Are Pakistanis just socially awkward when they meet new people? Do we tend to stick in cliques and are we not warm and kind to people who are trying to join in?
I was talking to someone about this yesterday, and as they’ve lived in different places, they were like its like this everywhere, not just where I live.
Do you guys notice these patterns?
Re: Meeting New People
Not all Pakistani's are like this......but ya majority (I use that term loosley) do form clicks and don't like outsiders, at least from my experience
Re: Meeting New People
I think Pakistanis are pretty warm and open when it comes to socializing. Maybe its your expectation that is different
Re: Meeting New People
yes , and some of it is along the sectarian, ethnic, social status, mod v traditional, liberal v conservative, fob vs local, cool vs nerdy..
we keep reducing the circle of people we want to associate with and it has its pros and cons
Ofcourse its like that everywhere... I mean you can go to a gora party where only one person knows you... everyone will welcome you n stuff but imagine sitting on a table where everyone else is a friend and you're the new one, the strange one, the odd one... awkward!
You do however, slowly get to know them more and become more frank.
As far as hospitality goes... nothing beats the hospitality and the warm welcome of the pakistani villagers!
Re: Meeting New People
^the intial reaction is what is different from Pakistani’s and goray’s …goray will typically be really friendly and try to help you fit in ..while Pakistani’s usually ignore you for awhile…I guess their trying to assess you 
you are absolutely right about the villagers
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I mean you can go to a gora party where only one person knows you...
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No one invites PCG to gora parties, :(
Re: Meeting New People
the opposite. no one invites me to desi parties.
they're so clicque-ish down here. i try to talk to girls, and they will be short and resume chatting with their girlfriends.
the opposite. no one invites me to desi parties.
they're so clicque-ish down here. i try to talk to girls, and they will be short and resume chatting with their girlfriends.
How can you relate the attitude of these girls (who have probably lived outside pakistan all their lives) suffering from the "princess syndrome" to the rest of Pakistan?
I've seen this said many times on GS before: Not all 5 fingers are the same.
I do agree with you on this attitude bit to some extent... When I went to Pakistan last year for my sister's wedding, I could easily see lahori girls had some serious issues!!
But then, I also met some extremely nice, warm and welcoming people from lahore and especially those from villages. They make u feel like a celebrity, that's how much they try to make u feel comfortable.
Re: Meeting New People
Almost every desi person/family I come across is pretty warm and welcoming and very hospitable....there were a few not so nice people but thats okay....
the opposite. no one invites me to desi parties.
they're so clicque-ish down here. i try to talk to girls, and they will be short and resume chatting with their girlfriends.
if everyone or majority of people do that, then you may want to also look into how may you need to adjust how you approach or interact with people. Then the question os who is socially awkward.
I am not saying this to be mean, but so if you can asses and see if there is something you need to change then you do it, if not then well, you do your thing and ppl who dont want to interact let them be and dont waste your time on them.
Re: Meeting New People
I am probably the nicest and most sociable person I know.
Re: Meeting New People
Anyway, before this thread becomes about me. Let's get back to the main topic.
I am probably the nicest and most sociable person I know.
Portraying yourself as some angel (not saying god) it seems like. Wonder why do other Pakistanis not socialize with you. Only they can tell...
Re: Meeting New People
I think it is more to do with the fact we stick to what we are familiar with and comfortable with.
Re: Meeting New People
It depends on how long ago you took shower and changed clothes. If you smell like mirch masala then people will obviously stay away from you.
If you are sending negative vibes you cannot attract any friendly gestures.
If you have saria in your gardan nobody will want to shake hands with you. It is true everywhere.
OK OK the first sentence is redundant . :D
But everything else is true.
Re: Meeting New People
hi pcg, here is what i tell all my socially defunct clients
carry with you at all times a list of icebreaker topics.. these can be anything really, but try to avoid politics and religion. also, absolutely no mentioning your bodily functions at any point in the conversation. it could be something like this.
*PCG: Salaam Aunty. Kaisey hai aap? baal bachey? Uncle? Aap ka woh cute sa beta? :) :)
Aunty: ws. :|
PCG: Aur woh aaj mausam kitna hot thaa.. global warming ka hai zamana :(
*
Soon you will have a regular circle of acquaintances wherever you go, and you will have no trouble breaking into cliques. Good luck.
Re: Meeting New People
And also try not be too straight forward. Desi community considers it "mun phatt"
It works just fine in Western society but generally not among desis.
.. walks away