Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
The one whose words and actions show relatively more respect for humanity & more sincerity towards one's ultimate Lord specially if you are able to observe him while apparently no one else is watching his activities. In short, the one with better character.
questions
so is #1 not intelligent and a total dumbass? does dressing 'well' does not mean he dresses like a shareef guy..(how does a shareef guy dress) I mean when u say he dresses well..does he dress well but like a gangsta? how is that considered dressing well?
why would #2 not socialize with your brother? because your bro is not the hangin out at the masjid type? is he not social? would he not have much of a social life outside of masjid?
how about you find someone who dresses well, is intelligent, can be calm when he needs to be calm and laid back, can be all extrovert and social when that is what is needed, is religious but balanced, can socialize with anyone even if that person does not have a whole lot in common with him in interests or personality. who has many of the same interests you have and others that are his own gig.
now start looking
PS: and similarly you have to know, what are they looking for and how do you align with what they are looking for.
Great reply.
Yea wait for C :D
Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
I'd go for A simply because B smells of itr. I learned the hard way that if a guy doesnt smell too appealing its nothing but torture. Why stick yourself with a stinkbomb for your whole life?
Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
its the personality that matters girls !!!!!!!!!!....... holieee... things like wearing itr and stuff like this can be changed after marriage .. once u tell him u'd rather have him wear cologne ..and he most likely would. After marriage there are changes that needs to be done from both sides..
what if you're wearing something that isnt really appealing to the guy?.. what then?
Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
Go for the guy who is more polite and humble to his own family.
Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
My fiance is a mixture of all the great things in both --- and then some! :D
Re: Who’d you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
meri batain ho rahy hain :aq:
Reject A bcos he hangs out in malls (immature), making sure he has the newest aftershave on the market and laughs out loud too much - this indicates some level of insecurity and lack of inner confidence, displays the need to prove something or must b accepted by society.
Reject B bcos too much outward religiousness may set alarm bells if he seems the type to stop thinking for himself and blindly follows mullahs who don't know what they r talking about or have no link with the real world. However, smiles more than he laughs is good.
Wait for a mixture of social person, with a healthy questioning mind who understands and practices religion without being oppressive, and who has inner confidence.
Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
I am really amazed at how some people are giving this negative impression regarding smell of itr. The prophet (saw) loved to use itr and encouraged people to use it. In fact I have found the smell of good itr (from Makkah and Madina...etc.) to be a lot better then perfumes.
I do understand that cheap and low quality itr in Pakistan and India smells bad, but then low quality perfumes (even some expensive ones) also smell very bad and causes head ache to me whenever I come across anyone who has used it, which doesn't mean that I should start generalizing that "smell of perfume" is bad, and I should avoid anyone using it.
Re: Who'd you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
what is the smell of itr?
Jeez . life doesn’t come with many choices , does it :)
I am really amazed at how some people are giving this negative impression regarding smell of itr. The prophet (saw) loved to use itr and encouraged people to use it. In fact I have found the smell of good itr (from Makkah and Madina...etc.) to be a lot better then perfumes.
I do understand that cheap and low quality itr in Pakistan and India smells bad, but then low quality perfumes (even some expensive ones) also smell very bad and causes head ache to me whenever I come across anyone who has used it, which doesn't mean that I should start generalizing that "smell of perfume" is bad, and I should avoid anyone using it.
Don’t worry STP bruv .. People do generalize and to generalize is to be an idiot :)
^ I agree brother, that we should not generalize.
I just found the following site regarding Itr. Actually there are many varieties for both men and women which can be found on different sites.
Google Image Result for http://www.sugandhco.com/images/natural_itra.gif
Some of the itr of Makkah and Madina are even more expensive than well known perfumes, because they have long lasting fresh and soothing smell which don’t evaporate or fade away even after a long time.
Re: Who’d you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
Um yeah I’m a bit confused :halo: Whats wrong with the smell of itr :halo: Some of them actually smell quite good you know :halo:
questions
does dressing 'well' does not mean he dresses like a shareef guy..(how does a shareef guy dress) I mean when u say he dresses well..does he dress well but like a gangsta? how is that considered dressing well?
Well dressed = dresses modern, buys his clothes in modern shops
Sharif guy = dresses according to the sunnah when he's at home or in masjid, doesnt even know the names of shops so he wears whatever he finds in his clothes (doesn't look good)
Also, why does it appear that you're (diamond in rough) already holding an opinion on these 2 guys? Like the 'funny n social guy' is all dressy and trendy n smells of heaven. But the other guy is religious and non-social and smells of 'itr'.
I can clearly see that you already have your own opinion. Why choose who's better when one's a mango and the other a rabbit?
Im not holding any opinion; these are all facts about both guys. By pointing out that B) smells of itr I was just trying to show that he follows the sunnah in every aspect, while A) is more modern when it comes to these things.
I was faced with a similar choice once and opted for the cool one. Its not necessary my experience be true for everyone but it was pretty obvious I had made a bad choice shortly afterwards.
So you regretted your choice? Wow... :( I feel like crying now. I don't want to make that mistake.
Thank you for your reply, sis. Really.. Even though it made me cry.
I am really amazed at how some people are giving this negative impression regarding smell of itr. The prophet (saw) loved to use itr and encouraged people to use it.
Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Thank you so much for coming in to this thread. Your first reply in here.. so true!
Two rishte came to your house;
*A) The funny and social type. Laughs out loud. Dresses well. Smells of the newest cologne on the street. Could very well be your brother's friend, as both like to hang out the same places (cinemas, cafes, malls). All in all an outward person. You feel you know where you have him. *
B) The very calm type. Very, very intelligent. Smiles more than he laughs. Really religious. Dresses and looks like a sharif guy. Smells of itr. Not at all the type that could sozialice with your brother, as he'd rather hang out in a masjid. You look up to this guy and really admire him, but at the same time you don't feel you've got to know 'the whole him'. You can't imagine how it would be to be intimate with him.
Both are well educated and earn good money. Both come from a good family. Both have a beard.
Who would you choose and why? Is your pick the opposite of you? Please take time to explain :)
I don't know how to make polls btw :(
I would go for the first one. Because I' myself is quite boring and quite reserve so I would like to have such ppl in my life who can enjoy and make me enjoy their company aswell. I like friendly ppl who have a strong sense of humour.
Re: Who’d you choose as a lifepartner, A or B?
^ dont go for opposite personality, i m telling u, yeh its exciting but bunjee jumping looks exciting as well :aq:
I was faced with a similar choice once and opted for the cool one. Its not necessary my experience be true for everyone but it was pretty obvious I had made a bad choice shortly afterwards.
*Someone once told me the volatile, crazy and head-over-heels type of love only lasts for a little while. What is left after that is what counts...friendship, compatibility, *respect, admiration, etc. You still love the person but in a different way now...its a mature and very strong type of love. **
Even though you might be more attracted to Guy A...go for Guy B...he will respect you.
I like ...I Like! thanks for this PS2 (LOL, I just realized...this is a wicked new GS name for you...like SomegroovyChick is SGC, LOL
So you regretted your choice? Wow... :( I feel like crying now. I don't want to make that mistake. Thank you for your reply, sis. Really.. Even though it made me cry.
that was in her experinence!
you cant just ASSUME that guy A is like that...he might seem like it but you never know until afterwards....plus just becuase it happend to someone else doesnt mean it will happen to you...maybe you read guy A all wrong
(btw imgaine if the guys A&B actually read this? lol they'd be on cloud 9 knowing so many people were discussing em' and breaking down their personalities and whatnot, :D )
[quote="diamond.in.rough, post:8, topic:189094"]
So you regretted your choice? Wow... :( I feel like crying now. I don't want to make that mistake.
Thank you for your reply, sis. Really.. Even though it made me cry.
quote]
Diamond, its not necessary that what I went through you will too. And dont be sad about it because I realized before it was too late and got out. Sadly, Mr B had already moved on. :(
All I will say is marriage is a lifetime committment and the wedding only lasts for one day. After the wedding is over, everyone goes home to their own lives and you are left with this person to live with every single day for the rest of your life...thru good and bad. Make sure the person is easy going, respectful of your wishes, a little religious is a very good thing (he will pay attention to the way Allah swt wants him to treat his wife), educated and of course some chemistry cant hurt. ;)
As for the way he dresses...didnt you say they are financially stable? Take his credit card and go shopping woman! Go to your nearest mall, get some basic pieces for his wardrobe, change the haircut, replace his itr with cologne if thats what rocks your boat and VOILA! Now you have guy A and B. :) His look can be changed overnight...but not his personality.
