Dont u think.. every relationship which didnt work is a lesson n maybe the guy n girl have learnt some lesson n wont do it again
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
I really don’t know what you are talking about now. Anyways, I still stick to my previous statement 
I really don’t know what you are talking about now. Anyways, I still stick to my previous statement
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“I would call him practicing muslim”
Wat does dis hv to do with islam??? Dont get it..?!
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
"I would call him practicing muslim"
Wat does dis hv to do with islam??? Dont get it..?!
Since, I belong to Islam, (& if I put myself in "searching for a Muslim guy for marriage" state, which I am not because I am already happily married Alhamdulillah), I would consider him a practicing Muslim if I find him with all the qualities you mentioned. If I were a Christian (or would be in some other religion), I would consider him as a practicing Christian (As I would be searching for a Christian Guy), & respectively. Hope I made some sense to you, now :)
Since, I belong to Islam, (& if I put myself in “searching for a Muslim guy for marriage” state, which I am not because I am already happily married Alhamdulillah), I would consider him a practicing Muslim if I find him with all the qualities you mentioned. If I were a Christian (or would be in some other religion), I would consider him as a practicing Christian (As I would be searching for a Christian Guy), & respectively. Hope I made some sense to you, now
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Isactly coz not only islam teaches all these qualities… ya dat makes sense
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
shuker hay 
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
One who doesn't regret indulging in a major sin wouldn't/couldn't/shouldn't mind his son or daughter repeating Papa's experiences.
Zara sochiay...
Pre-Marital Relationships
I can appreciate how some people are sincerely giving this guy the benefit of the doubt. And it may be the case that this guys going to change and become more committed to the relationship. However, if the roles were reversed and a woman admitted this to her fiance, would she recieve the same response or would she be labelled a wild one by her fiance and perhaps others??
I think the OP needs to listen to her gut feeling and stick to her decision n not be reminded of his past when things arent too rosy and its not easy. I personally think, he should show deep regret for his sins as to me that would exemplify his less likely to do it again. If he seems a bit 'proud' of his experienced ( for lack of a better word) I would wonder what this implies and what his views are about encountering such temptations in the future.
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
If he simply and clearly promises you (meaning without any if, and or but) that he will not cheat on you, and will use his 'experience' to make you and if all other qualities are compatible then go for it.
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
"A woman is married for her deen, her wealth or her beauty. You must go for the one with deen, may your hands be in the dust! (if you fail to heed)" [Muslim]
The characteristic of piety applies to the groom just as much as to the bride. The guardian of the woman should make this his first and top priority just as the man looking for a wife should make it his. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
"If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied with comes to you, marry to him. If you do not do so, there will be trials in the earth and a great deal of evil." At-Tirmidhi and others and it is hassan.
So, what happened to making piety and virtue , top quality to look for in a spouse and also why go on telling about each ghalati/ sin to your potential spouse or anyone else, For muslims are told to keep quiet about their sins, if Allah swt wills to keep their sins hidden in this world (obviously , it is in reference to the sins which are limited to that person).
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
Where does it mention virginity? ^
Why do people equate relationships with cheating?
It is NOT the same thing!
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
No, Reha, I think u misunderstood. Its not about virginity precisely, rather piety. What I got from op's post is , that she was pointing towards , what you referred to.
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
I guess I find it amazing that some of the posters believe:
ANY premarital relationship = cheating in future marriage
That is a very backward and uneducated approach
Its like assuming a bearded man is automatically a terrorist
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
If every guy is indulging in premarital physical relations, then by extension a somewhat equal number of girls are doing the same. 
That’s a lot of sinners walking the earth. Holy sheesh kabobs !
So much for the pitiful losers that are looking for virtuous spouses. 
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
True, he didn’t cheat on someone - except for the minor technicality that he disobeyed God in the ‘major sins’ category.
Again, that is minor in the larger scheme of things. :halo:
One redeeming point is that it is a lesser sin than adultery, if that is much consolation for somebody.
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
No, Reha, I think u misunderstood. Its not about virginity precisely, rather piety. What I got from op's post is , that she was pointing towards , what you referred to.
I thought deen and piety automatically meant being virtuous and chaste.
It's an old-fashioned concept but some fools still believe it.
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
If the guy is apologetic about his premarital relation and the OP accepts him in marriage, she can have an upper hand in their relation for the rest of their married life as the guy will always feel a little guilty and be extra nice to her to compensate for his past sin. 
If the guy however is proud of his past or doesn’t think much of it, my advice would be to let him find a girl like him who also has a similar past and doesn’t think much of it.
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
Where does it mention virginity? ^
Why do people equate relationships with cheating?
It is NOT the same thing!
Reha, I think the OP hinted in her posts that this guy has not only had girl friends in the past but has also taken it to the next step. She is afraid he'd have similar expectations from her prior to marriage and she doesn't want that. Plus, she is afraid what kind of values this guy would instill in his kids, as she mentioned she'd want an Islamic household. See the bolded parts below + the fact that many posters here have openly talked about zina and the OP hasn't once objected to their insinuations.
Hi,
He knows a lot about religion but he doesn't practise but has his morals. He's also has had** pre-marital relationships, which he doesn't seem to regret** as he said it's made him and will make him a better husband as he's learnt from his previous mistakes. He's quite open minded too.
However, I think I am more afraid of....will he wait until marriage until anything physical happens?** I really don't want to be taken down the wrong route.**
** Plus, I want a islamic household. **
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
i genuinely fail to believe that this is the case… there are plenty of muslims out there who have enough taqwa that they would never indulge in such sins. Remember, the Quran tells us “Good women for Good men…” so lets pray that iA all those that want a virtuous spouse will iA be blessed with one
Re: Pre-Marital Relationships
I thought deen and piety automatically meant being virtuous and chaste. It's an old-fashioned concept but some fools still believe it.
Yes...I see the sarcasm.
Alright.
People make mistakes all the time. It happens. Its life. Anyone would be a fool to deny the fact that they've made mistakes bigger or smaller.
Chastity is a beautiful thing and I believe in it 100% but I also believe in Allah swt's mercy as well as His decisions to bless those He will with Hidayat to do better in life. Basically, someone who's had a chance to repent and ask forgiveness is a very lucky and blessed person in my eyes. If Allah swt can forgive then who are you? A mere mortal who also answers to the same Allah as I or anyone else?
The OP can have an Islamic household if the potential spouse has indeed asked for forgiveness. A pathological liar and future cheater will NOT disclose his past mistakes. But this guy did...and even though its a bitter truth...its a truth he was willing to share. Regardless of how damaging it might be to his image.
And last but not least...being in a relationship does not make someone a cheater. People...really...get it together. I KNOW most of the posters on this board have at least spoken to other people before marrying their spouses with the intention of finding someone for marriage. If that was looked as a possibility that you might stray in the future and also speak to other men and women...none of us would be married.