^ no doubt, fathers need to play an active role too in the child's upbringing and in an ideal world both will have the quality and quantity time to spend with the kids but unfortunately in the real world, compromises need to be reached and roles need to be appointed to run a home smoothly, if it becomes a battle of the egos than the kids suffer.
Both parents are responsible for spending quality time with their kids. Not just the mother. Thats my opinion, maybe the desi culture doesn't agree with that.
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if the husband has taken up the role of the main breadwinner of the family and there are no financial constraints than its ideal for the wife to take up the vacuum left at home to be with the kids. a child only gets to spend what 3 or 4 yrs of his life at home, before schooling starts at which point the mother can go back to work full time. yes it does require a bigger sacrifice from the woman, but then thats the reason a mother's role is superceded by that of the father in most cultures and religions. is there denying the importance of the mother/child unique bond in the first few crucial developmental yrs of a child's life?
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I am not denying that at all. But for the child's better future, many times the mother has to work to earn more to provide better housing, shelter, and higher education for her kids. Not all men are millionaires, are they?
What about men who lose their jobs, we hear about massive layoffs all the time. Isn't it a good idea that the woman also has a stable career so that she can keep providing for her kids even if her husband is jobless?
So many times a husband doesn't earn enough and can't afford to send kids to good schools, but if there are 2 incomes, the child can have better education and quality of life.
I know plenty of women who work fulltime but their husbands are very supportive and take care of kids whenever the wife isn't around. My aunt is a doctor and she is on call all the time. Her husband comes early from work sometimes when his wife isn't around to take care of kids and doesn't feel bad about having to change diapers or doing the laundry. Most desi fathers never even think of changing diapers, doing laundry, or cooking and think it's just a womans job.
True in ideal sense.
But... Men's role since the beginning of time has been to be the bread winner, even the hardliner feminists would agree with that.
False. What history are you reading?
Women have also been breadwinnrs in many society, including south asian society. Have you ever been to rural pakistan? Do you know that women work JUST as hard as men in the farms and help raise cattle and do manual labor just like their husbands do? Only middle class and upper middle class women have the luxury of not being the breadwinner and they are NOT the majority in pakistan where 70% of the entire population is actually residing in rural areas.
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Besides, children (young) crave mothers more than fathers. Not to say father just work, sleep, golf, goes out to play cards etc.
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Children crave whoever has bonded with them through childhood, sometimes thats even an older sibling instead of parent. If I didn't have a mother and it was just my father who raised me, I would feel more attached to him.
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Here is something.
As young children both girls and boys look up to mother.
Growing older the boy looks up to father and girl looks up to her mother.
So one can say it depends on the family structure also.
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Any evidence to back up your claim? Please don't post things as facts when you really have no hardcore evidence.
The reason why kids look up to mother is because shes been with them since their earliest memory and the unconditional love she provides. My youngest sibling was more attached to me than my mom because I used to carry her around all the time, change diapers, give her baths, and buy her things. When I moved out, she was very disturbed because she was always clinging on to me. I am not her mother but she was just so attached.
If my father was always at home, taking care of his kids, they would be more attached to him. Thats how it works.
