Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
wow this comment is kind of behaya! do you live alone, girl?
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
No need to confront her.
Her comment may be rude, but after all your MIL asked. She probably didnt think about it ..
Dont make it an issue
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I think it is a Pakistani cultural trait to state facts about someone's appearance, negative or positive, in matter of fact way. Maybe it is meant to hurt, but in many cases it just seems like they have to just state whatever they have observed. Maybe they even think it's helpful, like you haven't noticed these things yourself, otherwise you would've fixed the problem by now. It is silly, and I have cried a lot over careless comments, but it's not worth it.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
In one ear and out the next, that's how you gotta be. It's not worth getting upset over, and it's not worth picking a fight over. Just ignore it, some women don't even realise/think they're being rude.
My khala calls me fat all the time and I'm not even pregnant, I'm not fat and I don't really care what she calls me cos I have more self-esteem than to listen to other people's rubbish.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
yes it does dear but dont you think what it makes you when you call idiots to someone of your mother's age?? it doesn't look good dear!
I'm not your "dear", and no one is even calling her that to her face....nor is anyone suggesting OP even confront her MIL over it....so chill.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I think it is a Pakistani cultural trait to state facts about someone's appearance, negative or positive, in matter of fact way. Maybe it is meant to hurt, but in many cases it just seems like they have to just state whatever they have observed. Maybe they even think it's helpful, like you haven't noticed these things yourself, otherwise you would've fixed the problem by now. It is silly, and I have cried a lot over careless comments, but it's not worth it.
Oh this is sooooooooooooooooo true!
I have this one bhabhi who without fail mentions my weight gain or weight loss everytime she sees me, even if I haven't lost or gained a pound in months!!! Does it annoy me? Sure it does. But I also chalk it up to her not having anything of substance to contribute to a conversation so she falls back on critiquing others. I shrug my shoulders and realize the lack is in her and not me. You can't change people whose world view is focussed on superficial things like physical appearance.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I think it is a Pakistani cultural trait to state facts about someone's appearance, negative or positive, in matter of fact way. Maybe it is meant to hurt, but in many cases it just seems like they have to just state whatever they have observed. Maybe they even think it's helpful, like you haven't noticed these things yourself, otherwise you would've fixed the problem by now. It is silly, and I have cried a lot over careless comments, but it's not worth it.
Totally agree. This is what Pakistani women do. They talk about others, as long as it's not their own daughters, they especially love to talk to about ther DIL's. The funny thing is majority of these desi aunties are overweight and rarely make an effort to look nice. They still feel the need to talk about other girls, pregnant or recently given birth, weight.
When asked about their own they say "Oh humne to 4 bache paida kiye hain humari to exuse hai" .... uhh yeah like 30 years ago!! Gahhh
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I'm not your "dear", and no one is even calling her that to her face....nor is anyone suggesting OP even confront her MIL over it....so chill.
yeah, seems I made a mistake calling you 'dear'. its alright, I am sorry!
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I had some family friends like that. Any tiny zit on your face, and one of them would go mid conversation, "Hey contrarian, what is it on your face, is it a zit?"
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
In my personal experience, this is not only a Pakistani thing. I have seen non-pakistani desis, and women of other races (white, chinese, Mexican etc.) exhibit this behavior. I think it a FEMALE thing.
I honestly can’t remember the last time I heard a man make a reference towards a woman’s weight (especially a pregnant woman!). At least not to her face. They usually stick to asking about how the baby’s doing, and how the woman is feeling in general. WOMEN on the other hand…love to ask about or make references to weight gain or the LACK of weight loss. 
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I thought looking fat or having a double chin is good thing during pregnancy.. in fact the older generation will probably love that the bahu is so moti, our grandchild will be healthy too!!
I dont see any big deal about it.. in fact the more I think about it, I think it's your MIL's fault for sharing such statements!!
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
Up until my early 20’s I had horrible acne and my own MOTHER did this to me on a regular basis! 
She would point at a zit and make comments such as “What is that?!”, “OMG!!!”, “How did you get it?” etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. 
Oh, I also dealt with bad hyperpigmentation and yes, whenever a zit left a scar, she made sure to point that out too. Yet ironically, I don’t recall my father EVER making any comments at all about it. 
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I think it is a Pakistani cultural trait to state facts about someone's appearance, negative or positive, in matter of fact way. Maybe it is meant to hurt, but in many cases it just seems like they have to just state whatever they have observed. Maybe they even think it's helpful, like you haven't noticed these things yourself, otherwise you would've fixed the problem by now. It is silly, and I have cried a lot over careless comments, but it's not worth it.
I think it's a desi thing - I've seen a ton of Indian aunties do it too. I did not think about it too much when I was in India, but now that I'm in the US it strikes me every time I go back. When people see you after a long time, it's like they HAVE to make a comment on your physical appearance, good or bad. It's almost a way of greeting.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
itna seroius masla..........3rd page already..... if it aint' 'bleeep' i don't know what is.
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
So who is a womens worst enemy again? :faris:
I’m surprised you care.
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
Yes, by saying it was a Pakistani trait, I did not mean to suggest that others do not have it. I’m sure Indians and other ethnicities do the same.
But having grown up in the US I find it very uncomfortable the way people discuss so openly anything that a person may consider physical flaws. It’s just not done here (unless it’s behind the back 
).
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Too late to say now but you could have said to you MIL ... That you don't believe your hubby's khala can be that mean ...
... Just kidding ... Better to ignore their comments ...
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
this thread has good 'raw material' :D
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
Oh I have! Yup! A Pakistani man suffering from a serious case of inferiority complex who we made the mistake of letting into our house along with his voti who also suffered from the same mental disease! I can’t believe I let the dude comment on everything from my skin to my pregnant sister’s weight before finally telling him “Aapko bhai kehte hain tau aap bhai ki tarah behave bhi kia karein or apni commentary apne paas rakhein.” … Needless to say, we aren’t in touch any more. 
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
i think the mentality depends on upbringing…
If one cant make a positive comment then one must keep his mouth shut..