroad as well.... just explaining the logic behind why some guys marry girls from back home.
one thing i don't understand is why do guys who are born and raised in america marry girls from pakistan? What about the girls in america? They don't have the luxary to do that. Where are they to find rishta's??? This confuses me because those girls who are born and raised in America the proper way, and by proper way i mean they have accepted their culture and the weatern culture and have blended to stay true of themselves and their religion. Those girls who know its not right to date, drink, go clubbing etc. why is it that those girls get punished? They end up being left to rot, or they have to fend for themselves... these things tick me off. So i guess i want people to explain to me why is this right? why do men do this? I need to understand cause it's not fair.... thanks for letting me vent.... Zahra
The reason why alot of guys from america marry pakistani girls is because many american born desi girls don't agree to marriage for a long time. I have seen this happen. So many of my cousins have this problem. I tried hooking up my cousin with so many other desi girls who weren't even THAT young like around 25-29 and they were just not ready to get married. In the end he had no choice and settled down with a girl from pakistan. My fiances younger brother had to do the same thing. He came across alot of girls but they all wanted to date first and get to know him and then decide on marriage. He didn't want to waste his time and just get into marriage right away because he wanted to start a family soon so he married a girl from pakistan.
And american girls usually know alot about financial stuff so they make sure the guy is earning a certain amount. Most of these guys send rishta to very middle class not so educated pakistani girls who don't realy know so much about salary so thats never an issue. They are just glad they are getting married and financial status doesn't matter that much because for them just moving to america means alot. (im not talking about rich pakistani girls, i m talking about middle class girls who aren't so career oriented themsleves and don't really interfere with parents decision)
Im not speaking for all desi american girls, Im talkning about my own personal experience
^ Desi mothers, who have experienced ALL the unfairness of desi society's attitude toward women, don't want to make life easier for the future generation of women. Instead they want the young women who come after them to suffer in the same way. That's how I see it.
They want a "bahu" who is basically pure, virgin, innocent, meek, submissive, passive.....a doormat.....who dare not challenge or question their decisions.....who will do all the housework and tolerate any abuse without complaint. And they firmly believe that a girl born and brought up in the motherland embodies these "praiseworthy" attributes.
In some cases, desi parents feel that they should get a girl from Pak because she might be able to "FIX" their messed up son or would be too naive to see that he is messed up, or perhaps he's having a harder time finding someone suitable and think that it will be eaiser to find a girl from Pak.
People are also picky about other things regarding rishtas. To each their own. Do you really want to have in-laws with such narrow views who have already made up their mind about you before even getting to know you? Their views are merely an opinion, not a fact. I've noticed that some girls brought up in Pak can be more chalak and shrewd than their western counterparts. Try not to dwell on them. Someone who is worth your time will get take the time to get to know you.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
To say that a lot of guys do this is wrong. I think most westernized guys prefer girls who know American lifestyle. Of course there are guys who will go back and get married .. for gaherloo wife and stuff but then there are girls born/raised in the US that will go back and get married to someone in Pakistan.
So this question should be addressed to both genders I think. Why do you go back to get married when you are born/raised in the US??!!
Family wants them to marry back home, rarely the guy.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
i echo what the others have said. i see the same situation in the uk and its not the guys themselves that wanna marry back home but its most often the family (i.e. mothers) who pressurise their sons into getting married in pakistan because for some reason they think girls in pakistan will make better wives... which of course is not always true as one family friend's sons have just found out after getting married back home....
one thing i don't understand is why do guys who are born and raised in america marry girls from pakistan? What about the girls in america? They don't have the luxary to do that. Where are they to find rishta's??? This confuses me because those girls who are born and raised in America the proper way, and by proper way i mean they have accepted their culture and the weatern culture and have blended to stay true of themselves and their religion. Those girls who know its not right to date, drink, go clubbing etc. why is it that those girls get punished? They end up being left to rot, or they have to fend for themselves... these things tick me off. So i guess i want people to explain to me why is this right? why do men do this? I need to understand cause it's not fair.... thanks for letting me vent.... Zahra
Zahra,
Its not right but its done anyway. Mothers that come from Pakistan tell their sons its better for them but in actuality its a selfish decision that is better for the mothers...or so they think. LOL. Girls that grow up here should look at it as a favor done to them. DO you want to be a part of a family that looks at you in such a way? Um...NOT ME.
Personally, almost every single marriage Ive seen based on this theory has managed to make me smile. Eventually, these imported brides manage to piss off the MILs even more then the ABCDs do.
Be happy you're not caught in their drama.
Hmm... I totally understand your POV. I think its logical that guys who have been born/bred abroad would be much better off marrying girls born/bred abroad who enjoy similar values and culture.
As for guys who've been abroad but not for a very long time, I know for sure from discussions that the biggest attraction is that they want a more "gharelo" girl i.e. one who is expert in cooking, sewing, stuff like that and is more likely to be more modest than some of the counterparts born/bred abroad. Although whether these girls do actually turn out to be that kind person is another story. Personally, the chalaak girls from big cities back home give me creeps !!
No offence though, there are great, decent, homemaker girls abroad as well.... just explaining the logic behind why some guys marry girls from back home.
These are the misconceptions Im talking about. Please dont get me started on this topic...I might not stop!!!
Re: Why Do men do this??????
thank you guys for your POV's it's helped me out a lot. :)
Re: Why Do men do this??????
a lot of parents wants their son to marry a girl from pakistan because they believe a pakistani girl can bring more pakistani tradition in their home and their grand kids can be less americanized that way.
Re: Why Do men do this???
guys should make everyone happy. :halo:
Re: Why Do men do this???
… because men think all american born/bred girls have issues like ..http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/376476-beards.html
Well the guys I hear of that marry girls from Pakistan are those that are already so corrupted that no girls abroad would want to marry them. But I've also seen many good guys bring girls from Pakistan due to parents preferences and their own. I've also seen many girls living abroad marry guys from Pakistan too.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
girls from abroad are so un-kool.
girls back home are totally awesome.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
What people don't understand is that this is creating a serious problem for the girls who grew up abroad. If no one from back home wants to marry them, and no one locally raised wants to marry them, then exactly who is gonna marry them?
I'm in network with a bunch of girls with similar problems as I'm facing. No one ends up wanting to marry you and finding a decent rishtaa becomes a really difficult task.
Re: Why Do men do this??????
Fikar nahi karo Zahraa, if this trend continues, the same guys who are bringing girls from back in Pakistan are going to face serious trouble when their own daughters get older and experience the same discrimination they gave other women when they were younger.
What people don't understand is that this is creating a serious problem for the girls who grew up abroad. If no one from back home wants to marry them, and no one locally raised wants to marry them, then exactly who is gonna marry them?
I'm in network with a bunch of girls with similar problems as I'm facing. No one ends up wanting to marry you and finding a decent rishtaa becomes a really difficult task.
girls abroad so far, have failed to develop a character(accumulative) for them selves.
Remember respect is never given--ppl earn it
my child...
(guys are no different--so un-kool)
Re: Why Do men do this???
acha?? every second day we have a complain post that parents are looking for ullu ka patha in Pakisatn to get married with me … I dont wana marry a FOB from back home , please HELPPPPP…
I am surprised that you are complaining otherwise…