Its not about sleeping around, its about bringing a baby in this world just for the selfish reason, that is, because she WANTED one. Bringing a baby without having an established, secure home team is the stupidest thing a person can do. She should be publicly lashed.
How do you know she isnt well established and has a secure home? She is 30 for goodness sake!
Its not about sleeping around, its about bringing a baby in this world just for the selfish reason, that is, because she WANTED one. Bringing a baby without having an established, secure home team is the stupidest thing a person can do. She should be publicly lashed.
Yeah tell that to Bill Clinton or Bill Gates or Obama
Re: Pregnant but not married
If she was so desperate for a child....she should have adopted. There are so many needy children.
Sleeping with someone without marriage and then a failed relationship = its wrong.
Bringing a baby without having an established, secure home team is the stupidest thing a person can do. She should be publicly lashed.
so if some lady got pregnant and then the husband died, the lady should terminate the pregnancy?
Re: Pregnant but not married
Exactly...there is no excuse for this... its HARAM
*She should have tried to look for a rishta herself, if her parents were not successful *
*and try lower her expectations rather than go and sleep with someone *
and bring shame on her family.
so if some lady got pregnant and then the husband died, the lady should terminate the pregnancy?
^chances of that happening little, but having a baby without a father and not supported b societ at large is different
Re: Pregnant but not married
how do u know that she had physical relations in a manner not condoned by shariah?
^chances of that happening little, but having a baby without a father and not supported b societ at large is different
so a different reason, not about the family unit as TLk noted but societal acceptability of the child.
look if she is in US, society at large would not care, desi community probably will, but they are what..less than 1% of the total population..
I am not supporting her, I am just assessing the reasons given against it..
how do u know that she had physical relations in a manner not condoned by shariah?
I am not discussing shariah here, just endorsing TLK's point is that bringing a child into this world in such circumstances isn't the right thing to do
I am not discussing shariah here, just endorsing TLK's point is that bringing a child into this world in such circumstances isn't the right thing to do
that was a question for jattikhan..you post came in the same time almost I posted..
as far as circumstances, I think I already answered both your and TLKs points..
Re: Pregnant but not married
^i take our point
Re: Pregnant but not married
Yes islamically its wrong... and so is bringing ur child into such circumstances
were desi children/people with call/bully her child when its older.
Re: Pregnant but not married
^ eh?! how they gonna do they? that woman will probly move away, then start fresh. No one will ever know. And why wud they bully the kid bcoz of that?
Re: Pregnant but not married
just to summarize there are 3 issues here
1) this is morally/religiously wrong..based on assumption that she was not married to the dude. Now had they done something of the sort..and ppl did not know..that concern goes away
2) family unit not being there..yep, but that is experienced by ppl who lose their spouse or get divorced. its tough but doable
3) societal acceptance- and as I stated much of the US society will not be bothered, desi community will be bothered and a factor, i mean a community which is vicious to a divorced mother's daughters on marriage discussions would def be vicious to
let me spin it a diff way...lady has some issue, can not get married due to that issue, wants a kid, marries someone just to have a child, and then they split, is fully capable of supporting the child and give the child a good education and love, and is in a society where people are not going to be too bothered about her being a single mother...
..now what?
^ eh?! how they gonna do they? that woman will probly move away, then start fresh. No one will ever know. And why wud they bully the kid bcoz of that?
Mixed beauty u talked abt your aunty living with a white guy.do they have kids? how are they treated by every one?
Yes islamically its wrong... and so is bringing ur child into such circumstances
were desi children/people with call/bully her child when its older.
how is it wrong islamically..tomorrow if she shows you a nikkahnama noting that she infact was married to this guy or claims muttah/misyar type situation was there, which while I dont agre with seems to be sanctioned by the scholarly powers that be, then your 'islamically its wrong' argument goes out the window
so if some lady got pregnant and then the husband died, the lady should terminate the pregnancy?
One is an unexpected event, other (sleeping with someone for the sake of getting a child) is deliberate act.
Terminating pregnancy is also by large not a positive act or may not be possible.
It still carries risk to her health.
Being married and now widowed, the husband not only had given name to child but most likely some financial support.
Sleeping with someone for this sake has huge risk of the man running away.
If she is rich, stable, single mother, she lost further chance of getting married or may have to lower her expectations further to get married.
**
Even if society accepts it, an individual person may not.**
And we have not heard of any marriage yet-temporary or permanent.
Mixed beauty u talked abt your aunty living with a white guy.do they have kids? how are they treated by every one?
Perfectly fine. Infact everyone loves her. They have 2 children. Its not a big deal.
just to summarize there are 3 issues here
1) this is morally/religiously wrong..based on assumption that she was not married to the dude. Now had they done something of the sort..and ppl did not know..that concern goes away
2) family unit not being there..yep, but that is experienced by ppl who lose their spouse or get divorced. its tough but doable
3) societal acceptance- and as I stated much of the US society will not be bothered, desi community will be bothered and a factor, i mean a community which is vicious to a divorced mother's daughters on marriage discussions would def be vicious to
let me spin it a diff way...lady has some issue, can not get married due to that issue, wants a kid, marries someone just to have a child, and then they split, is fully capable of supporting the child and give the child a good education and love, and is in a society where people are not going to be too bothered about her being a single mother...
..now what?
Still morall and ethicall wrong in m view. THere is evidence that kids in stable marriages are emotionall better than those raised by single parents.
** Even if society accepts it, an individual person may not.**
it would only matter if that individual person is important..more than likely, the person is inconsequential to her..