*I say this because i know of someone who was in this same circumstances *
*and when the child was born and raised he was always taunted and if u know of any *
*desi guys u will know what im talking about and what kinda language and abuse they *
could give u for the way you wer brought into the world ( mum not married )
And as you also will know of desis no matter were you are, they will always find ur info from somewhere, there is a saying and i dont know if all of u will understand it is ;
Still morall and ethicall wrong in m view. THere is evidence that kids in stable marriages are emotionall better than those raised by single parents.
why? if teh kid is not born out of wedlock..then the morality issue is out
and yes kids in stable marriages are emotionally better than those raised by single parent households..does that then mean we tale away divorced or widowed peoples kids?
PS: evidence also suggests that single parents kids are better off than kids in a dysfunctional family where both parents are present..do we then assess all families for how dysfunctional they are and take their kids away.? ethically would it be right to leave kids in less than acceptable households..
how is it wrong islamically..tomorrow if she shows you a nikkahnama noting that she infact was married to this guy or claims muttah/misyar type situation was there, which while I dont agre with seems to be sanctioned by the scholarly powers that be, then your 'islamically its wrong' argument goes out the window
*Yes ...but she is NOT married and does NOT have a nikkahnama *
*I say this because i know of someone who was in this same circumstances *
*and when the child was born and raised he was always taunted and if u know of any *
*desi guys u will know what im talking about and what kinda language and abuse they *
could give u for the way you wer brought into the world ( mum not married )
And as you also will know of desis no matter were you are, they will always find ur info from somewhere, there is a saying and i dont know if all of u will understand it is ;
that pheliyan ne paikay ve puchnain desi ppl :D
does the kid have to grow up in, or associate with desi kids or desi families?
and still, the out of wedlock thing can not be proven even now, all we have is heresay
so if some lady got pregnant and then the husband died, the lady should terminate the pregnancy?
That is not what I meant. Why are we against teen pregnancies? Its because it shows an irresponsible attitude. Going out and making yourself pregnant just for the heck of it is not responsible in my opinion. We are talking about a human life here, of the baby that is
why? if teh kid is not born out of wedlock..then the morality issue is out
and yes kids in stable marriages are emotionally better than those raised by single parent households..does that then mean we tale away divorced or widowed peoples kids?
PS: evidence also suggests that single parents kids are better off than kids in a dysfunctional family where both parents are present..do we then assess all families for how dysfunctional they are and take their kids away.? ethically would it be right to leave kids in less than acceptable households..
No, you don;t take awa peoples kids, but, before bringing a kid into this world, the parent should see if their circumstances are suitable for raising a kid in ever aspect. And i am of the view that not everone should be allowed to procreate. This includes many married people.
*Yes ...but she is NOT married and does NOT have a nikkahnama *
*so therefore its wrong.... *
If she was married the poster would have said.
1- we dont know if the poster knows the whole story
2- we dont know if the poster posted the whole story
so, we are going by assumptions that she had non shariah endorsed physical relationship
I am stating that it very well could have been in shariah endorsed circumstances..you or I dont know either.
and if my assumption is true, then the morality and religion angle goes out the window.
That is not what I meant. Why are we against teen pregnancies? Its because it shows an irresponsible attitude. Going out and making yourself pregnant just for the heck of it is not responsible in my opinion. We are talking about a human life here, of the baby that is
define who this 'we' is that you are talking about, if the 'we' is US society in general then..
we are against teen pregenancies because teenagers are not ready or able to fufill parental responsibilities
a 30 year old is on the other hand is able.
well depends on the person there are married couples with kids who should have been neutered instead of allowing to hve kids, I am talking about abusers, baby killers etc..
but in general a 30 year old having a kid is very diff than a 16 year old having a kid..
*All we have is hearsay...but we are expressing our opinions to the *
situation that has been shown.
The kid will one day or another will meet and come across desi ppl
and its not a nice situation to put ur child into.
but desi ppl and desi kids are crude towards kids of divorced ladies too,
so what do we do then?
its less than ideal, indeed but that solely can not be a determining factor.
I knoe plenty of 2nd or 3rd gen desis who really are not integrated with 'desi' community at all..especially true for ppl who have one desi and one non desi parent..
so to say that one has to be tid to the desi community, thats stretching it..
aur us suhani shab-e-maah meiN Khawhish key saanp ney zebunnisa ko das liya
tufaani raat mein raat mein der say ghar kay darwazay ki kundi baji..darwaza khultay hi zaibunnisa apnay bap kay paer pay gir parri...aba mujhe maaf kar daen, mujh say bohot barri ghalti ho gayee hai..
baap- baiti roh matt..tum nay 1800maulvis ko text kar diya tha na? sab theek haio..fikar na kar mera baccha
tufaani raat mein raat mein der say ghar kay darwazay ki kundi baji..darwaza khultay hi zaibunnisa apnay bap kay paer pay gir parri...aba mujhe maaf kar daen, mujh say bohot barri ghalti ho gayee hai..
baap- baiti roh matt..tum nay 1800maulvis ko text kar diya tha na? sab theek haio..fikar na kar mera baccha
define who this 'we' is that you are talking about, if the 'we' is US society in general then..
*we are against teen pregenancies because teenagers are not ready or able to fufill parental responsibilities
*
a 30 year old is on the other hand is able.
well depends on the person there are married couples with kids who should have been neutered instead of allowing to hve kids, I am talking about abusers, baby killers etc..
but in general a 30 year old having a kid is very diff than a 16 year old having a kid..
and that is exactly what my point is. I think that the lady chose an irresponsible way of bringing a child in this world (assuming that is an out of wedlock birth). What started as an act of irresponsibility will remain an act of irresponsibility. If she is from desi community, she has to raise the kid in this community. How will the kids be received by the society? Will he become an outcast? Will he become rebalious? Will it hurt his self esteem? Will he be ashamed of his mom's act? Will he ever get married or will he decide just to sleep around cause that is what he learned from his mom?
That is why I said that her act was a selfish one cause she was thiking of fulfiling her wish without thinking of the consequences the baby is going to face once he grew up.
*I say this because i know of someone who was in this same circumstances *
*and when the child was born and raised he was always taunted and if u know of any *
*desi guys u will know what im talking about and what kinda language and abuse they *
could give u for the way you wer brought into the world ( mum not married )
And as you also will know of desis no matter were you are, they will always find ur info from somewhere, there is a saying and i dont know if all of u will understand it is ;
that pheliyan ne paikay ve puchnain desi ppl :D
Your right. desi's mentally. Islamically we all know its wrong. But not islamically obviously it was up to her at the end of the day. Like i said 12 year olds have kids this days.
Anyway Like you said, no matter what people will find out. -true. And desi guys will always chat sh*t even if you SPEAK to a guy.
But she probly thought, forget it, if people are gonna chat about me, might as well make it juciy!!
I say this because i know of someone who was in this same circumstances and when the child was born and raised he was always taunted and i*f u know of any desi guys u will know what im talking about and what kinda language and abuse they could give u for the way you wer brought into the world*
