Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
^ Not at work please. Stay home if you're gonna go commando.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
I wont blame Muzna. It will take someone special to understand Nadz logic.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
Thanks people.
I put up certain threads to see a reaction. if the reaction is that nadz you are wrong in abcd, atleast i know where i am. sometimes i react differently to how i SHOULD react. so now i guess mil may have had a point with the underwear issue. yet i also know shes a drama queen and its been reinforced by guppies. atleast i know im not totally paranoid and making it all up.
secondly, its not about doing the work urself. life in pakistan isnt the same as the west. I lived alone with husband before kids, for around a year before we moved back to parents. in that year i did everything. myself. of course i would have.
however here, you get paid help, to do almost everything. so if shes being paid to do it, why should i do it just because i can.
im sure david beckham etc all can clean their own underwear, yet im sure they get someone/ or whatever to do everything, and literally everything FOR THEM despite them having 2 arms and 2 legs and could have done it themselves. these people are PAID to do it and if they dnt wana be called naukar and prefer employee…then act like a bloody employee, who pretty much does whatever employer asks. its pART OF THE JOB. cleaning underwear? i know plnty of kaamwalis who do.
and yes, i appreciate the advice. although many replies seem to go off tangent and just insult me. thanks. :k:
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
okay !! so the thread can be closed now,right ??
Its their job to clean. They get paid for it so they need to give up the nakhra
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
they make your phun. did not mean offend you. most of them are in worst condition than yours. but they dont have *botha *like you to post issues over here. 
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
Wow, with thinking like this you really want people to believe that you are some educated woman were born and raised in a Western country who cherishes its world class employee rights? Normal people who have worked in their lives can tell you that no, you do NOT do everything and anything that boss asks you to! You are talking exploitation now which should not have any place at any work place.
Dude if you really wanna treat her like an employee instead a of naukar, then get this thing drilled into your head, an employee is free and has every right to put its conditions forward however its up to the owner to decide whether he still wants that employee despite the conditions the she has put down on the table! Looks like the employer of this employee is perfectly fine with her condition to not wash your orany female’s dirty undies and its been like that since past 12 or more years. So I see no breech of contract here in fact it very much looks like a part of a contract. So whats the issue? Pakistani ‘employee’ should have no voice?
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
Exactly
I once asked our kaamwali to do something and not only that she slapped me but told my parents. That ungrateful witch 
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
Wow, with thinking like this you really want people to believe that you are some educated woman were born and raised in a Western country who cherishes its world class employee rights?
Dude if you really wanna treat her like an employee instead a of naukar, then get this thing drilled into your head, an employee is free and has every right to put its conditions forward however its upto the owner to decide whether he still wants that employee despite the conditions the he has put forward! Looks like the employer of this employee is perfectly fine with her condition to not wash your any females dirty undies and its been like that since past 12 years. So I see no breech of contract here in fact it very much looks like a part of a contract.
listen. sigh
SHE has plenty of RIGHTS. she can do whatever she PLEASES. washing or not washing underwear isnt the ONLY THING she DOESNT WANT TO DO.
She will clean when she wants, iron when she wants, she also irons whatever she WANTS. give her a purple suit, she wants to iron the BLUE ONE. why....? no reason.She will take time off when she wants, not asking CAN I TAKE 3 DAYS OFF ETC, nooo, she just goes offfff, and says im going see yas later....` and mil cant even ask her when she will be back.....
etc
etc
the list goes on. she also doesnty wash the clothes properly, still have lots of dirt on them, same with the dishes, still dirty. yet MIL LOVES HER. why? because she hasnt STOLEN anything yet. so great.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
If anybody suggests that you are making things up Nadz…I’d be the first to tell them where to go with their opinion. We know that you are not lying.
you do get your own digs in too though my friend…so it’s all good.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
ufff. i think you knew what i meant TLK.
When an employee, given lots of overtime work, unpaid work, or work thats not in your exact job descrip, doesnt make you NOT DO THEM does it.
i used towork at a multinational bank, once upon a time…sigh…, anyway, and my job description did not come with making tea,…however i was asked to make the tea several times because the juniour they had, had been sacked or whatever. so the new girl, and at only 19, they decided to double up my job but with same pay. did i go running to the hills and screaming nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and throwing a hussy fit. NOPE. i did it. and did it for a year.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
listen. sigh
SHE has plenty of RIGHTS. she can do whatever she PLEASES. washing or not washing underwear isnt the ONLY THING she DOESNT WANT TO DO.
She will clean when she wants, iron when she wants, she also irons whatever she WANTS. give her a purple suit, she wants to iron the BLUE ONE. why....? no reason.She will take time off when she wants, not asking CAN I TAKE 3 DAYS OFF ETC, nooo, she just goes offfff, and says im going see yas later....` and mil cant even ask her when she will be back..... etc etc
the list goes on. she also doesnty wash the clothes properly, still have lots of dirt on them, same with the dishes, still dirty. yet MIL LOVES HER. why? because she hasnt STOLEN anything yet. so great.
Okay thats bad and I can't say anthing other than put her on a warning and let her now she's being monitered but I don't think this is an option in your household.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
ufff. i think you knew what i meant TLK.
When an employee, given lots of overtime work, unpaid work, or work thats not in your exact job descrip, doesnt make you NOT DO THEM does it.
i used towork at a multinational bank, once upon a time..................sigh..., anyway, and my job description did not come with making tea,....however i was asked to make the tea several times because the juniour they had, had been sacked or whatever. so the new girl, and at only 19, they decided to double up my job but with same pay. did i go running to the hills and screaming nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii and throwing a hussy fit. NOPE. i did it. and did it for a year.
Sorry that what you chose to do and its not like how things should be done. I also know a young employee who directly wrote to a senior manager saying how the section managers don't give him his due breaks or they cut time off and make him to do all the unnecessary tasks. We have lotmore rights and opportunities than we think.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
put her on a warning??/
OMG, i just laughed out loud. My mil will literally scrape my eyes out if i even ask the kaamwali to stop burning the rotis....yes, she literally burns them, but can we complain?? my husband once told her to wash the shirts properly because the collar was still dirty......what does kaamwali do? runs off and is mooody all day and DOESNT do any work that day.
what does mil say? ohuuu beta to why did u upset her, see now she wont make the rotis....`....
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
Sorry that what you chose to do and its not like how things should be done. I also know a young employee who directly wrote to a senior manager saying how the section managers don't give him his due breaks or they cut time off and make him to do all the unnecessary tasks. We have lotmore rights and opportunities than we think.
yeah i know man, but hey it was my first job and i was in awe of everything. I was very lucky to have got that job at that age, and the wages were good. plus i just wanted it on my cv really. my parents were proud....so all in all, i thought ....making tea actually gives me 20 mins to do nothing.....its like another break. anyway after a year, i left for another job where i didnt take any crap. so all good.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
You know Nadz, you should tell your husband to fire the kaam-waali and hire you to do her job instead. You'll get paid (woohoo) and you can pick and choose what tasks you want to do, when you want to work, cook to your own preferences (hello burnt rotis) and be a favourite of your MIL's.
It's a win-win situation!
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
however here, you get paid help, to do almost everything. so if shes being paid to do it, why should i do it just because i can.
Nadz, I agree with you that if you're hiring a maid, then you have every right to tell her exactly what work you expect her to do. If the maid doesn't like it, she can quit.
BUT you don't seem to understand one big issue here...YOU did not get paid help. You did not hire the maid, you do not pay her salary, and you do not have any authority to fire her. So your opinion of what chores she should do, and how she should do them is really of no concern to her. Nor should it be. The "kaamwali" is intelligent enough to understand that the ONLY person she needs to please is your MIL....the person who pays her salary and the ONLY person with the power to fire her.
When YOU actually get paid help yourself.....then you can sit back and let YOUR help know that you expect her to do everything.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, ....
i am sure she also knows that you are not on good terms with your mil, you dont have much control over the situation. this just adds to her favor.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
Yet…is the key word here. You know what you have to do now my friend. That’s right…drop your underwear into the maid’s purse when she’s not looking. And to make the “theft” even more scandalous…make sure that the underwear is dirty. 
Cheer up, Nadzy. You’ll soon be moving back to England and things will be better. Undergarments aside…the maid is doing a poor job with washing the clothes, so consider doing your own laundry. It may alleviate the tension. Hopefully…fingers crossed.
Re: so the **** hit the fan, …
This thread is like the disco that never closes. even at 4 am a new mithun Chakraborti shows up and zabardast dens maar deyta hai 