Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

Lifestyle Relationships
41

No problem. I have no idea when PS2 happened but it seems to be here to stay! lol

irene at allenora khi
42

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

A! - All I ask for is a good sense of humour and I am done.

Atar sooo reminds me of Harrods. Bliss!

43

wow, so dress like a shareef insaan means to be clueless? Look, I know plenty of shareef religious people who dress very well buy their clothes from 'modern' shops, and/or mix and match designer stuff with basic chinos or jeans etc.

it would have been much better if you had said that the first guy is well dressed and the second guy is not.

Now for the intelligence part, how do you know B is intelligent and A is not? it does not seem like you know either of them very well. contrary to popular misconception majority of intelligent people are social and confident.

I think that either you dont know the two people well enough, or are able to artculate the differences well enough.

and to circle back, u have not listed what they are looking for in their spouse, what their expectations are and how you fit those.

People as Pixels
44

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

well i would go with B (though my hubby is the mixture of A & B....he is funny, somewhat social, religious, doesnt smell itr)

for me the most important thing is if the person is close to Allah and to his religion.or not I have noticed those who are close to Allah will obiviously do as Allah tells them to do meaning respect women and fullfill all the responcibilities that he has towards his wife who will not only respect his wife but also her parents.
He is already intelligent and smiles (later on you can teach him how to laugh....its something some people dont learn due to the lifestyle they had).

Sharafat is another important thing. As for not being social, well people do change (my hubby is not really social but he is really friendly he has friends of all ages) some people take time to open up and when they do they are you or anyone's best friend. If he hangs out in masjid thats not an issue either. You can teach him by hadith that our islam tells us to have a balanced life nothing t the extrem is good for anyone even ebaadats should be done moderatly and not enjoying all the "halal" things that Allah have provide us can be nasukri and a true muslim will never wana do nasukri.

Buy option B some nice colognes and he'll smell nice too. Plan a trip after marriage to malls/cafes with option B and if he loves his wife he'll hang out where ever she wants too as long he is with her, he is not gona mind (to an extend)
If you think realisticly this type of guys are good fathers they'll pass on good values to their kids.

Now about option A:

First of all i dont see any attributes other than being jolly person. i've seen the funny, and always cracking jokes type take longer to take life seriously and understands his responcibilities towards his wife as he never took life seriously. The guy will always worry about his dresses more than his responcibilities towards his family (i dont want to generalize that would not be fair). When considering a proposal most people (atleast I) didnt consider if the guy likes hanging out in the malls/cafes/cinemas. Smelling nice is not an attribute either. (ask yourself) Option A only only attracts you before marriage after marriage you dont want to find your husband in cafes, cinemas and malls. After marriage you want a senseable person who doesnt laugh all the time and is never serious towards you r towards his own life instead you want a person who is described in option B.

Keep in mind think about it also ask Allah to guide you as He knows what is best for us!

45

Why are you attacking me? :/

Guy A has taste in clothes, guy B doesn't. At home or in masjid guy B dresses like a sharif guy though; shalwar kamiz.

^ Thats what I meant. I appologize for not being able to say it more clear the first time.

I never said guy A isn't intelligent? What I said was that both are well educated, and that guy B is very, very intelligent - and not that everyone else around him is stupid. His intelligence stands out, and his grades have always been straight A's.

I didnt write about their expectations because surprice surprice thats not what I wanted to discuss in here.

If your next reply is just another attack on me and not an answer to my first question in this thread, I kindly ask you not to come back (:

46

1) I am NOT attacking you. please get that out of your head.

You asked for help and advise, I am helping you sort through the way you are thinking about this. In doing so as people are giving you advise they are basing it on what you have provided as info, and its info that is not really specific or accurate. e.g. the dressing like a shreef person statement.

You now realize yourself that it was not accurate. Now think about it, if ppl who posted earlier did not understand that by dressng like a shareef insaan you mean not dressing well, did they understand the situation properly?

Secondly, if your characterization of other aspects of the personality and characteristics of the two gentlemen has similar issues in drawing parallels or showng contrasts, then the advise that people are giving is based on incorrect info to begin with. It would help you to revisit and be more clear. even if it is not politically correct.

2) as far as knowing their expectations, that is a key key issue here. and yes thats not what you are asking about, but one can find their knight in shining armour, but if they are nt the damsell in distress the knight was lookign for, what good does it do :)

At the end of the day, I dont know you and it frankly does not make an ounce of difference to me who you marry and how your married life is. All I am doing is trying to help you.

If you are going to be immature enough to not realize when someone is trying to help you then I dont really have an interest in wasting my time on you either :)

47

Generalising.

48

Re: Who’d you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

I really didnt get the meaning behind Shareef guy - dressing like shalwar qameez? what about all those disgusted uncles in shalwar qameez in pakistan who love to hit on women or makes an attempt to pinch women just like that on a street - those r mostly in shalwar qameez - are they considered shareef as well??

shareef guy in shalwar qameez:rolleyes:

hAmAqAt
49

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

i would definitely go for type A but i think personally type B person would be better for me. im talkative so if he's quiet he'll balance us out. wow its a tough decision. i think type A is the guy that i would be attracted to

pre n post prgnancy weight
50

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

[QUOTE]

I'd go for A simply because B smells of itr. I learned the hard way that if a guy doesnt smell too appealing its nothing but torture. Why stick yourself with a stinkbomb for your whole life?

[/QUOTE]

LOL I think you are thinking about the typical itr found in Pakistan, someone gave one to my husband once, he called it "uncle itr" and chucked it coz it really didnt smell good at all. But he has some really great itrs too, that he got from the Middle East, they arent like those cheap nasty ones, they're of good quality so they smell reallllly good and come in pretty bottles too lol. If you're ever in the Middle East look for a shop called Haramain, they have really nice ones and a huge variety so Im sure you'll find something that suits your tastes

51

Re: Who’d you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

So whats the count Guys:faizy:…More and More I see girls opt for B?
One thing that was not mentioned was is the GUY A religious too or not?

52

i soooooooo agree with u,
A - laid back? casual? its more likely hes been going around with girls than B......
B - shy type? i wud trust him more, - & anyways if hes religious & slowly turns u into a practicing muslim, surley thats a gud thing right???:)

53

[quote]
A) The funny and social type. Laughs out loud. Dresses well. Smells of the newest cologne on the street. Could very well be your brother's friend, as both like to hang out the same places (cinemas, cafes, malls). All in all an outward person. You feel you know where you have him.

B) The very calm type. Very, very intelligent. Smiles more than he laughs. Really religious. Dresses and looks like a sharif guy. Smells of itr. Not at all the type that could sozialice with your brother, as he'd rather hang out in a masjid. You look up to this guy and really admire him, but at the same time you don't feel you've got to know 'the whole him'. You can't imagine how it would be to be intimate with him.
[/quote]

The comments you made, are they based on just your observations from one evening, or what you have observed over time, or what others have told you? From just meeting them once, personally I dont think you could have gotten toooo deep an understanding of them. First of all, about their clothes, what if their mom told them what to wear, so what difference does that make. Second of all, I dont think you can imagine what it would be like to be intimate with anyone you just met, nor should you really start imagining that about every rista that comes to your house! More important than what they are wearing and how they smell, you need to understand their character, their personality. Do they share the same values, principles as you? Are they caring, compassionate, understanding? Are they someone you feel you can respect and honour and that you feel they will respect and honour you? Someone who will bring a smile to your face and a happiness to your heart? Someone you want to spend your whole life with, who will stand by you in all the good times and bad, someone who will be not only a good husband but a good father to your children. You need more than one night to get this understanding, so dont rush yourself and next time dont focus too much on what they are wearing

54

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

wait for a cocktail of A & B

55

I married to type B (mins the itar smell) and within few months of getting married he became type A. Not calm at all he screams like h$ll now :)

56

Re: Who’d you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

a 3rd option should also be put on the table. :snooty:

57

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

i would marry to type A....coz im not outgoing person so i need someone of tht type...and i have two younger brothers n i love them more than anything....so i would like them to be frnds and hangout with him too...

Timepass-July 2012
58

**For the ones who care:

I've chosen B) :)**

59

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

^ ooh congrats :D

60

Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?

Thanks hun' :)