Red Flag?

Hobbies, and interests what work you’re involved in, how old you are, what how many siblings, however where do you live I can think of a million and one things that don’t revolve around money.
If I met with someone and the third question they asked was how much money do you make I would show them the door, and this is anyone not just rishta.

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lol. Its perfectly alright to be offended if someone rejects a chic for age, ugliness, caste… but if someone smells like a golddigger, its ‘over reaction’ :hehe:

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What’s wrong with rejecting someone over age? I think it will be extremely unlikely a 25 year old and a 35 year old will be compatible.

“Ugliness and caste” are bad criteria.

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My mom asks for salary DIRECTLY. There is a minimum salary limit here in UAE which is needed to sponsor a wife and thus knowing whether the guy would be able to sponsor his wife is very very important. And knowing just his education and company is not enough since the job market is very awkward here with some large organisations paying very less to some of the employees.

So, yes. My mom asks about it DIRECTLY. But the question can be put in a nice way and usually majority of the guys do say to my mom that its her right to know this.

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^Ashy: Just out of curiosity, what is the minimum salary limit there in UAE?

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Yoda - you are making the mistake that all guys in this process make - they forget this is about marriage and someone giving their daughter to you.

They dont give a flying monkeys bottom whether you like football and cricket.

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Surely that's what matters in the real world? Living in a fancy house and clashing with your wife over everything is a nightmare, living in a shed and having a laugh day in day out is much more fun.

I love travelling and adventure, (not in a go to Egypt and sit in a resort type way) if your wife is a stay at home bore who doesn't like foreign things, surely that's a good bit of incompatibility? I would want someone who like me for my character, traits, interests and such things, not because I can pull in £5k a month and live in a fancy house.

Money doesn't equal happiness, well not to me anyway in my experience, heck for me the act of making money is fun, (one could say money is a by product of what I do for fun) that makes me happy but never the money itself.

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Minimum is DH 3,000 for wife and children along with a decent accomodation. If you are planning to keep your parents with you, you have got to make minimum DH. 9,000 per month plus a 2 bedroom apartment.

Not all highly qualified guys (MBA, MSc, MSC etc) are making enough to sponsor their wives. So we need to ask them directly. We have seen normal graduates (BA) making DH. 12,000 per month and MBAs making as little as DH. 2500 per month. So a higher degree doesn't mean a good salary here in Dubai.

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All what you said is important BUT all that comes later after you pass all initial criteria said by the girls family.

For e.g. when boys phone our house they ask - education, what I look like, how religious I am, questions about my fam and siblings, age etc

Then my parents ask - guys job,education and prospects, about the guys family and their jobs and levels, what he looks like, his religious level and if he has any requirements.

THEN we meet if everything is fine from those initial questions and only then do me and guy discuss hobbies etc. My dad couldnt care less about his fave film.

If you want to skip that part dont go through an arranged marriage.

Its not about the amount of money its about stability and maintaining a life style that the girl or her family are hoping for.

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I am not sure what the push back is for. Guys should not be offended if girl’s parents ask about their job, future prospect (or even salary)

this is plain and simple…

:chai:

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I still struggle to understand why salary is relevant (apart from visa issues, which don’t count in the UK) Job and prospects is fair enough but salary reads gold digger to me.

I wonder what the response would be if I replied with UK’s leading distributor of sex toys, with a large salary.

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aray mere bhai, salary is relevant because that is what you are going to use to run your household :smack:

do you ask for the salary if you are offered a job? why?

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Then say no to that rishta.

Those rishtas that say to my parents - we want a girl who is more into staying at home than working - we say no to them as thats not what we want.

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I’m providing a service, and in theory I’m going to be half decent at it and therefore worth paying for, if you’re good at something don’t do it for free! I would ask the salary to see if I will be getting paid fairly for the services I’m providing.

Not quite the same is it?

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ok let me go a step ahead and take a shot at your gold digger thing

If girl’s life style is such that she has cook, maid, driver, $$$$$$$ and car all her life and she (and her parents thinks) that she will not be able to have a good life and relationship without these things, I’d say even then its their right to make sure guy is capable of providing these things. If guy think parents are gold digger then be it. Its better to not get into relationship and have CHAKH CHAKH everyday because of lack of financial resources and to make sure that there are enough resources beforehand.

I think they have right to make sure things that they (and girl) think are required, are available. If that makes parents gold digger, then so be it.

Personally I’d not endorse any such behavior of girl or her parents as I personally believe more on strength of character and will to put in effort but I’ll understand if they ask such question(s).

:chai:

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Purely out of interest what will happen to the girl if the resources disappeared overnight? I guess the parents tried their best? It will be a sudden shock to the system of the girl that’s for sure, especially if those things made her life “good”.

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When you get onboard airplane or ship, they make sure ship or plane is working properly at the time of boarding. If anything happens during flight or during sailing, there are other measures that you have to take. Just because ship can drown during sailing or plane can crash, you can not start boarding people onto ship with big hole in the middle…can u ?

So you make sure up to the limit you can, leave the rest to Allah, people involved and their will power.

:chai:

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I wonder how many people jumped the ship when the titanic sank and how many tried to keep it afloat using any means possible :d:smack:

I appreciate it’s getting silly now.

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Some people do jump out of relationships in hard times and some stick to their partners in think and thin…

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Great thread. For a 25 year old you are very wise Yoda. Wisj I had your depth at that age.