well he his a muslim but doesnt practice it, and the sikhni and him worked together at the same job they started talking as freinds and then they fell in love he says he didnt mean to it just happened.
Hey what agood advice i showed these replys to my cousin she says defnitly shell try saying this thanxs
If he is muslim then he is just using his right that religion gives him.
If the current wife does not approve then she should file for divorce, make sure gets atleast half of his assets and child support.
Re: please advise
This just re-enforces my views that women should be educated and financially independent. That way, emotional scars aside, if a husband comes in with this kind of news, the wife will not be completely devastated. Not sure if this lady-in-question has the financial means to support herself. Hopefully she is educated and has a job.
If not, then seems like the lady has a choice. Either be a divorcee with 3 kids and rely on financial support from her ex-husband (and family). Or agree to his second marriage and share her husband with another woman, and maintain the current life-style to an extent.
If she is financially independent and world-wise then she can kick him out on account of infidelity, and then take him to cleaners in a divorce settlement to completely ruin him for the rest of his life. That will be much more bitter-sweet than the emotional "cut him off" kinda advice. The years of life you invest with your spouse can never be returned, so lets not even go there.
By the way, the husband can only marry his sweetheart for a second marriage if the law allows it. US and other western countries do not allow multiple marriages.
he also says to his wife she would earn a good deed if she lets him go ahead with this because the other woman is a sikh and is ready to convert tro islaam.
Way to turn it around on her. Oh honey, you will earn good deeds if you destroy your life. Complete and utter BS. She should tell him she's in love with another man and wants to divorce him so she can take the kids to their new daddy.
ps: I would still cut his man parts off.
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Second marriage is not something to cry on, but if a man is marrying a widower or orphan .
I urge to my husband to go for it cause I really want to help someone who is in need.
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Do you really need to marry a woman or orphan to help them? Can't a man take on the responsibility of a woman financially? I send $$ to Pakistan to two families each month. I have taken on the responsibility of their groceries. If I had more to offer, I'd take on more. I didn't have to marry any of those women to help them. And I don't plan on having sex with any either.
Marrying to help is such a hypocritical notion.
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This is a very very serious situation. How disgusting is this other women. I mean you have to be really sick in the head in order to agree to share a man. This man's children are going to grow up hating him. If this man doesn't care enough about his wife and children than he isn't a man at all. Man where do these sick people come from. Tell your cousin to dump him, regardless of how much time, and love you have spent with someone. That does not give any human being the right to treat another one like this. How long is he going to be in love with this one? How long is it going to be until he finds another. Let him go and learn his lesson. After all as he ages he will realize 20 goes into 80 far more times than 80 goes into 20. UGH!
Do you really need to marry a woman or orphan to help them? Can't a man take on the responsibility of a woman financially? I send $$ to Pakistan to two families each month. I have taken on the responsibility of their groceries. If I had more to offer, I'd take on more. I didn't have to marry any of those women to help them. And I don't plan on having sex with any either.
Marrying to help is such a hypocritical notion.
THANK YOU!
I can understand where all of you guys are coming from and the thought of my husband falling in love with someone else after 13 years is pretty scary but look at the situation from the guys point of view. He didn't choose to feel that way about this other woman. Offcourse i am sure he was doing things such as talking to na-mehram on the phone while being married which offcourse all of you guys think is okay to do because a guy and a girl can be just friends. But this is the result of those things which we consider "halal" in todays society. And its too late for what he shouldn't have done, it sounds like he has made up his mind about marrying this other woman. And how come no one pointed any finger towards this other woman whoes wrecked a home? I think he did the right thing by telling her. He is way better than ba$tards who cheat on their wives and actually marry these women and think that its okay to lie to your wife about it. Your cousin has two options, either let him have a second wife or leave him. She has to think about the kids(i dont have any so i cant tell you what else comes with that). Most importantly, she has to consider herself. Is she going to be happy with a divorce? Can she go through a lifestyle where she has to share her husband? I am sure he will help out with kids if he is making her part of the decision. Can she support her self financially and emotionally? What kind of support will she get from her family and friends? And offcourse shes gonna have to consider re-marrying, but thats later.
I think any women in this world is much better off with a divorce, than being with a man that is with another women. Also emotionally financially she should be able to support herself. Accepting another woman in her husbands life would take a lot more out of her emotionally than just letting go.
:k:
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I had a friend once, who became obsessed with my husband, even tho he barely looked at her. She then announced to me and anyone else who would listen that she wants to b his 2nd wife.
When i told my husband that someone was volunteering to b his 2nd wife, he looked frightened and said, dont let her come here again.
I decided i could do without that friend in my life.
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OMG That's just scary.
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Seriously, it was rather disconcerting to say the least. It was actually a relief to cut all contact cos by that time she was ringing all the numbers she had for me threatening suicide if she didnt have my support etc.
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you sound calm..i'd be distraught to say the least.
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Well, it happened a couple of years ago so im over it now, as long as i dont c her or hear from her. If my husband had anything to do with it, then i would b distraught, but i know he didnt, she lived some way away, and the only time she saw him was if their paths crossed in our house, like in the hallway or something. She used to sit in the front room and watch for him to come home from work and then start the obsessive talk. Thing is he didnt even come in to say hi to her cos in some cases he prefers segregation.
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All the problems in the society are somewhat caused by women.. 
(ok plz dont bash me about this statement.. its my personal view based on whatever I see around me)
ok, so was this an arranged marriage?
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women??
if men had a bit more self control, i'm sure things wud be a little easier.?
Just can't believe it!!! Wht the hell was this man thinking, i'm sorry but u dnt just fall in love just like that, forgetting abt your kids and a wife u have been married to for 14 yrs !!!!
He is an absolute disgrace, and its stories like this that make me really upset, and to never marry, just can;t trust men at all .
This is why i just dont agree with this more than 1 marriage thing!!! I'm sure allah has his justifiable reasons for allowing it, he is all knowing but franlky men being men will just abuse it !!!!
I will pray 4 ure cuzn hope her Ba**** of a husband realises wht a big mistake all of this is!!