Re: Second Marriage?
MY MOM SAYS HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR DAD DID THE SAME THING TO YOUR MOM OR YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW DID THE SAME TO YOUR SISTER?
Yoo say my hallaa to ya're mom. Tell her xtron likes to wish her peace.
Re: Second Marriage?
Yoo say my hallaa to ya're mom. Tell her xtron likes to wish her peace.
thanks... I convey your salam to her...
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With all the bashing LTL is getting, this makes sense and lot of sense. What if we can help him to avoid this instead of putting him in the corner. PCG, don't you think he will get hardend, we end up hurting his wife as well. We all have issues when we marry, those issues can be solved, I have never met any family with dual wives happy.
LTL, if you like your first wife one bit, and you are promising that you will take-care her anyway you can, DO your SON a favor, before you marry this second woman, please sit down with your wife and talk to her, find a therapist and take her there, if she didn't cry when her bro died, there is bigger problem then you are telling us. At this point we only know your side of story, there must be something very big in her head and she is scared of you and don't wanna open up.
If you are looking for love, you are making a wrong turn, you will be torn and never have any peace and you will make lives of both women, your son and future kids life hell.
LTL, I really beg you, before you go for second wife, talk to your first wife, or see if both of you can meetup with RV.. but not PCG, wo sar par dey dee lahori saab da, j/k RV..but YES therapist a must.
PS: Fakhra Younus who committed suicide, her ex husband is living with his fifth wife, I really want to hang that M...if you marry 2nd one, is there a stop than..?
You underestimate my wrath. If I ever meet him, I'm tearing off his ding-a-ling.
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I dont care. Don't erase what I said. I'll take infarction points any day. He better WAKE UP in the morning to that STATEMENT OF MINE.
I love how bombshell went to her mom and her mother is conveying her recommendations to the OP.
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Hmmm, I know some people mock the idea of people seeking advice on GS....but you know never know....our posts might (even the harsher ones) have impacted someone in a profound way...in a way that helps/saves them and others in the long run. At least several people take the time to post seriously here. I haven't many forums (desi or otherwise) with a greater sense of cohesiveness.
Re: Second Marriage?
RV, this is scum of scum. This is despicable. This is a mockery of Islam. This is a mockery of our culture. Yes, poor everyone who gets married too early, but then when sensible people like me say, well why dont you guys get your education, do your exploring and then get married, everyone gets in ARMS about how anything over than 25 is too darn old. I'm TWENTY NINE. I'm TOO OLD. Well guess what? This is what I keep yapping about, and no one listens. Our desi habits of getting kids married too young is UNHEALTHY. This is what happens. You expect a 20 yr old guy to actually adhere to his marriage? Sure, some guys might, but this guy, if he's not some troll (I hope he is), is a perfect example. It's hard to be in a committed relationship so early on, and we all get that (or we should, minus the aunty brigade around here who watches dramas all day and thinks a proper woman should be married by 25), but then guess what....
DONT GET MARRIED SO YOUNG!
He didn't wanna be in the marriage. He felt forced.
Well, dont tell me you didn't have a head on your shoulders at that time, you could easily have said no.
This woman is going through the same thing you're going through, and if she is stifling TEARS in the middle of the night, it's because she looks at you, and knows that you're not returning her love? Solution? LOVE HER. Suck it up. You had sex with her right? You sleep in the same bed as her right? You take care of her and she takes care of you? So you know what you have to WILLINGLY add to this? YOUR LOVE.
And that involves you not frolicking around with some random woman in another city.
How AWFUL. You basically already cheated on this woman. I dont care if you've had relations with the Russian lady, you've already broken Islamic laws by emotionally connecting with another woman while you're married - that's cheating. Your not even supposed to LOOK at na-mehram women, so the hell are you hanging out with her?
Oh my lord. This woman is so in love with you. She is your wife. She is a piece of your soul, and until you REALIZE that, you're not trapped in a loveless marriage, you're in a marriage that you're not offering your love to, out of your own WILL.
You could love her. You could try very hard and love her, and you'd find you'd love her. But your own soul hasn't been willing to do that since day 1 of the wedding, you just didn't have the guts until now to try and break away. Thanks for doing that after you've had a baby.
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^PCG, I'm not justifying his views. I also sympathize with the wife, we all do. The possibility of him being a troll has crossed my mind as well. But if he isn't a troll (and it would be better if he is).....rather than stir up a confused person's anger/ego so that end up making rash decisions or inducing ONLY the feeling of guilt......another option is to try and help them make sense of the situation/have a better understanding of it.
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Russian chicks are hwwwt
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^LMAO…Oh man, comic relief from STA. 
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LTL: You enjoyed and made babies and now you see educated, beautiful, young and working Russain Muslim. What was your priorities few years ago?
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You say you were forced into a loveless marriage...and now you care for your wife. You have a son who doesn't see you for six months out of the year. A wife who's entire life revolves around you. A woman who also was married into that same loveless marriage you're in. A woman who has stood by your side while you fell in love with another woman.
I don't know why but I feel sorry for you OP. I feel sorry for you because you've got a lot going for you...a good job, a wife who loves you, a child. A blessing. A family. And then I see you taking your blessings and throwing them away. Yet you have no idea you're doing this. The saddest thing in the world is seeing people not care for what Allah swt gives them.
Who says marriages don't go through trials and tribulations? Is there any couple on this forum who doesn't have marital issues of their own? Things they could work on? Do all the men go and fall in love with someone else or do they work on those problems because anything worth having is worth fighting for...isn't it?
You're not there six months out of the year so that exempts you from being there at least six months out of the year? She bottles up her emotions so that means you find someone else to talk to?
I understand you may not be in love with her...but I don't think you've given your family what you owe them. You haven't tried to make things work...you're whining.
You have every right to marry again but along with rights come responsibilities. Allah swt doesn't just let you marry again and again with no regard for the outcome. If she cries and you're responsible for her pain...you will be held accountable for it. If she or her son suffer because of your new marriage...you will be held accountable for it. If you are not able to give her the same love, time and financial support you give your other wife...you will be held accountable and so on.
Re: Second Marriage?
I almost get the feeling the OP views his marriage as a favor to his wife.
He was married to her to help her family out of a bad situation.
So now she owes him.
And this is how he will get even.
Women are sensitive creatures, and if you say you care about her and never loved her, I'm pretty sure she lived with you knowing and feeling that and still gave you everything she couls. It honestly isn't fair to her but just have the courtesy to tell her the truth. I feel for her.
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What I don't understand that when a guy does not love his wife why he makes a baby with her ? This only shows 1 thing that if a guy is not even capable of loving his own child how can be capable of loving a wife .
I feel really sorry for OP's wife and son they will get saza for na kardha gunnah !
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Humsafar part 2
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I met a muslim girl in Moscow whom I fell in love with, she works for the same company I do and we have a good relationship
HEY OP.
I am glad that you’re having a great relationship with the Russian chick ;) ;) ;) ... I pray for your wife that may she gets a better husband than you in future. Don’t you dare keeping them both as your wives because your mind should feel the torture by imaging another HOT MAN with your wife. Let us know if she has the courage to slap you when you break the news. Any girl can feel her pain when she will burst into tears by not accepting the reality. I can tell you for sure that your wife is in love with you.
Don’t forget Allah is watching you. Have a nice time in hell with this Russian chick!!! LOL…. Your wife should be the one kicking you out of her life!!!
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I've told her all my thoughts, she doesn't open up, it's like the opposite of battered wife syndrome, I try and tell her the faults and mistakes we've made in connecting emotionally, she just ends the conversation with "well I love you now and that's all that matters..." ffs I tried to get her to not bottle up her emotions, when her brother died she barely showed any emotion at all, I cried for three days straight when I heard the news, she didn't even sob, she just stayed in emotional shock.
Have you really cried for three days?. LIKE WE BELIEVE YOU :p... People do hurt without tears. Your reasoning makes an indication of unwillingness to have an emotional bonding with your wife .You have no morals! You dont know how much Allah has blessed you. I would suggest you to get married to the Russian girl. I wish she finds someone better than you in 3 years, starts an affair with him, leaves you for him. Now, that's what I call karma.
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^Are u 100% sure that they had sex? Cuz if you think what the op is doing is wrong, it's also wrong to make such.accusations without proof...it's a gunnah. Its one thing to feel righteous anger, but not thinking before speaking can make one appear foolish.
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^Are u 100% sure that they had sex? Cuz if you think what the op is doing is wrong, it's also wrong to make such.accusations without proof...it's a gunnah. Its one thing to feel righteous anger, but not thinking before speaking can make one appear foolish.
you are right !
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HEY OP... Are you attracted to your wife? Is your Russian girlfriend better looking than your wife? Is that the reason your in so-called temporary love?