I think so too. And i believe its such a pity. When i see and hear about all that, i often pray to Allah that dont give me the himat and cruel mind to be upto such mess and dont give me such a loser of guy as a husband who would choose me over his parents unless they r after my life or making it hell. i cnt bring myself 2 imagine anybody at all being faithful to their wife if they havent been the same to their family with whom they have spent 25+ yrs.
Sadly it does happen! I know afew women that have great influence over their husbands.. to the point where the guys actually start to ignore their mothers.. £"$^%& I cant believe some women have that much influence over their husbands...
I think the husband should be clever enough to know how his mother his and if his wife can live with her. Once, he realises this.. he needs to take action if necessary.
Acha. So do you honestly think you can take care of your parents well enough after moving to a diff home? What about the grandchilds, they wont get to be with their grandparents everyday. Is that fair to both?.
Logically think. Is this what the parents do all the hardwork for all these years to live alone in the end? How does that make sense to anyone? pls explain to me.
Yes you can take care of your parents as well as your own family(wife and kids). Just because you live in a different home doesn't mean you are neglecting them. You can chose to visit them as often as you like and by living separate does not mean living in a different city or country. You can live as neighbors with your parents to make sure they are a part of your life as well.
The second thing, You mentioned that parents do all the hard work to raise their kids and kids move out in the end is not fair. Uhm excuse me what about girls. My parents and I am sure every parent works as hard to raise a girl as they do to raise a boy. Then why is it fair for a girl to move out leaving her parents alone? Why is it OKAY for girls to do that but its a Big No No for boys? What is the difference?
Let me clarify If a son lives separately and still live close by to his parents can fulfill all his duties towards his parents since those duties does not require leaving under a same roof. A son can still be there for his parents in time of need. And grandparents can still get to spend time with their grandkids these thing does not require living in a same house.
On a side note, I think wife and parents of the guy would get along more and peacefully in living separate then together.
Totally agree with Tklucky8.. and why is it disrespecting/abandoning parents if son wants to move out even just for a few years with his new wife yet it's perfectly fine if he chooses to go miles away (or even abroad) for uni or even move away for a new job when he could do those things whilst staying at home??
People in our culture need to stop blaming the girls for everything..
No real man would think he needs to choose between his wife and mum just like that anyway, he should be able to maintain a healthy balance and not let anyone 'pull his strings' or smother him like he is some child.
If he needs to support someone in a difficult situation he should support the person he feels is in the right,** not blindly the mother or the wife.**
Who says they have to choose? Most guys I know have the emotional and mental capacity to be able to keep both their mother and wife happy. Also, I'm pretty sure they're able to make their own decisions without being manipulated by either person.
What people need to do is to stop giving stupid ultimatums like "choose between your mother and wife" in the first place.
The second thing, You mentioned that parents do all the hard work to raise their kids and kids move out in the end is not fair. Uhm excuse me what about girls. My parents and I am sure every parent works as hard to raise a girl as they do to raise a boy. Then why is it fair for a girl to move out leaving her parents alone? Why is it OKAY for girls to do that but its a Big No No for boys? What is the difference?
lolz. if u want to argue for the sake of it then i m def not interested. I think its stupid to compare males and females and their responsibilities and rights. Because they are not same in any which way.
Yes, if its a family where the only child is a daughter then the responsibility lies with her to take care of her parents even if that means having them live with her. Even otherwise a women should take care of her parents and family to her max ability while maintaining a balance between her marital life. And hopefuly that answers your question.
lolz. if u want to argue for the sake of it then i m def not interested. I think its stupid to compare males and females and their responsibilities and rights. Because they are not same in any which way.
Yes, if its a family where the only child is a daughter then the responsibility lies with her to take care of her parents even if that means having them live with her. Even otherwise a women should take care of her parents and family to her max ability while maintaining a balance between her marital life. And hopefuly that answers your question.
My intention is not to argue nor to raise any question. It was a rhetorical question by the way.
My purpose was to enlighten you with factual information and respond to your earlier post and as you know that's the purpose of these threads.
Anyhow, in the end it your opinion and I could not and would not argue with you over it!!
This is for all the boys out here; married or unmarried, like to hear both povs actually.
So if your wife and mother dont get along and you think both r partly to blame for it bt your wife wants to move out and live independently. So in that case what would u do and your reasons for doing it?
This is for all the boys out here; married or unmarried, like to hear both povs actually.
So if your wife and mother dont get along and you think both r partly to blame for it bt your wife wants to move out and live independently. So in that case what would u do and your reasons for doing it?
From what I have observed in the 23 years of my life living in Lahore and observing my own large joint family and the families of my cousins and friends:
Whenever a guy becomes financially capable of moving out and managing a home on his own, then (sooner or later) he WILL move out, regardless of the fact that his mother and wife got along well or not.
Ofcourse, i am not terming this as a law. What i am trying to say is that majority (i would say 70%) would leave their parent's home if they could afford one.