I’m not offended. I wish i could share with you what people going through this process share with me almost each day. I will ask some if i could share their messages, maybe then you people will realize what an ill process this whole thing has become. How it has made parents life a living hell when they have daughters sitting at home getting old because either they are not slim enough, tall enough, pretty enough or not belonging to a rich family! And i can understand a very goodlooking or rich guy not approving for such girls cuz ok fair enough everyone wants compatibility in all these things but when even a below average shakal wala, hardly earning 15k-20k/ month guy rejects a girl cuz she aint like a model or not able to give loada of jahez then i want to kill of such people or atleast very rightly show them their aukat by showing them a mirror to what they are and how lucky they would be to even get what they don’t even want to consider.
Not many, of course! But they are still able to get someone who is much better than them.
People are having a hard time understanding this thinking of yours because who are you to say who is better than someone or not?!? What makes YOU the judge of that decision?
My husband has more academic training than me, by your claims that doesn't make me good enough for him? In your books we shouldn't even be married. How does that not sound absurd to you? How would you know anything our lives to make such a claim to tell me who is good for him or not? Oh yeah and he's 6 years older than me too. I was 22 and he was 27. I probably wasn't good enough for him right? I am one of those people who have thrown off this system in your head apparently? What other criteria do you need for me so you can judge me to see if we balance out in your eyes?
People are having a hard time understanding this thinking of yours because who are you to say who is better than someone or not?!? What makes YOU the judge of that decision?
My husband has more academic training than me, by your claims that doesn't make me good enough for him? In your books we shouldn't even be married. How does that not sound absurd to you? How would you know anything our lives to make such a claim to tell me who is good for him or not? Oh yeah and he's 6 years older than me too. I probably wasn't good enough for him right? I am one of those people who have thrown off this system apparently? What other criteria do you need for me so you can judge if we balance out in your eyes?
Repeating same questions is not gonna make your case any stronger! i have already answered these qs. Feel free to read between the lines or decode my words the way you want to. I am not bothered with it :) I said what i had to say and if there r disagreements, great...only proves my point why these things still exist.
please carry on!
But you haven't answered anything except for "because people are having a hard time finding people good enough for them." That isn't an argument. You claim that society is imbalanced. So prove it. Lol I'm curious, feel free to use my case and tell me why I am not good enough for my husband. I gave you the same information/ criteria you keep repeating over and over again that you seem to be using as your base for rishtas. So?
Don't make claims if you can't stand by to prove them. Nobody needs to read between the lines, just spell it out. If you had an argument that wasn't completely absurd you would be able to show us exactly how and why society is affected from the "overweight girl" demanding a skinny husband.
S and S. I never said marrying someone 6 or heck even 10+ years older to you is wrong! But in circumstances where it becomes a demand, then yes that I feel its wrong because it comes with reasons like younger girls r easier to tame. If your husband is more educated then you that is actually a good thing...guys should be more educated ideally because they r the ones who r responsible for the bread and butter! So NO I don't see anything wrong in your case from the info you have provided.
Okay, okay there wasn't any need for Op to get so heated about this anyway.
That's not really what you were saying before that's why I asked with my example. Just to put it into your context. Like I said before, I get what you mean but your using the wrong examples as the basis for your argument why people shouldn't have demands. Someone asking for a young bahu so they can tame her is very different from someone asking for a young girl because the guy prefers it. Just saying.
Okay, okay there wasn't any need for Op to get so heated about this anyway.
That's not really what you were saying before that's why I asked with my example. Just to put it into your context. Like I said before, I get what you mean but your using the wrong examples as the basis for your argument why people shouldn't have demands. Someone asking for a young bahu so they can tame her is very different from someone asking for a young girl because the guy prefers it. Just saying.
That is what i have been saying all through! Why would i change my stance now? I stand by all that i have said in this topic.
I never got heated up, just dont see the point in this useless discussion where i have had to explain myself 10 times without the other side wanting to even understand where all this criticism is coming from.
People were trying I think by asking you questions. Personally you just weren't convincing me of your claims outside of your personal biases because you weren't backing up your stance. You are making generalizations based on the cases around you which in my opinion don't represent all of society like you were saying.
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