What to do?

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Sighting of Kaleem.... Wow....

22

i love this song by Roxette

23

Re: What to do?

Thanks for the feedback y'all. ......I really must say that alot of the females are being very judgemental towards me........ The truth is, you don't know everything I've put up with for the last 8 years...... he's been a jerk, lied, and made many scenes in public...... I have onlyyy been there for him accepting all his faults big and small...... if wanting to avoid public arguements makes me a snob.... then i suppose i am.....

he himself would agree that he has a really good thing going for him.....and my resentment towards him began by him loosing him temper with my parents...... you canot tell me that I'm making him suffer by trying to muster up the ability to give him a second chance or just walking away...... the issues were always there.... but i suppose love is blind?

i also know that he loves me because the thought of loosing me kills him....

24

Re: What to do?

well than have some public argument, and see how much he respects your opinion, and also you.
cuz it seems like he just love your face, but not your thinking/approach.

25

Re: What to do?

WHy did u put up with him for 8 years?

were you married to him? did u have a child with him?

b/c that's the only reason one should "put up" with someone for such a long time.

26

Look, regardless of whether other females are soft-petaling their remarks or not, you just said it yourself: you've put up with so much BS over the last 8 years. And you're not even married yet! Imagine how issues will multiply when you have to share home, body, and soul with someone.

Too many girls have this sick emotional codependence---they see themselves as martyrs (oh, I did so much for him, I put up with so much, etc., etc.) Is it not crystal clear that this is not the foundation of a healthy relationship?

Dump him.

27

You guys have serious issues so it would be wise not to get into a serious commitment.

28

I think the fact that you wasted 8 years of your life kills you more than the fact that you might lose him.

29

Re: What to do?

Truth is you need his attention - you're too used to it. Ask yourself if you can live without it.

30

8 years is a long time..there must have been something about him u liked that u were with him for that long..ill tell u even friendlships dont last for that much of a time period..

thing aobut one thing..kehi aisa to neh hoga keh if u call off the rlshp now..that ull fall apart?//..so make sure u r strong enough to do it before u do..r the probs really so bad that u won't be able t o overcome them?..dunt make a rash decision...think it thru thoroughly first..

31

This mentality that time spent in a relationship equals an investment that desperately needs to recouped, no matter what, gets so many women into trouble. It's not always the things that people like about one another that keep them together---sometimes its unhealthy emotional codependence, lack of confidence in ability to find something better, low self-esteem that leads people to thrive off constant conflict and drama, etc. And even things you did like for whatever period can be far outweighed by the negative. A good relationship should never be about constant conflict, drama, hurt... a good relationship brings out the best in both people.

Any wise investor can tell you that sometimes you make a bad investment and its best to just cut your losses.

Wht r u doing ?
32

Re: What to do?

i dunt think aNy relationsip is perfect Or ever wiLL bE..and i dunt see super major problems here that she couldnt have seen b4 since its been a while shes been in relaitonsihp..

..u only value something when its gone..

..nd this mentality of being confident independent stonrg women who drops a relationshp at the sign of any trouble is really just a selfish self-absorbed and anxiety-filled view of soemone who has no belief or confidence in themselves that they are mature enough to deal with life..

..whos to say the next relationship shes in if she does find somebody shes happy and comfortalbe with will be 100% perfect?..if its not..then cylce just repeetas..run..but u cant keep running away from problems..they r apart of life..

Wht r u doing ?
33

Oh, snap, someone's trying to hit below the belt. Yes, my hedonistic, independent, confident yet actually self-absorbed and anxiety-filled self is what has led me into an AWESOME marriage with an AWESOME man.

Sounds like there's much more than just the hint of trouble here, and just because life contains obstacles is no reason to dig your claws in when you're clearly in a miserable and failing situation. Families don't get along, she's embarrassed by him, reports that she's put up with lots of BS over 8 years, etc., etc. This is not a normal, healthy relationship.

34

No matter, I think as some others have said you’re addicted to the drama and attention too much to leave. 30 years down the road you’ll still have the same woes but will take comfort in your role as marriage martyr.

If you’re truly interested in change, check out Strawberry’s example—one girl on GS who was smart enough to know when to call it quits:

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-relationships/332039-i-would-like-thank-everyone-gupshup-their-advice.html

Timepass - September 2013
35

Re: What to do?

When have so many and important doubts, leave quietly.

Follow this rule:

Compromise after marriage not before!

36

Then love him so much that it kills him! :)

8 years! Thnak goodness you aren't married to him. You have the chance to wave goodbye to him right now. If you don't, 10 years later then after marriage, I doubt we will see any change in him. Why does he get so angry all the time? Did he have a bad childhood? Does he get on with his parents esp' his Dad? Does he have friends, out of interest? He needs anger management classes for sure.

Why won't you let him go? You haven't mentioned any special qualities in him. He's putting you down, embarrassing you because of his bad temper which he cannot control, he is so discourteous to your parents and his family doesn't support you during your happiness e.g. your own sister's wedding!

Sorry if my words sound really harsh. Think of it from my point-of-view. It is so maddening to read such threads. You continuously criticize him to such an extent that we all start hating him for what he is doing to you – yet you refuse to leave him! That is the maddening part! Lol!

Be strong and kick him to the curb!

37

For some reason I think you're someone I might know.....though maybe not. :D

38

Re: What to do?

Its not about him at all...you're upset about the 8 years you spent on him and now want to make sure something comes out of all that time.

You dont love him...you shouldnt marry him...if not for your own sake...for his.

39

Hmm, possible but not probable---I'm supremely antisocial.

Unless we're related by marriage in which case I'm in deep doodoo.

My first name begins with a J.

40

Re: What to do?

no not related, maybe from school...the person I know has hte initials KJ...so ur safe i guess :D