First of all, this is my first time posting something on Gupshup, altough I have been reading this forum for about half a year now and it has been a great help to me.
I guess this post will be more like a rant I think… I am so pissed my in-laws will get me my marriage dress for the valima and I can not even contribute my ideas.
Ufff!!! Why’s that??? Man, I just hope this dress wont be super-ugly. Has anyone any idea how to convince myself that I will not look like … :-(((( Did anyone had a similar experience? Right now I am just very frustrated, as I have already pictured the dress and all…
you're buying your own wedding dress though right? an probably they haven't told u anything about the valima dress b/c they don't know themselves. They probably want to keep their option open(thus not asking you) so they can get the best outfit. My aunt didn't ask her bahu and it was just because she wanted to be sure she bought the best dress, although my auntie has better taste than her bahu, so her bahu wasn't worried. but yea i hope everything works out for you and u have a beautiful dress IA!
aw dont worry! i went through the same thing, i didnt get to see the valima outfit until the day b4 my valima..i was so worried & guess wot i didnt like it, but they honestly thought it was the best thing in the market so i told them i loved it & everyone was happy- sometimes u jus have to b patient & go with the flow, if i had made a fuss it would've made me look bad.
so my advice would be stay quiet & hope for the best, inshallah ul love ur valima outfit & remember u get to buy ur wedding jora so jus make sure u buy the best thing & look how u want on ur wedding day x
My MIL made my mangni, shadi, and valima clothes. Though she asked me what I would like, the designs were still her own. I liked each outfit, mashAllah. I thought they were lovely, eventho I would've picked something different for myself.
You should not worry about it too much... InshALLah it'll be good, hope for the best!
In my opinion since Valima is ladkay walo ka func. let them choose ur valima outfit. they May have thought abt sumthing before, they always wanted to get for their bahu...
Why don;t u spend time thinkin about ut Barat outfit....
:-)) I am just a bit stressed out I guess... I should really go with the flow and simply accept it. Thank you for your advices, tough... :-))) (I won't create any fuss, I guess it is better to be grateful with what I will get. Hopefully, I wont look like paindoo bride :-D )
You're going to be beautiful Pesh. All brides are. It's the law, you see. :)
I didn't choose any of my dresses either. I don't live in Pakistan and I really didn't have a clue about what would look good so even if I had the option of picking things out, I wouldn't have known what to do. Enter MIL and SIL, two very fashion savvy women with hearts of gold...they made me feel like a princess with all the lovely things they had made for me. For the first time in my life, I felt really and truly beautiful. You just wait...Inshallah, it will be the same for you.
i think you'll be fine- obviously it won't be ugly or a piece of crap- its not really the way to welcome a new bahu, now is it?
from an in-law's perspective, you're making your own mehendi and shaadi clothes, right? so 2 out of 3 options are yours. this is one jora, for a few hours, and not even for the "main" event- so if you can't graciously accept and wear what your in-law's bring for you for a few hours, then how are you going to fit into their family for a lifetime? remember, a wedding is only for a few days, but a marriage is forever, iA and you should think about starting off your relationship with your in-law's on the right foot. this is their gift to you, to welcome you into their family and into their lives. its a BIG deal to them- they look forward to it and want to make it special for you. so don't fuss about it or insist on doing it yourself- it causes more harm than good, believe me.
i think you'll be fine- obviously it won't be ugly or a piece of crap- its not really the way to welcome a new bahu, now is it?
from an in-law's perspective, you're making your own mehendi and shaadi clothes, right? so 2 out of 3 options are yours. this is one jora, for a few hours, and not even for the "main" event- so if you can't graciously accept and wear what your in-law's bring for you for a few hours, then how are you going to fit into their family for a lifetime? remember, a wedding is only for a few days, but a marriage is forever, iA and you should think about starting off your relationship with your in-law's on the right foot. this is their gift to you, to welcome you into their family and into their lives. its a BIG deal to them- they look forward to it and want to make it special for you. so don't fuss about it or insist on doing it yourself- it causes more harm than good, believe me.
Yeah, you are right, it is better not to fuss about it. Anyways, we wont do Mehendi and Barat. For info: I am a "gora" getting married to a lovely man from Pakistan.
Yeah, you are right, it is better not to fuss about it. Anyways, we wont do Mehendi and Barat. For info: I am a "gora" getting married to a lovely man from Pakistan.
The key words in your message are "getting married to a lovely man".
Revel in that.
There are few people in this world that find love........you are one of the lucky ones.
May Allah grant you every happiness this world has to offer.
Oh lady, I didn't get to pick anything at all. Nothing. Shaadi.. they did it. Valima... they did it. ALLLLLLL of my barri they did it. I was living in the US and they did everything for me in Pakistan. Although they could've asked for my advice, they just simply didn't. They asked for colors but that's it. Even that didn't help much since they can't sitting in Pakistan tell what shade of red I am talking about. But anyway Valima, I didn't care much about because its their function and they should decide. Its only fair. That's been said, My outfits were amazing. I would've have ever thought they could do such a good job. I was very upset before shaadi but man oh man. They did a good job.
man that sucks
i would hate that
like its ur big day
why let them ruin it
talk to ur fiancee
thats what i did
In fact, I did talk to him about it, but he told me that his family regards it as their "task" to get a dress for me. Anyways, I got over with it. I am sure I wont look like a complete fool... Everything else between him and me is fine, so why waste precious energy on this thing?! And after all, it was not easy to get to this "marriage-stage"...
