Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
he might be trying to impress his wife.....:D
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
^ 
Even though I haven’t personally experienced this…I don’t doubt they exist. 
Kudos to you for saying something and of course, never repeating the same mistake again! 
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Comments made by women don't irk me that much... but I expect "brothers" not to make comments on a sister's physical appearance... kamar pe fat ziada hai, kameez thori loose hai... are you kidding me?? That is why I only gave out to him, not his wife who was also an expert at backhanded comments!
Re: Rude comments from husband’s khala - confront her or no?
My FIL thought it would be funny to comment on all the weight I had gained after I had my baby.
He jokingly said I look like a “haati” and shouldn’t eat much. I had only gained 20lbs and I was very skinny before I had my baby, AND I had postpartum depression and he knew it. He still finds the need to comment on my weight whenever I talk to MIL about getting new clothes stitched from Pak. Comments like “Apne naye measurements dedo, kaafi gain kar liya hai” when coming from your FIL are very uncomfortable … MIL doesn’t see why I should be offended as he’s only “joking”.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Exactly! I call these men "zanana" -_- No offense to your FIL!
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Exactly! I call these men "zanana" -_- No offense to your FIL!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!
I call these aunty-numma men - the ones who feel a need to interfere and comment about things that clearly have nothing to do with them!
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Yeah some men do that too. Idiots. My friend's FIL comments on everything from her nightdress to shoes. She was wearing a loose fitting top one day and he advised her to not wear it again saying it looks like maternity wear. All this in a restaurant with other family friends around.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I don't see it as that big of an issue which requires being sarcastic or dropping hints. It's just something she said just like that. Don't let it get to you. You're pregnant, you don't need silly things to think about. Just take it as a random comment and move on.
And Congratulations on the pregnancy! =)
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Dear OP it's nothing, when my Mil saw me first time after delivery she said tum phelvan ban gai ho, n cow n wht not, well I m such a dheet person I gave her smile n ignored it completely :)
If you want to survive in society trust me u have to be dheet n ignorant
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Yeah some men do that too. Idiots. My friend's FIL comments on everything from her nightdress to shoes. She was wearing a loose fitting top one day and he advised her to not wear it again saying it looks like maternity wear. All this in a restaurant with other family friends around.
Agreed to the absolute end core of the crust. Takes truly a useless man to be wanting to sensationalize/create issues over a couple clothes his daughter chooses to wear. More shambolic if he thinks his manliness will only be appreciated or proved the instant he decides to tell a WOMAN (Couldn't help but emphasize) straight up on her face of how morally incorrect the clothes she wears he believes are.
Side note. Men ought to be lying if they said they didn't enjoy putting down zanana numa mards. :D
Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Congrats! Ignore those who talk. :)
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Congrats! Ignore those who talk. :)
If you must ignore someone who gets his fair share of rosey dreams often. :p
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
Thanks for the responses everyone. It makes me realize it wasn't really khala's fault as she was asked for her opinion.
To clarify, I actually have an otherwise very nice mother-in-law, however, sometimes she says things without thinking or realizing how the other person will take it. I think it was just a lack of tact on her part.
I also probably should have mentioned that my mother-in-law told me this in front of others. It was at a davat and it was said in front of my sis-in-law, two cousin-in-laws and two cousin-in-law's cousins. The topic came up because everyone was talking about my pregnancy etc. since everyone just recently found out and that's when she said it. I gracefully said "oh, I didn't realize it was that bad" and laughed it off. But inside, I was hurt.
Anyway, my mother-in-law is actually not a malicious person and I know she wasn't trying to hurt me intentionally, but I do think it was completely wrong for her to ask her sis this in the first place and then also go and say it to me in front of others around.
She is thrilled about the pregnancy and she says nice things about me to others as well. There is no jelousy between us but yes she has said/done certain at time that have hurt me. I don't think it is intentional but she doesn't realize it. Again, I think its a complete lack of tact on her part.
As soon as I told my husband what happened the first thing he said was "Why would she even ask khala that." He completely agrees that his mom was in the wrong and even told me he would be ok with me mentioning it to khala in a joking way, but I will be the bigger person and not say anything.
The news of my pregnancy was revealed at the same time as khala's son's engagement. The day khala told my MIL about her son's engagement, my MIL also told her our good news and khala's response was "Couldnt you have waited at least another day to tell me?" Basically, she wanted to be able to have the only good news for a day. Then on the engagement party everyone was coming up to me and giving me attention because of my pregnancy news. My husband thinks maybe khala was a bit jelous that the spot light had to be shared that day. Maybe it is that ormaybe she was simply stating a fact. Who knows.
Anyway, thanks for the responses. My baby is the only thing that should matter. Alhumdolilah.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
good on you candy apple for being the better person :)
And I am glad you get along with your MIL.
As Ive said before sometimes some people dont know that they are being untactful or rude. They dont assess the situation... and im glad you see it that way too :)
and yeah, maybe your MIL should have saved ur news for another day.... ?
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I know its a bit late, nut I thought I would share this little gem. In the wise words of J.K Rowling
“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.
I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…
I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’
‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’
What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!
I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons"
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
^ That's awesome!
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
nah, so what? it's really not a big deal...don't bother bringing it up, looks so petty and your mom in law may get mad at you...
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
dont say anything. ignore i say.
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I know its a bit late, nut I thought I would share this little gem. In the wise words of J.K Rowling
“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.
I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…
I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’
‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’
What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!
I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons"
Amazingly articulate!
Re: Rude comments from husband's khala - confront her or no?
I know its a bit late, nut I thought I would share this little gem. In the wise words of J.K Rowling
“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.
I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…
I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’
‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’
What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!
I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons"
Great post. Made me love JKR all over again!