Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

If I ever face a situation where I have to decide between staying with my mom or wife, I will not only choose to stay with my mom but I will also kick my wife out of the house and divorce.

42

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Hahahahaha yea I heard it on tere mere beach main

43

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

deleted

44

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

What if ur mum hits ur wife or mistreats her??

I ask cos we've had a few stories in the media over here involving 'back home' wives being physically **abused **by their MILS whilst their husbands and the rest of the family stood by and kept quiet..

45

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

^ With that kind of husband and MIL, why would the wife want to move out with her husband and continue the marriage? She must be asking for divorce.

46

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Problems of having only one wife . One should always have a back up plan .

47

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

no sweet heart Its not insulting to my Parents they are fine with it , and WHO said that She should ABANDON her parents after Marriage ??

apne taraf say pure kahane bana li ??
kitne masoon hain aaj kal ki larkian yar

48

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

i thought u were white

49

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

If both are partly to blame, then in order to save both relationships, its best to move out.

People saying...'we'll easily get another wife but we cant get another mum' misunderstand the concept of marriage. Someone can just as easily say to you, 'well your mum will always be your mum regardless....best to save your marriage.' It works both ways.

Marriage is an institution that takes equal priority, especially when children are involved. Why do you think divorce is so abhorred in Islam?

50

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

When someone asks me what is wrong with our culture your post wins first prize!

51

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

whatever the man said :k:

52

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

I know of a case where the guy used to make buland-o-baang daawaas about how wife should be under control, etc etc before he got married .... after marriage, it was a different story altogether. Its been only 6 months since his marriage, his wife already has had jhagraas with his mom and sis. On top of that, he is blaming his mom and sister for the issues and making their lives hell... SHAME on such men.

53

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Sounds like you are booing the man for wife having had jhagra.

As to the question above.

This is where, the man's responsibility and communication skills needs to be utilized.

While there is never a possibility to leave mother, there is always a possibility to leave wife especially if she is responsible for the mess.

The best thing is to have some good distant relationship with every family member depending on their attitude and stay with wife if she is a good person overall and not the evil one.

54

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

I will not move out.

55

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Bingo! I agree wholeheartly. You see my situation somehwat falls in same line. And i am kind of person who likes to balance between both relationships. I would like to keep my wife happy and do everything in my ability to keep her happy. While this is true, my parents mean alot to me as well. I can never ever forget their sacrifice to get me educated to be a doctor. I mean they sold their house and lived in rented house to save cash for my education. Now Alhamdulli’lah, i have fullfilled their dream. We Alhamdulli’lah have beautiful house and in that house, i have full private “apartment” that i insha’allah intend to bring my wife when i get married and live happily.

56

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

such questions are the root of all the drama in desi marriages.

57

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Majority of desi families joint or not joint do have some balance. There is no need to strive for ideal situation. Similar situations do happen in non-desi families by the way. Human being are same. Men and women are same everywhere. Its just they ‘fight’ in English and we in desi language. :hehe:

58

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Typical Pakistani attitude. Mother over wife. Living with parents. Old age. All the stupid arguments.

My mother often tells me she would like me to move out when I get married because the joint family system breeds nothing but discord.

59

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

Please elaborate in detail about this “Back-up plan” :chai:

60

Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.

^sheyn he wants a package deal :@:

btw as someone said above, this question itself is the whole root cause of fasaad at home and to be honest there is not one answer to it. Many boys will move out with wives and many wont. Some wise will be lucky enough to find the mid way and save their marriages.

Parents want to see their kids happy, so parents should not force the son to stay with them if joint family is creating problems in his marriage life. But while telling him to move out, they should put some conditions, like he must visit them once in a week or so. Plus if parents are dependent on son financially, then the son must need to give them money monthly or whatever arrangement suits everyone. They can also demand from him to move somewhere near them so they can see each other.

as far as Wife is concerned, then she should not purposely create disturbance in family peace just coz she wants to move out. Though its her right to have a separate home but still you need not to be selfish n think about urself only.

Men in above posts who said they ll only choose to live with their mother, and rather one said he will divorce his wife, my sincere advice to them is they should not marry at all as they are happier with their moms anyway.