Mamzie, you have a good point from where I'm looking at it.
People are sometimes very unreasonable and very unfair when seeking a match via some sort of matchmaking tool. At times we itch to give them a piece of our mind and I think that's what you meant? But when in client-centred environment, you may end up in a position that's least likely to be suitable for such expressiveness. But how nice would it be if we could all just say what we felt and had sensibility and patience to hear others too!
On dating sites obese women the size of a small car want no less than tall, lean, fit looking guys.
How do I show them their aukaat?
To which you answered:
Well they are wrong too! Like I said earlier, the society has become unrealistic hence all these rishta issues.
So it's unrealistic for an overweight person to marry a skinny/fit person??? Seriously???
Wow.
Thank god there are people in this world that look past physical appearance and are more interested in personality and compatibility.
[/QUOTE]
Too bad the obese women couldn't look past physical appearance when demanding a lean fit looking guy !
Sounds like an ugly dorky guy who complains why all the hot girls are so shallow and cant value him for his personality while he himself is uninterested in girls who are his equals in looks.
Yes, it is hypocritical on some level. But at the end of the day what matters is whether they can have their demands met or not. And that depends on market forces: Obese women on dating sites get dates left and right, while obese men live the lives of sad lonely celibate losers.
Thank god there are people in this world that look past physical appearance and are more interested in personality and compatibility.
No wonder all those beautiful 20 year old women marry rich old men because they are interested in their personality, the way they drool in their bathrobes, those sexy dentures, it has nothing to do with the fortune they will get after a few years of holding the puke in, taking a few like a champ. You are right, thank God for people who look past physical appearance or we would have taxi drivers, roofers, blue collar workers with hot wives.
People who aren't shallow, I may not believe they exist, deep down even you may not believe they exist, but by God it's a useful hypocrisy.
Not read the whole thread but Mamzie made a straightforward point, which is spot on. Not sure why it has prompted so much debate to be honest.
There are guys, and girls, with lists of requirements a mile long, despite not having much to offer themselves. These people need to buckle down and be realistic. I believe that is what the OP is getting at.
Mamzie, it's not your point of view or comments on the ills of desi society that people are debating, it's the notion you put forth that people should stay in their aukhat, like how dare someone want a match/alliance with someone who is better looking, richer, higher socio-economic class, more educated etc...it just sounds like you're perpetrating the behaviors you are against.
A match maker shouldn't be in the game to tell a perspective bride or groom that they don't deserve someone else.
I know plenty of families that insist on staying in a joint family arrangement with their sons and bahus, but for their own daughters purposely seek out rishtas where there are not responsibilities with inlaws...it's very hypocritical, but I would never presume to tell them to stay in their aukhat...they are free to be as choosy as they please...the fact that it's hard to find matches and daughters are still single is proof enough that their logic is flawed.
Sure, it’s fine to frown at the double standards people might have or when they demand a lot but have little to give in return. However, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business to tell them what they can or can’t expect. As khattichic pointed out, the market will take care of that itself so I don’t see any point in getting worked up over it.
I always thought the job of the matchmaker is just to facilitate the introduction of two families/persons, take his/her fee and then au revoir. But today I learned something new!