Why Do men do this??????

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Why Do men do this??????

haha Farrah, she thinks we are her competition perhaps..
PCG, plenty of fish in the pond so don't be hatin.

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BS - so you're recommending girls quit getting educated and getting careers? Exactly the backward type thinking that exists in Pakistan.

The solution is - get the boys more educated and into better jobs so they can match up with the progress the girls are making. No more of this - oh, beta jee, just handle the gas station your father has been running for the past 20 years, we don't expect you to be an actual contributing citizen in this country we migrated to.

India's ailing air force at risk as Pakistan, China modernise
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Re: Why Do men do this??????

girls abroad has made their own reputation bad by themselves. None is to be blamed. I am going to generalize here.. so no quoting me here please.. girls abroad have forgotten their culture, their values, their traditions..IMO. No offense. I'd marry a girl based in Canada, if she has what i m looking for..and ofcourse if i have what she is looking for. Compatibility is what matters, not where someone is raised.

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

^ I don't think (at least I hoping) that the thread creator's intention was to say that one group of desi girls is more or less superior than the others.

I think that her intention was to address the erroneous views held by some aunties living abroad that desi girls in Pak would make better wives. And the sad reality is that some of these aunties have the wrong intentions when it comes to their idea of a "better bahu".......which can entail someone who is blindly obedient, passive, will do household chores, etc etc.

The truth is that not all girls are in Pak are like that. My cousins in Pak are so different when it comes to their personalities. Some are into household chores.....some don't go near them. Some are very down-to-earth.......others can be bit taiz and sneaky and tactless. But then again, I've found these same qualities in girls who are more Westernized.

To each his own. When dealing with matter of rishtas, we're picky about a WHOLE SLEW of things....not only where the potential was brought up. We also have preferences for looks, job, education, compatible personalities, etc. Although it's wrong to generalize, people base their opinions (good or bad) on the types of experiences that they've had. In the end, you do what you feel is best for you.

Timepass February 2015 _ Jashn e BaharaN
Timepass February 2015 _ Jashn e BaharaN
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Everyone in my family did it. There is no stopping girls except for their parents, and if they can break other rules, then why not break the stupid ones their parents set for them, which block them from being contributing citizens in their own country?

You guys can cry about the state of Pakistan all you want, and maybe the solution for every girl is marry a foreign-settled boy and get out. But that's making the situation worse in Pakistan, and its contributing to a massive brain drain.

You folks will win a lot more respect in the eyes of the world if you actually tried to solve some of your own backyward problems.

Is it hard?

Yes.

No one said it would be easy to build a strong country.

But then what amazes me is girls like some of you will find an American boy, come over here, and then work in the American economy and contribute to it - you will do everything you thought was inappropriate for girls to do in Pakistan (i.e. get educated and work).

So don't be knocking those of us raised here who do get educated and work. It is certainly something worth WAITING FOR.

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:rotfl:

Timepass February 2015 _ Jashn e BaharaN
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Oh give me a break. Go look online at pictures of desi society in Pakistan today. There is no difference between that and what I see at desi dawats. The same junk.

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maybe BS to you … but its not my backward thinking … it’s the majority … and apparently we dont make up for the majority, still are at the opposite side of the dicussion.

and again .. those boys are from your community, so you handle them .. you teach your/their parents to make them able enough for you. what’s the pakistani girl’s fault? whether or not a desi-farangi comes … she’ll get married anyway!

you have too much azadi and opportunity … respect and appreciate that … dont make it a mocking basis to those who dont have the luxury!
like tammy said … girls cant just run from their homes to make a stupid community better! cuz already paki girls are very atrocious, conniving, chalak and God knows what! :hoonh:

Blessing in disguise!!
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Bottom line is, if someone prefers coming here to find a rishta, it's NOT wrong, It's their personal preference.

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

That's the whole thing. Its NOT their personal preference. These same boys, shareef morons that you come across on the rishtaa trail, have had girlfriends and sexual partners HERE before they hit you for more booty. Don't ever think they originally wanted a girl from Pakistan - usually its their mom and dad who convince them into it, and they grudgingly accept it. They tend to then realize that girls from Pakistan are easily manipulative, and so they figure its a better deal for marriage anyway.

This problem is a SERIOUS problem. Girls in the States get negatively affected by it, because these boys see us as only timepass and good enough for GF material - they will NEVER go to their parents and tell them about us. Girls in the Pakistan are negatively get affected by it, because in reality, you're getting a sleezebucket who possibly has STD's and previous sexual experiences usually and so you get deceived thinking you're marrying some chand.

People don't network here enough locally for their boys, because they're suspicious of the girls, and girls who SHOULD NOT be getting weeded out by evolution (educated and progressive minded women), are indeed getting weeded out.

So our society stays stagnant. The overall effects on society are tremendous. You can compare the Pakistani society abroad and the Indian society, and you'll see the Indians have achieved much more. Even in the time and resources we have as Pakistanis abroad, we just are not as successful.

Why? Because our WOMEN carry our communities and as long as you have women who are NOT SUCCESSFUL and NOT EDUCATED and have LOW GOALS being most of the moms out there, you will not produce a future generation that can take on the challenges being thrown on us Pakistanis. Because our kids will be content with taking on a job at a gas station or a 711 over being truly qualified graduates.

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PCG, aren't your parents FROM pakistan? Why didn't your famliy try to solve problems of pakistan and stay here? You can come here and solve all the issues since you know the answer and solution to everything!
Just because you are lucky enough to be born and raised outside of pakistan doesn't mean everyone else also had it so easy.

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

I think the real 'audience' for this post, the Pakistani Aunties in amrika (including PCG's mom), are not really paying attention here.

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

Tammy, my dad came in the 70's when the population of women here was much less, and there weren't many girls in higher education at that time. So being raised in Pakistan and having spent most of his life in Pakistan, he bought a wife back from there.

I'm talking about boys who were RAISED HERE, BORN HERE. Going back and seeking Pakistani born girls. It's retarded. Why ever would you do that when there are perfectly INCREDIBLE women here. I have a line of them that I know. Go look online on rishta threads and on rishta websites, and you'll find an endless row of "35 year old Anesthesiologist woman, looking for a college educated man". Do you know how many guys I've gotten messages from on these online networking sites - who are 40 year olds? They don't want to talk to the 30 year olds. They don't want to talk to girls with a good education and a successful career - they're frankly INTIMIDATED by it.

Is it fair to these girls? No. Does it encourage our society to get more educated and do better and more productive things with themselves? No.

Go to f'ing Coney Island, or Devon Street or some of these Pakistani ghettos in the US. They refuse to get with the times.

And it's because most of the ammas these days are un-pars and ignorant jaahil girls picked up from Pakistan who bring over their backwards ideas here and sprinkle our communities with our ideas.

I'll tell you what. A 35 year old Anesthesiologist will do a crapload better job raising more sensible kids than the moronic 21 year old from Karachi barely matric pass who figured she would nab an American guy so she can have her "mansion" in the suburbs of new york.

Blessing in disguise!!
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Girls from pakistan aren't as dumb as you think. Most of them know the guy isn't so shareef but they don't have a choice, because the parents are okay with the rishta. They would still prefer that over what they have here. And I KNOW some very shareef guys who coudn't find shareef girls in america so they had to look here. So desi american girls are equally nonshareef as desi american boys with STDs and all.

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

That's BS. I know a row of girls who are excellently qualified, very sensible women, who are STD free, and never touched a man in their life. These guys want someone under their thumb, that's all. And as long as we women keep giving a truckload of ignoramuses to these guys and as long as they know the mothership is loaded with such girls, the more they're going to go back and find women when they could find perfectly nice girls here.

I can understand if you are a male immigrant, and you spent most of your life in Pakistan and you want to go back and find a wife there. But if you GREW UP HERE, then FRIGGIN HELL, marry one of your brown girlfriends, will ya? Or that's not part of your deen imaan?

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

I fail to see why is it the problem of girls in Pakistan if guys in the west want to marry them. or if girls in the west want to marry guys in pakistan

its the guys choice to marry who they want, plenty of guys marry locally as well.

its the girls choice to say yes or no

if the guys or girls want their families to find someone for them then its their families choice. and unless the family is forcing them to marry someone that they dont want to be hooked up with whether that individual is in the west or in pakistan, there is no issue.

unless we are looking for legislation to stop ppl from marrying who they want from where they want, and find someone in the same postal code, i dont see a problem here.

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

pakistan born n raised girls rock:D..and one of the major reasons is that ive noticed we have a higher tolerence level which comes in handy in times of conflict..in relationships for example!:)

The culture of respecting our elders and buzurgs is firmly ingrained into our thinking since childhood...so the mothers back in USA seek more of this as well!(again..im NOT saying girls outside pakistan lack these qualities)

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Keep as many as you want. As long as they dont run to desiland. As for the visa, you can keep the change too. Cheers

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Re: Why Do men do this??????

It's about respect, X2. These same families will raise us girls here and we go through massive saccrifices in our education and upbringing. We girls will not date. We girls will stay clean. We girls will work hard giving one exam after another. To see the same guys who will want to start up a "relationship" with us under the guise of marriage, and then they drop us and go home to marry a "more shareef" girl from Pakistan.

Of course everyone has their choice, but don't tell me you can't find a girl with the same set of values you look for in Pakistan right here in your own backyward.

Families have made it a game. Yeah, go ahead beta, go flirt all you want with girls here, but we wont marry you to them.

A great case in point: Bhenjee's thread regarding the girl her brother is dating. Plenty of such threads that show the hypocritical nature of Pakistani people.

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Yes you are.