I can understand where all of you guys are coming from and the thought of my husband falling in love with someone else after 13 years is pretty scary but look at the situation from the guys point of view. He didn't choose to feel that way about this other woman. Offcourse i am sure he was doing things such as talking to na-mehram on the phone while being married which offcourse all of you guys think is okay to do because a guy and a girl can be just friends. But this is the result of those things which we consider "halal" in todays society. And its too late for what he shouldn't have done, it sounds like he has made up his mind about marrying this other woman. And how come no one pointed any finger towards this other woman whoes wrecked a home? I think he did the right thing by telling her. He is way better than ba$tards who cheat on their wives and actually marry these women and think that its okay to lie to your wife about it.
Your cousin has two options, either let him have a second wife or leave him. She has to think about the kids(i dont have any so i cant tell you what else comes with that). Most importantly, she has to consider herself. Is she going to be happy with a divorce? Can she go through a lifestyle where she has to share her husband? I am sure he will help out with kids if he is making her part of the decision. Can she support her self financially and emotionally? What kind of support will she get from her family and friends? And offcourse shes gonna have to consider re-marrying, but thats later.
HE COULDN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE, u dont just fall in love with sum1, it happens over time, he allowed it 2 happen, and if he fell in love with her than he has to b able to control his feelings, his nafs stay away 4rm the girl,
why is it that woman have to compromise all the time, imagine wht the kids r gonna feel whn their dearet father brings home another wife, it just doesn't work!!!
I am not saying what he did was right. Offcourse he allowed it to happen, he could have stopped talking to her when he first started thinking about her in that sense. But the problem is that he didn't. It happened. No one can go back and change that. He cant change the way he feels. We as a society (Muslims) need to change our ways then maybe situations like these wont occur so often.
But the problem here is not what he has done, whats done is done. Its about thinking of a solution that works best for the wife and the kids. He will pay his dues inshAllah.
what country is this happening in? He can't marry two at a time in the US. Is this in PK?
its happening in uk, she left for india 2 weaks ago her work permit visa finished so she had to go thats the reason her husband had to tell his wife to give him permission to go after her and marry her.
If suppose I'm the husband and my wife is your cousin.
I'll be pretty sure....My wife will....
Just kick me and get my daughter out and
disappear from me for the rest of my life...
It's just useless to be with someone who's
heart doesn't belong together...
The thing is my cousin is so madly in love with him she did tried kicking hiom out of his life but he wouldnt go he says he loves her too, so his wife said to him if he ever mention her again she will kick him out through court.
At the moment everythings calm down its just a waiting game now.
Thankyou everyone for advising on this.
The thing is my cousin is so madly in love with him she did tried kicking hiom out of his life but he wouldnt go he says he loves her too, so his wife said to him if he ever mention her again she will kick him out through court.
At the moment everythings calm down its just a waiting game now.
Thankyou everyone for advising on this.
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
Do you really need to marry a woman or orphan to help them? Can't a man take on the responsibility of a woman financially? I send $$ to Pakistan to two families each month. I have taken on the responsibility of their groceries. If I had more to offer, I'd take on more. I didn't have to marry any of those women to help them. And I don't plan on having sex with any either.
Marrying to help is such a hypocritical notion.
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
I had a friend once, who became obsessed with my husband, even tho he barely looked at her. She then announced to me and anyone else who would listen that she wants to b his 2nd wife.
When i told my husband that someone was volunteering to b his 2nd wife, he looked frightened and said, dont let her come here again.
I decided i could do without that friend in my life.
seriously!!! your cousin should demand all those years of her life back!!! if he cant give them back, he can't marry this other woman (@itch). and , doesn't matter if he has touched her or not... it is just as hurtful to a wife (of 13 years or so and mom of his kids)...that he oh so innocently and helplessly fell in love with this other woman!
he obviously was ignoring his wife's rights islamically, if he was sharing, talking, pouring his heart out to this other woman... probably wasn't doing the same sharing and caring at home... the wife was probably home taking care of the kids, while her husband never cared to speak to her like a friend or share with her his feelings, fears, concerns, intimate thoughts and general affection and respect....instead he did this with a namehram @itch and the @itch provided the much solicted support and thats what's giving him the "feeling" of so called love.
doesn't matter if he has had sex with this other woman or not.... he has already been unfair to the wife, and has been treating the two unequally which is not allowed in islam...
what an idiot in thinking he is doing everything islamically, he is not...
its happening in uk, she left for india 2 weaks ago her work permit visa finished so she had to go thats the reason her husband had to tell his wife to give him permission to go after her and marry her.
oh you mean the sikhni's work visa expired ???.... can you reply and confirm this.
wow if thats the case , then there's the motive... issi liay tau cousin ke husband ko pataya hei usnay... the sikhni is just using your cousin's husband to immigrate to UK, and has no intentions of being a good muslim.. your cousin's husband is a stupid stupid stupid man, for falling in her trap, and actually thinking this sikhni loves him, and he loves her...
he will suffer for his stupidity
if its in UK try to scare your cousin's husband off, saying he is not legally allowed to have a second wife...if he doesn't hear, then your cousin can take legal action and tell the UK government about his crime (of marrying two women) the legal consequences will teach him a lesson!
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
Stylical if you are a woman, why don't you start the good work, and marry your husband to 3 more? and stop pointing out the social benefits of multiple marriages or the need of multiple marriages to other people, with out first really trying hard to reap those benefits and fulfill the social need yourself...go a head.... let us know of your experience, after you have done this, meaning married your husband to 3 more women....
if you have not aldready done this , (for the reason that your husband doesn't want to marry other women, but u want him to), then i am afraid you are still not in a position to point to its need/benefits ....
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
*In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life *?
According to the CIA fact book and several other sources, there are 100 women to every 111 men in Pakistan. So first off, your statistics are incorrect.
Second, no person, let alone a woman, needs to live a lonely life unless they choose to. In lesser sophisticated societies, the female gender faces more social issues than the male gender. If each married man marries a second time simply to eradicate sexual harassment and social misfortune against single women, we will eventually be living in a polygamist culture which is unacceptable by most.
In more simpler words, the fact is, even in today's contemporary world, some people hold firm beliefs that all or most of a woman's suffering will cease if she is attached to a man. The truth of the matter is, both genders need each other the same and rely on each other in similar fashions.
Unless we change this concept of dependance of one gender on the other to dependance of both genders on each other, we will not be helping either gender.
yaar after 14 years of marriage.. Teenage wali love per say start ho sakti hain? 