so my mil walks into my room and tells my husband she wants to discuss me, with him as well. she starts venting about how i shouldnt give the kaamwali my undergarments to wash as its disgusting and the kaamwali apparentlydid mil`s besti about this, and said she wont wash it and why cant you samjhaa your bahu.,.
mil was angry, she waited for husban d to be in room and decided to talk to both of us about this. she then started doing a big crying scene when she saw how my husband didnt think it was a big deal and why was the kaamwali making a big fuss and why cant the kaamwali come and tell ME this why does she always tell mil.
mil began crying, she said im not ur naukar ( shes never ever done anything for me, dnt know whhy she thinks i think shes a naukar), how i should say sorry to her for her embarrassment at the hands of the kaamwali and that ive never apolgised to her about how sharmindaaa she has been made to feel.
alsi she indirectly said its against OUR VALUES about the whole underwear thing. how people chup chup ke khudi saaf karke they dont give to the naukar to clean.
in my defence i told her - they were clean - not dirty, i WASHED THEM ALREADY but i wanted them to be spun in the wahsing machine too…she didnt need to CLEAN HERSELF. mil didnt bveleive me. she never does. and then she mentioned the bedsheet once had blood on it - I TOLD HER, it was the panadol for infants, in pakistan, its a red colour. it went on the bedsheet because my 6month old spilled some. kamwali thinks its blood and decided to make a big hoo haa.
anyway mil cried and cried…venting and shouting and then walked off.
husband took my side, which made her cry even more.
i dont udnerstand the issue. can someone tell me whats going on is this a big deal??
does anyone else in pak feel underwear is a big deal for the naukar…i mean they clean the mens underwear no issue.
is it a big deal?? seriously.? theres wasnt anything on the underwear, they were not dirty, yes i can understand had it been covered in dirt/etc but it wasnt.
and mil LOVES the kaamwali, the flipn woman is head of house this kaamwali,. why? because kaamwali are hard to find and she does her job, says mil.
is it a big deal?? seriously.? theres wasnt anything on the underwear, they were not dirty, yes i can understand had it been covered in dirt/etc but it wasnt.
and mil LOVES the kaamwali, the flipn woman is head of house this kaamwali,. why? because kaamwali are hard to find and she does her job, says mil.
I would say its a big deal. Especially, the supposed blood thing. You probably should have told her its medicine however, you shouldnt need to.People are in pakistan are prude. Especially the lower social class from which the kaam waali hails from.
I can also understand the whole " good help is hard to find" thing. Its pretty common which I found on my last visit.
Confront her directly. At least that way she wont go crying to you MIL next time. And she will know you have a voice of your own!
Masis' here do make issue of such things. But when you did explain the things to your MIL, I dont see any reason she should still overact. You did mention somewhere she used to work which means she is a literate woman. Parh likh ke ganwa dete hain aise log!
husband told me dont bother saying anything to the kaamwali yet. wait if something else happens then say something. why?because mil loves her to bits. and pieces. she doesnt want to upset her at any cost.
im glad this happened in front of husband. atleast he can see it now himself how his mum overreacts about things to me.
Nadz, just wondering how do you treat the worker (kaam wali) otherwise? Frequent use of word "nauker" by you does not leave a good taste so I was just curious. I am hoping you are not the one of those who think that they own these workers, are you?
^Yeah, not a fan of calling the workers "kaam wali" or "naukar" etc.
And your MIL is such a drama queen. SHE CRIED, LOL! Uff. Anyways, I can understand some desi women think period blood is the most vile and disgusting filth known to mankind (it really isn't) and can feel insulted if given it to wash or ever find it visible on anything. However, if it had been washed already and you had just asked for a rinse then clearly they are both being ridiculous or somehow your panties were still stained and your ghar ki helper put the sheet stain and panties stain together and assumed you gave her your filthy panties to wash.
Either way, I would be livid that your MIL + the helper made such a huge deal about it and felt the need to involve the husband. Clearly your MIL strives off making you look horrible in front of him. So annoying.
Lol
What a flipping drama queen she is!! How did you ever agree to marrying someone from
That kind of family? Girls a lesson... Please please don't go all goo gaa and think what life will be like 4/5 years ahead .. Be streetwise
Nadz, just wondering how do you treat the worker (kaam wali) otherwise? Frequent use of word "nauker" by you does not leave a good taste so I was just curious. I am hoping you are not the one of those who think that they own these workers, are you?
trying hard to flip the drama?.... so how do you refer your kaamwalis infront of thrid person? like "khaala? Maasii? Chachii?? etc. ....
..... Congrats Nadz...finally very less bashing you in this thread... so far...;-)
My inlaws kaamwaliyan never made a fuss about things like this. They’d wash anything I gave them yes, under garments too. I don’t see what the big deal is. That’s what they’re paid for.
About you MIL, maybe she’s going through menopause? She seriously sounds very emotional and dramatic …
trying hard to flip the drama?.... so how do you refer your kaamwalis infront of thrid person? like "khaala? Maasii? Chachii?? etc. ....
..... Congrats Nadz...finally very less bashing you in this thread... so far...;-)
I am not Nadz's saas so no, I am not looking to flip the drama. It was a genuine question and yes, I'd call her Masi instead of "Nauker" any given day.
Remember you can call your sibling "merey baap ka beta" or "my brother". Both are right but 1st one leaves the bad taste.
yes, under garments too. I don’t see what the big deal is. That’s what they’re paid for.