Wow you clearly have no idea about history. Do you know farming is one of the earliest profession and still is the only source of income for majority of third world residents in Asia?
What history are you talking about and what particular area are you referring to?
Go to any village and find out how many women are staying at home raising kids. Almost all of them work besides their husband in the farms and raise cattle. Some work in factories or as domestic servents (maasis, maids). How may poor women are staying at home? Middle class women are NOT the majority in pakistan.
Yeah so both parents need to spend quality time with their kids. Fathers need to stop sleeping in on weekends and not staying at work so late that they are missing out on spending time with kids. Both are responsible for providing love and care, not JUST the mother.
It's not because I am female, it's because I am the eldest and was very attached to her. My mom was very ill for few years so I had to take care of the little one and she grew up more attached to me.
My uncle stays home more than his wife can because shes a doctor and his own job isn't that time consuming so his kids are alot more attached to him. They are closer to him and miss him more when he's away. Like he came to pakistan for 2 weeks and his kids were always calling him and crying on the phone! But his wife goes out of town too and they never cry for her. Kids aren't attached to a female necessarily, just depends on whos around more and has developed a bond of love and trust.
Depends on his maturity level. My brother used to babysit my younger siblings all the time. My fiance sometimes babysits his nieces and nephews when he's around.
What kind of a sexist question is this?
tammy, i would have issues with a guy looking after my kid... btu thats me.
I'd rather see my man contribute to the household and run it, rather than be the pansy whose daddy takes care of all the bills. That's sorta irresponsible. Let his parents pay bills while he buys video games? Uh...
Who the heck wants to be in a situation where husband gets to go out with his friends because his mom lets him, while his wife is made to sit at home?? You dont know what he's doing out there, and how does that make him a MAN? That's still being a KID.
Obviously only applicable to the guys but nonetheless still advantages to him. There are plenty of losers in the UK who live this way and their parents (esp mothers) are also happy with the arrangement.. Sad but true..
Just to make it clear the Islamic perspective on living with inlaws, I came across this whilst looking up something else:
‘Studies show that parental and in-laws intervention have a devastating affect on a marriage. In-law problems rank 1st or 2nd as problems both in newly wed and long term marriages. Advice is one thing; actively intervening in the affairs of the new family is another. And active intervention is totally wrong! If you live in a two floor house, then one floor should be for you and the other should be for your mother in law. I have seen in some houses where the parents live upstairs and the newly wed live downstairs and have their own kitchen. If you live in a two floor house and they can not be divided for whatever reasons, then at least, you should have your own kitchen if possible. A scholar says that all the fires in the house start from the cooking stove. Isn’t it so annoying when you want to prepare something for your husband and the mother in law comes and says that no don’t do it this way but do it that way? Or the sister in law comes and starts meddling?.. SIGH….. Sister……. I feel for you. If you live in an apartment, and the problem still persists then it should be explained to your husband that he should kindly send her mother to stay with her other sons for a number of months. I have seen that happen where the parents stay at the various children’s houses.’
And yet some ppl strangely keep pushing the idea that living out of hubby’s bedroom in the inlaws house even at the beginning of marriage is somehow desirable in Islam..
what is the hue and cry about parents not being able to spend time with their kids?
after a kid is 4-5 and starts going to school, how exactly is a stay at home parent going to spend time with the kid? the kid aint there..will come back in the afternoon, parents come home afternoon as well.
OK.This assumes all kids are 4-5 years old or older at the same time! There may be younger child than 4-5 years old at home.
then people will say but the workign mother arrives home tired because she works so hard, but then they are the same people who will say a homemaker works just as hard as a professional, which would then mean a homemaker is just as tired when kids come home as the professional.
^ kids under 4-5 need proper stimulation.. they need activities to help them grow help them find their strenghts. Sitting at home, watching their mum do housework aint really teaching them much...
^ kids under 4-5 need proper stimulation.. they need activities to help them grow help them find their strenghts. Sitting at home, watching their mum do housework aint really teaching them much...
Hummm...so you mean woman working at home has no interaction with the child and the child just watches the mother do house chores? That's it?
I thought there was no need to do all these calculations n reasoning to be with family :(. Unfortunately this is what people have become. Very Sad.
And before people jump at me saying oh why shud we live with hubby's parents, why cnt the hubby live with our parents...blah blah. Well that's cuz that's the way it was always suppose to be, this is the way it works out better. So LIVE WITH IT :D
living close to inlaws has benefits, children getto see grandparents more and develop a better bond, You have trusted people who kids can hang with so u can have some couple time without worrying about babysitter background checks etc.
then having elders around for eid and ramadan means something else. and lastly, the fact that you are more able to be of their assistance in even small things is a sawab.
I would want to live with my hubby only in the beginning for at least a few years. But I would never MIND having his parents around. Some men really are touchy about how their wives treat his parents.
and secondly, even though in Islam, there is no compulsion to actually take care of in laws, but for a better society I think the benefits do outweigh the problems.
*And most importantly, do you want to imagine your ownself say 40 years from now, living all alone in an apartment or been thrown away in some miserable old home? with your grandchildren telling you *
*'mom says, you are too much of a nuisance to look after when you are around' *
:)
This time would come on us too. We would see how much would we crave for independence and privacy THEN when we would actually have ample amount of it :p'
SO my point. A little trouble in the beginning can save a lifetime of troubles later, esp during your frail years !
I would want to live with my hubby only in the beginning for at least a few years. But I would never MIND having his parents around. Some men really are touchy about how their wives treat his parents.
and secondly, even though in Islam, there is no compulsion to actually take care of in laws, but for a better society I think the benefits do outweigh the problems.
*And most importantly, do you want to imagine your ownself say 40 years from now, living all alone in an apartment or been thrown away in some miserable old home? with your grandchildren telling you *
*'mom says, you are too much of a nuisance to look after when you are around' *
:)
This time would come on us too. We would see how much would we crave for independence and privacy THEN when we would actually have ample amount of it :p'
SO my point. A little trouble in the beginning can save a lifetime of troubles later, esp during your frail years !
So no one would like to hire a man for babysitting..............?
I already mentioned I wouldn't mind a guy babysitting as long as he's mature enough. My fiance babysits his nieces and nephews whenever he is around. My brother used to babysit our younger siblings. I have never heard from from anyone that a man can't babysit.
If God intended men and women to perform same roles in society, HE would not have bothered with two genders.
If God intended women to stay at home, he wouldn't have made them capable of working and blessed them with intellect. But as it turns out, women are equally capable of working and earning.
I already mentioned I wouldn't mind a guy babysitting as long as he's mature enough. My fiance babysits his nieces and nephews whenever he is around. My brother used to babysit our younger siblings. I have never heard from from anyone that a man can't babysit. .
Sorry I missed that. The question was hiring a male as opposed to female.
While the presence of a a male would be unacceptable by husband for obvious reason, a young male boy will still be turned down for this kind of work more often than ANY female.
If God intended women to stay at home, he wouldn't have made them capable of working and blessed them with intellect. But as it turns out, women are equally capable of working and earning.
For a logical answer: Just because a knife can kill someone, that is not what it should be used! :)
Sorry I missed that. The question was hiring a male as opposed to female.
While the presence of a a male would be unacceptable by husband for obvious reason, a young male boy will still be turned down for this kind of work more often than ANY female.
To be honest, if the guy seems mature I wouldn't have a problem in hiring him as a babysitter. I would only hire a babysitter that I personally know, either a guy or a girl. Gender isn't important, maturity and responsibility is.
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For a logical answer: Just because a knife can kill someone, that is not what it should be used! :)
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Theres no "logical" answer to this. It's all gender stereotyping that people are so accustomed to.
It all depends on the kind of relationship you have with them.
just to expand on the relationship part for others reading,
thats a little passive, we dont 'have' a relationship we 'build and 'maintain' a relationship. yes we only have control on 50% of the relationship, but its not just handed to us as a static predetermined situation which we dont have an impact on.