All I'm saying is I'd like to see men get roasted more often for these sorts of things and they don't. Not even 1% the way girls do. You can't look at a person's sins without taking into context the circumstances. We get vocal when it gets to this point but what are we doing to prevent these problems?
Raising our boys to be unfit husbands and discriminate against perfectly eligible educated girls raised abroad?
We have pushed her to this level of desperation.
Her sin is between her and God. I don't mudsling at other people when they are majboor or make mistakes and that's the Islamic way, if you want to learn anything about Islam.
Majboor lol. That's not really the Islamic Way. **She was majboor, so she planned to get pregnant. She was majboor, so she did the mistake! You my dear, really know nothing about Islam and the way of Life within Islam.
For those who insist the child will be bullied ... raise your kids better. Yeah, kids from what are considered "happy" homes, teach your children how to behave and how to respect others, regardless of their 'family background'. In all honesty, these kids are just repeating behaviour they see in their own homes so perhaps you yourselves should stop looking down at others and then maybe your kids will too? Stop doing bakwas about widows, divorcees, single mothers, etc. and perhaps your children will stop as well?
This reminds me of my cousin ... in the early 80s ... both parents are present, married, living together, etc., but the mother was white. He was picked on, bullied, called all sorts of names just cause he was a "half caste". It was only the Pakistani kids that did this. Not the white kids. Not the black kids. Desi community can be real nasty when they want to be. Big surprise, he isn't interested in desi girls now thanks to how desis treated him when he was little. People here are harping on about the desi community being scandalized and upset ... you will be raising the next generation. Teach your kids not to bully or terrorize others.
Amazing. Guys in our community commit Zina all the time and no one makes such a hangama over it.
not all the time, usually weekends, saturday nights. classes, homework and projects usually killed the week, wednesday was college night at the bars so that would be another big one..its not called hump day for nuthin
and ppl do make hangama, on this very forum, the thread about a guy who married someone and is now divorced .. no benefit of the doubt there, and the bloke was not even committing zina, he was married.
guys dont get a free pass either.
PS: most desi guys who claim they get it dont get any, they are all talk...for proof go to any bar or club, the 5 nerds standing around a table sipping dodgy drinks and puffing on smokes..they are not walking out with anyone but their desi buddies they came to the club with..
If my daughter is sleeping around with someone, she might as well marry that person. & if that person is not up for marriage Den its just useless. if she wants a kid so badd den she shud adopt it. Not choose the Haraam path. She can come to pakistan search rishtas and get married. Rishtoon ki kammi nahi hoti or agar hai bhi toh.. Dere is no need to choose the devil's path.
Whatever her reasons for not finding anyone shouldnt even matter. She should have just showed some patience...u never know..she could have found mr perfect-for-her and had tons of babies the halal way.
I pray that she turns to Allah SWT to forgive her.
I'm not saying that I agree with what she did but I can understand her viewpoint and why she chose this path.
She is in her LATE 30s, so in my opinion she has been patient but if she carried on patiently waiting for a decent proposal may be she wouldn't get one ever or may be she would get one at 45. What then? how easy would it be for her to have a child at that age?
As for the sin, most muslim girls bought up in the UK seem to be having sex before marriage. All of these girls who find their own partners, what do you think, they just hold hands for the couple of years they spend getting to know their boyfriends? I don't think so. In my experience at university all the muslim girls except may be one or two, who were in relationships were sleeping with their boyfriends. Its still the same sin whether or not they end up marrying their boyfriends or whether they don't and just get pregnant.
As for the sin, most muslim girls bought up in the UK seem to be having sex before marriage.
All of these girls who find their own partners, what do you think, they just hold hands for the couple of years they spend getting to know their boyfriends? I don't think so. In my experience at university
all the muslim girls except may be one or two, who were in relationships were sleeping with their boyfriends.
really?
would muslim girls from UK who found their own partners like to comment?
As for the sin, most muslim girls bought up in the UK seem to be having sex before marriage. All of these girls who find their own partners, what do you think, they just hold hands for the couple of years they spend getting to know their boyfriends? I don't think so. In my experience at university all the muslim girls except may be one or two, who were in relationships were sleeping with their boyfriends. Its still the same sin whether or not they end up marrying their boyfriends or whether they don't and just get pregnant.
oh really and what qualifies u to make such a sweeping statement? do u personally know most muslim girls that are bought up in the uk? maybe u were the one who was hanging around with screwed up girls at uni. thanks for tarring us all with the same brush
my first response to this thread...keep your mouth shut, anything u say can be used against u in a court of law.
but anyway...i think its perfectly okay for a woman to raise a child on her own. if she is living in a good environment she can probably do this well. its the women in more disenfranchised communities that get blamed for not raising the child in a good way.
it all just depends...
i think of calista flockhart, angelina jolie who adopted children and then met a man later. it seems easier for them because they have a certain place in society that allows them to live this way. us on this end of the world can only hope. i grew up in the west so am cautious of comments from the staunch muslims.
its still hush hush here in the US in suburbia. We are still all good muslims and we dont have sex outside of marraige- right.
