Re: NO GIFT BOXES!
There's already an existing thread on this, I am merging this one with it.
its just desi mentality too u know... that u shouldnt tell someone what to give you, let them give you what they please because it is a gift and you should be thankful anyway...
but ppl fail to realize that now with student loans and mortagages etc, it really helps newly wed couples to have that cash on hand.
Here is what happens, since at desi weddings we have to invite everybody and their mother, there are alot of ppl there that arent very close and are acquaintences (spelling? lol) and these ppl are usually the ones who dont wanna give alot and dont also want to look cheap and hence end up giving gifts....
^do people actually give $15 and $20? ----- no offense - just a question? Is it okay to give that much and not feel "cheap"...
I would start doing that too - hehehe
Hahahah yes they do!
A distant relative of mine got married and my parents did so much for him and his family. Gave every member in their family presents, cash on their wedding and even we kids used to get annoyed that why do you need to.. but my mom was like no, they are our relatives, it's proper manners to do this. Anyway so after my nikkah, I was looking at the notebook where the salaamis were noted down, and I started laughing soooo hard when I saw his family had given us 21 bucks. And no, they are actually quite well settled and a doctor by profession so we assumed they were being kanjoos and nothing else. I could not stop laughing, it was so amusing. My mom was like shhh, koi baat nahi.. whatever they wanna give, that's still very generous of them. lol.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ WOW!! thats a bit too kanjoos that wont even by the pair of u dinner!! maybe through a drive thru but nutting more!! enjoy fast food from their saalami!! man tho that sux. i dont think there is ne thing rong with giving a small amount but not to a point where the person receiving it feels insulted and def. not from a distant relative and an entire family who attended the wedding. its funny how its $21 and not $20!! i wonder wut made them put in the $1???
Re: No boxed gifts please
^ the $1 is a pakistani thing...they do that in pakistan...101, 1001...dont knw why.
^ WOW!! thats a bit too kanjoos that wont even by the pair of u dinner!! maybe through a drive thru but nutting more!! enjoy fast food from their saalami!! man tho that sux. i dont think there is ne thing rong with giving a small amount but not to a point where the person receiving it feels insulted and def. not from a distant relative and an entire family who attended the wedding. its funny how its $21 and not $20!! i wonder wut made them put in the $1???
Hahah yeah!
Desis try to make it an odd number by adding 1 in there.. I have no idea why.
Hahahah yes they do! A distant relative of mine got married and my parents did so much for him and his family. Gave every member in their family presents, cash on their wedding and even we kids used to get annoyed that why do you need to.. but my mom was like no, they are our relatives, it's proper manners to do this. Anyway so after my nikkah, I was looking at the notebook where the salaamis were noted down, and I started laughing soooo hard when I saw his family had given us 21 bucks. And no, they are actually quite well settled and a doctor by profession so we assumed they were being kanjoos and nothing else. I could not stop laughing, it was so amusing. My mom was like shhh, koi baat nahi.. whatever they wanna give, that's still very generous of them. lol.
oh wow that's a shocker! Glad your family is taking it positively.
^ the $1 is a pakistani thing...they do that in pakistan...101, 1001...dont knw why.
I had asked the people in da village - what's up with that tradition?
They said, the extra $1 is suppose to be for good luck.
ummm so ye don't forget to shower them with good luck! =)
since its a case of good luck they meant good luck spending this money shay!!! :CareBear: hahahaha....j/k well at least they were thoughtful enough to wish u good luck if that is the case!!
^ the $1 is a pakistani thing...they do that in pakistan...101, 1001...dont knw why.
It's done here in the West also. I asked someone about it and I was told that the $1 is for sadqa.
oh wow that's a shocker! Glad your family is taking it positively.
Hahaha, the good thing about my parents is that when they do something, don't expect anything back in return so they didn't even care. But I found their kanjoosness very entertaining.
we went and bought toffee with it.. jk.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^i think its because they think giving the extra Rs.1/ $1 will make the amount odd and will bring good luck/ ward off the evil eye.
but yeh we had something similar at my wedding, my FIL literally gave tens of thousands of rupees to his daughter's BIL when he was getting married and the same to the guys mother who is my FIL's daughter's MIL and then gave a lot of money to the guy's first baby was born. whenever he goes there he gives money to their servants, etc. on our wedding, my husband paid for everyone to fly from lhr to khi and back, we had them stay at our hotel (5 star hotel, free of charge for 2 nights everything included), then they stayed at a hotel in isb for the valima (paid by my husband) and all they gave was Rs.500. i dont know if that was kanjoosi or hatred but something is definitely wrong with them.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^dang 
Re: No boxed gifts please
^^ wow...thats just sad
LOL!!! toffee huh dont u mean coffee?? (toffee still a bit more expensive) okay okay enough i shouldnt be poking fun at someone for what they gave!!
Re: No boxed gifts please
WOW!! not cool at all sumorani
Re: No boxed gifts please
sumo, i can relate! my inlaws are extremely confusing when it comes to gift giving and courtesy. it irritates the hell out of me, but for the sake of my husband, i've never really asked them what their deal is.
Re: No boxed gifts please
^honestly, i got very upset after my wedding. i have no BIL, no MIL, and 4 SIL's out of which 3 are married. In my family, whenever a man has gotten married, all my uncles and aunts give the bride gold sets. so ofcourse i thought id be receiving the same when i got married. instead, i got Rs.1000 each from 2 of the married sisters, nothing from the unmarried one (who also happens to be one of my closest friends), and $100 for the 3rd married sister and that was after the fact that we had a small wedding event in ny solely for her to attend cuz she couldnt make it to pakistan. and then my husband explained that unfortunately they dont have good inlaws so i sort of understood that but still believe if they really really wanted to give something to me, they could have (specially seeing how they only have one brother so i will be their only bhabi). but i dont really care much for it anymore cuz all of them are amazing and extremely caring and loving towards me so i guess i understand why i didnt get much. and my FIL did spend a lot of money and get me the diamond studs i had wanted for a really long time... so i guess i cant really complain :)
but i definitely can complain about my SIL's inlaws. they are just so weird. my FIL just went to pakistan a week ago and i strictly told him not to give money to any of those people. then i said, infact make sure u give MY SIL's BIL's son only Rs.100 just to make that man feel like the loser he is.