This is for all the boys out here; married or unmarried, like to hear both povs actually.
So if your wife and mother dont get along and you think both r partly to blame for it bt your wife wants to move out and live independently. So in that case what would u do and your reasons for doing it?
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Problems arise when one relationship is given importance over others. Treat every relationship with ITS OWN RESPECT that it demands.
I’d want to live seperate from the start. My reasons:
My parents are not dependent on anyone, both work and are self-sufficient. They’re perfectly happy with my thinking. So me ‘abandoning’ them is a useless argument, as I have a brother who will stay with them for the foreseeable future. And when the time requires or they need assistance (they meaning both a guy’s parent’s AND the girl’s) I’d happily step in.
The girl, as I said earlier, is LEAVING HER HOME AND HER LIFE BEHIND, so to make it easier for HER to adapt and to make the new marriage work more smoothly i.e. getting to know each other better would be if the couple lives alone. There would be no politics or pressures or any expectations if the girl moved straight in the guy’s parents’ home
Living separate does not equate the girl closing the door to inlaws :no: I have never heard or witnessed that :no:
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
If I was a guy I would choose maaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Biwian to mil jatein hain nayi maa kahan se laonga? 
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
ya I would choose mother but to be fair on girls Islam never asks any bahu to take care of saas , Islam Asks Men to take care of our mother and fathers .
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Lolz. That’s Salman Khan’s line.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
ya I would choose mother but to be fair on girls Islam never asks any bahu to take care of saas , Islam Asks Men to take care of our mother and fathers .
Acha. So do you honestly think you can take care of your parents well enough after moving to a diff home? What about the grandchilds, they wont get to be with their grandparents everyday. Is that fair to both?.
Logically think. Is this what the parents do all the hardwork for all these years to live alone in the end? How does that make sense to anyone? pls explain to me.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Ok whatever works for you and since your parents are fine with it, i guess that works out for everyone. But honestly what world are you living in if you havent come across a situation like that?
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
wife won't win in this
the son's been with his mother since birth the wife he just met a little while back
why do husbands have to choose between the two, if the mother treated the wife with love and respect rather than arrogance and childishness, hopefully they act like adults and treat her parents nicely too, things can work out. i've seen real life examples of it working
it's not like the in-laws don't have a life, they need their privacy and space too. why can't a guy build a separate living area in the house for his parents with kitchen and bedroom?
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
wife won't win in this
the son's been with his mother since birth the wife he just met a little while back
that's precisely y i get shocked when i see some sons being the way they r with their parents. and i dnt think they can be trustful with their wives either cuz like they say...agar maa baap ka nai ban paya tu biwi ka kaise bane ga.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Acha. So do you honestly think you can take care of your parents well enough after moving to a diff home? What about the grandchilds, they wont get to be with their grandparents everyday. Is that fair to both?.
Logically think. Is this what the parents do all the hardwork for all these years to live alone in the end? How does that make sense to anyone? pls explain to me.
PLz dont get me wrong, As I said I would Always go for my mother regardless of any situation. I am only telling you I have not heard any verse from Quran about taking care of inlaws .
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
PLz dont get me wrong, As I said I would Always go for my mother regardless of any situation. I am only telling you I have not heard any verse from Quran about taking care of inlaws .
Nai i was genuinely asking you if its possible to have the kind of relationship, which i think every son shud have with their parents, after moving out of their home?!
When you say Islam doesnt ask the dil to take care of their in-laws, i want to ask you how is that possible? doesnt Islam ask us to be there for the poor, old and needy? fine yr parents mite nt be all that but they are gonna get old soon and how do u expect them to live a lonely life. If u want 2 move out, so wl yr other siblings. Rite? So then is their fate to live alone at that age? where they r bound to get sick often and need extra care and happiness around to lead a good life.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
***You see that’s the problem with our Paki version of Joint Family System ! 
Why must one be forced to CHOOSE ??
Why can they not strike a balance between both and live together in harmony. I’m not being idealistic but it is possible to live together while giving each other space and privacy. One can always live in the same house but have one’s own “Apartments” in order to ensure some sort of privacy and independence. It is a viable and better solution than breaking it off with one or the other as moving out in such circumstances usually means souring relations.***
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Typical comment can only come from a women… but the wife can change her husbands mind and we being idiots give our mother second priority!
ps. I noticed this thread was only opened in competition with mine! lool Love it.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
That’s fair enough.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Typical comment can only come from a women... but wife change the boyz and they give their mother second priority!
I think so too. And i believe its such a pity. When i see and hear about all that, i often pray to Allah that dont give me the himat and cruel mind to be upto such mess and dont give me such a loser of guy as a husband who would choose me over his parents unless they r after my life or making it hell. i cnt bring myself 2 imagine anybody at all being faithful to their wife if they havent been the same to their family with whom they have spent 25+ yrs.
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
oops sorry
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
Typical comment can only come from a women... but the wife can change her husbands mind and we being idiots give our mother second priority!
ps. I noticed this thread was only opened in competition with mine! lool Love it.
i've always heard men don't change after marriage
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
I am not maried my brother is and he is not living with mum only because he lives in different country I would really like to live with my mom after I get married and make sure I will find some one who understands that ..
Its not posible to have a same relationship with your parents once you move out when they get old they need presence more then any thing else .
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
I am not maried my brother is and he is not living with mum only because he lives in different country I would really like to live with my mom after I get married and make sure I will find some one who understands that ..
Its not posible to have a same relationship with your parents once you move out when they get old they need presence more then any thing else .
would you build a separate living area attached to your house with kitchen and bedroom or is that in some way insulting to your parents? it's still in the same house but i'm sure parents need their space, they don't need to be around their son/his wife all the time. they need privacy too right? do men have an objection to this? the kids will have family and grandparents around when they want
how do men feel about her parents? is she supposed to abandon them after marriage? will their be no family gatherings,thanksgiving, ramadan with her parents included?
Re: Mother or Wife? Pick One.
i don't understand why mother in laws never remember how it was for them when they were young bahus leaving their family how hard it is
they should be flexible, not arrogant and adjust just like the bahu tries to blend in.
one of my friend's in laws have yelled at her on several occasions in front of other family members so it's not going well for her. it was so embarrassing she just started crying instead of speaking up. she tried to blend in with his family and have fun but these sorts of hard times should be seen as a reason for the in laws to change and adjust too. not alienate her and her parents more.
pls dnt start this on this topic. edit this and u can take this to the concerned topic.