what if u're not able to move on???

Lifestyle Relationships
1

hey there!! has there been any situations among any of you wherein you were with a relationship wid sum guy/girl and for some reason it didnt work out.And then you got married to sum1 else ( as in to someone chosen by your parents for you). Were you able to forget the past?Were you able to move on and love your husband from heare and not just because you have to as u have no other choice?
Ppl say that you eventually learn to accept and love your husband…is that true?

2

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

Ugh you know this is one thing that I too wonder about myself day in and day out.... they say time heals the deepest of wounds and whatnot... but I find myself more hung over someone I was and still am very much in love with, with each passing day. Some people give themselves jhooti tassallis or whatever about why it didnt work out or how better off they are without them to move on, but I dont have that and I still dont see how there was a purpose in us being separated.

3

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

hell its been been years since i split with my first love and I still think about her almost everyday.

but its true, time does heal everything. it may not feel like it but slowly it does.

4

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

Well, can't speak from experience, but i have 2 friends that have had this happen to them. That is they were seeing someone, wanted to marry them but for one reason or another it didnt work out for either of them. Devastated they were (didnt happen at the same time tho).

Any how, now they r each happily married. They did think a few what ifs to begin with, but then wholeheartedly gave their all in their marriages and r now more happy than they ever were with their exes.

5

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

its really heartbreaking thing to experience. Although im not experienced in a case like this. But i have seen sum of my frnds whose stories ended up n leaving them in a nowhere place!. It only happens wen u get sumone in ur life who have gone out of the ways for u!....they stand out for u in a crowd of ppl!..n have done things for u wen noone else have everdone!.
B it a frnd or sumone special....wen u lose them...its the hardest thing to bear.

6

Riyaa!!:hugz:

7

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

i suggest you pick between the red and blue pill

8

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

I don't know. I was in love with someone else before I married my husband, but my parents didn't want to wait for him to get his life in order so he could marry me. I didn't really have a choice in marrying my husband. He's better than what I could have gotten, but I still miss my ex to death. 3 years later and I still dream about him often, and wake up in tears. He begged me not to get married half an hour before my nikkah, and even came to me a week after my marriage and begged me to run away with him.

I've been through a lot in my life.. but this is the worse pain ever. I had to cut off all relations with him due to my husband, and every day I wish I could find him and just tell him that I love him and I'm so sorry for hurting him.

I ended up crying just writing this.
He was the only person who ever accepted me, regardless of my faults and my problems, and loved me for who I was.

9

This is one reason why I don't believe that all things happen for a reason.

There is no reason nor rhyme to any of it. It just hurts unimaginably.

10

:hugz:

11

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

I believe it is easier to move on if someone has given you a reason to dislike/hate them. But when it's not that, it becomes very difficult to let go of someone who's close to your heart.

12

Re: what if u’re not able to move on???

And all the time i was reading it like ’ what if u aint able to move in ’ :clown: ma bad :slight_smile:

13

Re: what if u’re not able to move on???

^lol.. i did too but now i realize it’s time to put on glasses while surfing gs :bummer:

Hadsa
14

You’ve just saddened me incredibly :frowning: May you find love and happiness… I can feel your pain… I know the feeling… all the pretty magical things under the sun… all the rainbows in the sky and all the laughter in the world wouldnt be able to hide it… itll never fade away… thats what happens when its dreams of everlasting true love that never materialize to a reality of forever spent together… :hinna:

:hugz:

15

Though, I haven't gone through such a situation in life (Alhamdulillah) so I might not be able to give a better opinion than those who have actually suffered, but I do relate this situation (in a certain way) with any major loss or disaster one might go through in life.

It is a human nature that whenever we are going through a tough time in life, we tend to find the grass greener in our past, and our mind might forget all the hardships that were associated with those times in our past. We feel that our present difficulties are the worst we ever faced, which might not be the case and hence we lead our mind towards pessimistic thinking.

In order to move on, we need to learn two things:

  1. To forgive ourselves and realize that we were not that bad human beings that we decided to separate from our life partner for no genuine reason at all. S/he definitely gave us strong reasons to force us to take such a step. Though that step might not have been the best step we took, but at least it was not the worst step either under the circumstances that were created, for which s/her is also responsible.

  2. All the other potential life partners whom we think could have been better than the ones we left / divorced would look gorgeous and amazing to us because we haven't spent enough time with them to be able to see flaws in their personalities. If a person was very nice, sincere and kind to us in a **very short meeting **doesn't necessarily mean that he would have been the best choice for us, because we didn't get enough time to know him/her completely.

Life is too short, death might be waiting for us in the near future. Every step that we took in the past, whether good or bad, made us more matured, helped in the development of our personality and is now a part of our experience which we can utilize to make our future better, ONLY if we are ready to learn from it and forget the wound it caused to our soul. A diamond in a crude form is only purified after it goes through fire, so that time has now made us a more loving, caring and sincere person who would never take a relationship for granted in the future.

There are people who have suffered through the worst times than we might have seen, but they were able to move on only by thinking " When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the soul smiles for what it has found "

One's new life partner has a right over him/her in every way. As s/he is living with us now and each and every moment he is spending with us, some of the flaws in his personality might look a lot worse then that of our previous potential life partners only because we have been exposed to his activities more than them. If due to negative thoughts something bad happened to our present relationship with him (Allah forbid) then in the future we might be weeping in the same manner for our present relationship the way we have been weeping for our past partners / potential partners.

~*~ Time Pass June 2012 ~*~
16

You made me cry...sigh...

*hugs

17

do bachchay hongay to sub purani shurani mohabbatain bhool jaa'ain gee. Dont worry. :p

18

It is really really hard. Takes a long time. Happened with me recently.

Sawan, Koyal aur Babul
19

Hun you are married now so focus on your husband. I hope and pray that all gets better with time.:)

20

Re: what if u're not able to move on???

People say time heals all wounds but it depends on the individual...whether they want to put the past behind them or not. Its a difficult choice and takes a lot of strength but it is a choice.