Re: Pregnant but not married
Everyone is saying adopt adopt adopt adopt.
1) I Thought adoption was not allowed in islam.
2) Read number one again
3) why didnt any of you adopt when you wanted a baby so badly?!!?!
^ Adoption is allowed in Islam, just with conditions such as u can’t change the kids’s surname and there are limitations in regards to inheritance and so on..
Complete info here: What is the fiqh of adopting a child?
Re: Pregnant but not married
diff topic and has been discussed before, and there is no harm in giving the child your surname if the kids family name is unknown, as is the case with many abandoned children. and the info on that site about inheritance is half correct, yes you can give a gift in your life, but at the same time other ppl in line for inheritance can withdraw their claim in the favour of the child.
oh and yes, I adopted.
^ Most Muslims who adopt over here in the West (there are many illegitimate Muslim/desi/mixed-race babies) will obviously know the kids surname but still want to change it and even if they go 'back home' they prob will as well. My auntie and uncle adopted a little disabled Bengali girl and took her over to live with them in the US and yes, others can withdraw their claim to inheritance but being honest how many ppl would do that?? Easiest solution is usually the 'gift' thing..
:k:
Agree with you completely, especially last part.
^ Most Muslims who adopt over here in the West (there are many illegitimate Muslim/desi/mixed-race babies) will obviously know the kids surname but still want to change it and even if they go 'back home' they prob will as well. My auntie and uncle adopted a little disabled Bengali girl and took her over to live with them in the US and yes, others can withdraw their claim to inheritance but being honest how many ppl would do that?? Easiest solution is usually the 'gift' thing..
here in the west? I am not in shikarpur you know. :)
and speaking of children in the west as well, in many cases the identity of the father is not known, so what surname will you give?
the name change thing has to be seen based on intent..in old days there were no adoption records, if you show up one day all of a sudden with a kid and claim them as your biological child no one will know and then the 'dreaded' potential prospect of them marrying their biological sibling...
secondly, the best interest of the child has to be kept in mind, other rulings have been to give the kid some last name like abdullah etc, which btw is then an open announcement yeah worls, kid is adopted and err yeah we dont know who the father was..knowing desi community, how will that work out for the kid. That is why as long as the fact that the child is not a biological child is not kept a secret, you can give them any name that you want especially if their parents name is not known
so the adoption should not be hidden, but it does not have to be announced to the entire world either.
the reason many adoptions are hidden in Pakistan are because the adopting parents fear of how the child will be treated life people knew it was an abandoned child, because you know its the childs fault that it was born and had complete control over the circumstances of its birth. but then some people in our society dont treat a divorced woman's kids right either..that sort of arseholishness is present.
as far as people gifting their share, well its your family isnt it? if a persons parents and siblings will not give up their claim on their dead sibling or child's assets in favour of a baby that their sibling or child loves, then that says a lot about the individuals siblings and parents.
I agree that a person should be able to give all of their assets to their adoptive child, but maybe you did not read your own link, it categorically states as the limits of that being no more than 1/3rd of the assets. the site also states things like you should not stop the adopted child from meeting birth parents..which is next to impossible in the case of abandoned babies anyways.
it is a good idea to discuss with scholars in person and discuss points specifically. they need to be educated on the situations as well.
Re: Pregnant but not married
both situation are wrong i dont accept them but my blood realation do something like thats it obious that i cant leave her like that but a big no ....Allah is there he knows what he has written in someones fate doing illegul things to keep u happy that are prohibitted in islam no way of happinesss.......its only in this world but we have to be answerable for these deeds to Allah.
Re: Pregnant but not married
Ye Gods, the jahileeat of it all. Just to clear a few things up:
Adultery = Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.
Fornication = Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.
Whatever your personal beliefs or prejudices are regarding the matter, at least get your definitions straight folks.
and that is exactly what my point is. I think that the lady chose an irresponsible way of bringing a child in this world (assuming that is an out of wedlock birth). What started as an act of irresponsibility will remain an act of irresponsibility. If she is from desi community, she has to raise the kid in this community. How will the kids be received by the society? Will he become an outcast? Will he become rebalious? Will it hurt his self esteem? Will he be ashamed of his mom's act? Will he ever get married or will he decide just to sleep around cause that is what he learned from his mom?
That is why I said that her act was a selfish one cause she was thiking of fulfiling her wish without thinking of the consequences the baby is going to face once he grew up.
HAS to? Says who? You? Assuming she's not a wombed automaton and has her own free will, she can raise her child in any community of her choosing (hopefully one where the members are not more concerned with other people's personal lives than they are with their own).
Re: Pregnant but not married
^ I know ... scary isn't it.
Reading these replies, i have to wonder, in real life how you actually treat people in your community who are single parents, be it through divorce, widow, or simply getting knocked up.
What about people who 'sinned', got knocked up and then are really, really, sorry for their sins and try to go on the right path? They don't have a chance in hell of being treated fairly according to some of the replies here .... well thank Allah HE is forgiving. Too bad humans aren't.
Re: Pregnant but not married
All i gotta say in this is .. good luck when you get screwed left right center on the day of Judgement .. Thats whats gona happen if u aint follow rules of islam. Koi islam ko follow kar k to dekhey .. dooooor se hi dekh kar bhaag jaaatey hein .. where as islam gives you an option for every action in this world … thats if you believe that you are a muslim.
simple as that .. now who wants 
If she could find herself someone to sleep with, wh coudn't she find smeone to marry her on her own?
LOL, what kind of question is that?
Of course it's a lot easier to get laid than to get married.
Re: Pregnant but not married
I really really dont see the big deal, Each to their own. She DOESNT have to stay where she is. She doesnt even have to go a desi community. And people wud never find out, She cud easily say the dads works abroad, or hes died, or shes divored. Or better still desi's need to get a life and focus on their own families.
second of all, like Eye4Eye said, it is much easier to get laid than get married, what silly comment, if she can find sum1 to sleep with she can find sum1 to get married too, errrmmm hellooo? *really?? *is that why there is 30+ year olds still unmarried.
thirdly i thought adoption was not allowed in islam, Even tho i thought it wasnt allowed i always thought you shud, Theres plenty of children with no homes :( it breaks my heart. Inshallah one day when im stable enuff i wud love to adopt a child or better pay for their education.
And like sum1 else said, If Allah can forgiv us for the most awful things, who the hell are WE to judge and not forgiv sum1? Its beyond me. And again i repeat myself i wish people wud stop saying if she wanted a kid so badly go and adopt, Im sorry but evryone dreams of having their *own *child.
I hope Allah givs that woman strength and a happy and successful life.
What about people who 'sinned', got knocked up and then are really, really, sorry for their sins and try to go on the right path? They don't have a chance in hell of being treated fairly according to some of the replies here .... well thank Allah HE is forgiving. Too bad humans aren't.
All i gotta say in this is .. good luck when you get screwed left right center on the day of Judgement .. Thats whats gona happen if u aint follow rules of islam.
Serious question, someone who gets pregnant before she gets married, but does eventually marry the father (while pregnant), is her sin forgiven? Will she still be punished on teh day of judgment, even though she DID marry the guy and raise teh child in a "normal" environment?
A child being raised by a single mother who is divorced or widowed is one thing--I think what has people more alarmed and upset is that someone deliberately took this step, and more so, doesnt appear to be ashamed about it....
I dont agree with this argument that because she was desperate, it was "okay." What's wrong is wrong. But that doesnt mean the child automatically deserves to be punished or treated badly because of the sins of his mother and I honestly dont see anybody advocating the child SHOULD be bullied just because of this. Yes, there are chances the child will get bullied, but ALOT of children who are perefctly "legitimate" are bullied for whatever reason.
LOL, what kind of question is that?
Of course it's a lot easier to get laid than to get married.
That has to be the most articulate and insightful point made on this thread; I defy anybody to argue with that one.
If people can have kids when they're young and stupid teenagers, stuck in a crappy marriage, or broke, then i dont see why a woman n her 30s cant have a kid.
Huh? How does one wrong make the other right? Seriously!
Re: Pregnant but not married
I didnt say it was right..just that it s possible and it happens.
Re: Pregnant but not married
Ofcourse it is possible and ofcourse it happens...isnt that why n how the topic was made?!. Anyway...
:=)
Re: Pregnant but not married
I just have one concern. So this girl is pregnant out of wed lock yes she will be punished for her Sin on the day of judgment, Allah swt sees everything and knows best
But is it okay to treat her and her child poorly? Or pass comments etc? I don't think so, she made a mistake, she knew what she was doing, but is it justified to point it out all the time?
I mean to each their own, that her problem, I'm wondering because this girl will be ostracized by the DESI community. Why should we the desi community make her feel bad for what she has done for the rest of her life? Why?
I dont know what i'm trying to say, i hope i'm making sense.
p.s I think adoption is good and I think it is allowed in Islam but you can't give your family name to the child and there are restriction on inheritance (but you can give money or anything you desire as a gift etc) I am 100% sure of this.
That has to be the most articulate and insightful point made on this thread; I defy anybody to argue with that one.
Especially if it's a girl with needs. A hot girl doesn't need to do much to get what she wants but as far as marriage is concerned, the guy has to think about his situation too.