I don't know. I was in love with someone else before I married my husband, but my parents didn't want to wait for him to get his life in order so he could marry me. I didn't really have a choice in marrying my husband. He's better than what I could have gotten, but I still miss my ex to death. 3 years later and I still dream about him often, and wake up in tears. He begged me not to get married half an hour before my nikkah, and even came to me a week after my marriage and begged me to run away with him.
I've been through a lot in my life.. but this is the worse pain ever. I had to cut off all relations with him due to my husband, and every day I wish I could find him and just tell him that I love him and I'm so sorry for hurting him.
I ended up crying just writing this.
He was the only person who ever accepted me, regardless of my faults and my problems, and loved me for who I was.
as i was reading this i had tears coming down my cheeks, because it made me realize how much i love my future hubby, and he always ask's me "muj ko chor ke tho nahi jyo gi? (i don't know if i spelled that right) but i would never leave him. but i'm in the same boat, if i marry him i will be hated by my dad, and if i don't marry him, i'll never be happy in my life.....and i would never marry anyone else....godd its soo hard...but inshallah somehow i'm gonna marry him..inshallah inshallah inshallah
but hearing your story you are soo strong to believe in your parents, and to agree with them, and to give another man a chance, believe me your gonna get soo much suwab for this ...inshallah...and maybe you'll be with your true love in heaven!!!! and one more thing everything happens for a reasonn a GOOD reason!!! sorry guyzz for being soo emotional...
^ ok i feel for her but really how does she get more "sawab" for this action?
it is always hard to get over past.. but if one wishes, he/she can either look at the present blessings that Allah has bestowed upon them or they can keep looking at past to fantasize..
after all, iss tarhaan tou hota hai iss tarhaan kay kamoon mein.. kiun udaas phirtay ho, GS kay threadoon mein, iss tarhaan tou hota hai iss tarhaan kay kamoon mein...
Hy reading this thread made me soo sad, but your married now, and if you think about the other guy, then how can you move on with your life or be happy with your husband for three years.
its hard i know, but its the only way of finding happiness with your husband.
I can't speak from experience but I think its stupid to marry someone when you are in love with someone else. If you can't marry the person you love for whatever reason, give yourself time to get over them. Do whatever it takes. And don't get married to someone else and ruin their life. And marry someone you do love or at least can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.
I didn't have a choice. I was given the option of being thrown out of the house or getting married.
I don't believe things happen for a reason. There is no moral justification for what has happened to me in my life. It has destroyed me. Because of my parents treatment of me throughout my life, I will never be able to be truly happy, emotionally stable, or physically healthy. Most days, I wish I were dead.
as i was reading this i had tears coming down my cheeks, because it made me realize how much i love my future hubby, and he always ask's me "muj ko chor ke tho nahi jyo gi? (i don't know if i spelled that right) but i would never leave him. but i'm in the same boat, if i marry him i will be hated by my dad, and if i don't marry him, i'll never be happy in my life.....and i would never marry anyone else....godd its soo hard...but inshallah somehow i'm gonna marry him..inshallah inshallah inshallah
but hearing your story you are soo strong to believe in your parents, and to agree with them, and to give another man a chance, believe me your gonna get soo much suwab for this ...inshallah...and maybe you'll be with your true love in heaven!!!! and one more thing everything happens for a reasonn a GOOD reason!!! sorry guyzz for being soo emotional...
I can't speak from experience but I think its stupid to marry someone when you are in love with someone else. If you can't marry the person you love for whatever reason, give yourself time to get over them. Do whatever it takes. And don't get married to someone else and ruin their life. And marry someone you do love or at least can see yourself spending the rest of your life with.
I know, it's not fair to anyone.
Perhaps if parents and society weren't so stuck in their own ways they'd see the needs of others as valid.
Perhaps if parents and society weren't so stuck in their own ways they'd see the needs of others as valid.
MatineeS!..Life isnt fair....bad things happens in ones life..which leaves u totally wrecked up from inside........v r humans...but we do can try to b strong....open up our minds with positive thinking...life is too short to worry over wat happened in past!...concentrate on what u have now...coz this present will be ur past in future!. I know its very very vey hard to let such things go..the things u wanted most in ur life...n wen ppl turns out against our hopes n dream...but tell me do either anyone of us have any choice left ?....we deserve to stay happy n enjoy life too..so its us who have to change ourselves n try to be happy with positive thinking till it becomes our 2nd nature.Its only us who can get ourselves from this black hole!..We must realize that we are not in control of our destiny. Certain failures and adversity have been designed to teach us certain lessons. We must know that someone else is in control of our past, present and future.I realize that after doing everything humanly possible to make certain things go right, it goes wrong unexpectedly, making me believe that someone else is in control of that situation, not me. Life is not wat v want it to be, its actually us who has to become wat life wants us to be i.e in real wat ALLAH wants us to be.
as i was reading this i had tears coming down my cheeks, because it made me realize how much i love my future hubby, and he always ask's me "muj ko chor ke tho nahi jyo gi? (i don't know if i spelled that right) but i would never leave him. but i'm in the same boat, if i marry him i will be hated by my dad, and if i don't marry him, i'll never be happy in my life.....and i would never marry anyone else....godd its soo hard...but inshallah somehow i'm gonna marry him..inshallah inshallah inshallah
but hearing your story you are soo strong to believe in your parents, and to agree with them, and to give another man a chance, believe me your gonna get soo much suwab for this ...inshallah...and maybe you'll be with your true love in heaven!!!! and one more thing everything happens for a reasonn a GOOD reason!!! sorry guyzz for being soo emotional...
I just wanted to say something here after reading all these posts. **
**I am not sure if many people remember the situation I was in a while ago (recently actually). I had a thread up here on GS about the problem I was going through which was pretty bad. I don't want to go back and remind myself of those days but if anyone is curious please PM me.
Anyway, I was almost torn away from the true love of my life when one day I realized that I just COULD not marry this other guy and destroy his life. In my heart I knew I loved this guy and he was my world and I don't know how but I made it happen and alhamdulliah I could not be happier. I would tell all the girls here to either fight for their happiness but if life and circumstances don't allow you to do so then please gather the courage to move up and walk on. Its tough but it can be done. Life is too short and you are only ruining your mental, physical and well being by letting this consume you. Noone but you will suffer.
Move on girls. Stop pitying yourselves and become a better person from this.
Matinee I think your situation was a little different. I was talking about people who just can't stand up for what they want. But I am sure also that Allah will reward you for your sabr and suffering and when you are in a Jannah please ask for me so maybe I can get to a higher level too :D
guys, pehlay to yeh bataao what do ppl mean by MOVE ON, do you mean totally block your past and feelings and get on wid life or just get on wid life and dont bug the ppl in ur past, khair as far as the main question of this thread goes well i havent still forgotten my EX and i love her a lot but well i got nothing to do with her niether would i let her back in my life, If this is wat moving on means than i have, otherwise jaisee zindagi hai waisay guzaaro khwaama khaan pangay leney kee kya zaroorat hai,
p.s mera pehla pyar and all are all khaali dimaagh key chochlay, keep yourself bzz in work or studies and pray 5 times a day aur yeh saaree khannas bahar nikal jaatee hai aur phir bhi yaad aaye to uss kee achee achee baatein yaad karo aur uss kee khushi kee duayein maango, warna poori zindagi u will b complaining about wat happened in the past and will never enjoy the present or the future.
This is a painful subject to those who have gone through it..
Be it that you were wronged or circumstances! It is painful and there is a strong chance of you wanting to throw the towel in and just lettign whatever happen happen.
I feel that as much as I can trust in ALLAH ji to do the best, I wish that I had never had the opportunity to test my strength/patience...
Niyat ki baat hai at the end of the day.. I pray ALLAH ji forgives us for our wrongs and blesses us with a trusting/sweet soulmate to brings us happiness to others
Moving on means accepting the past, letting go of it and opening yourself up for new opportunities in a healthy manner. At least that what it would mean to me...
Moving on means accepting the past, letting go of it and opening yourself up for new opportunities in a healthy manner. At least that what it would mean to me...
and thats what ppl don do, yet they complain (including maself) :D