Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
You know I have seen a story happen in front of my own eyes JUST LIKE THIS ( minus the "love" marriage part) so believe me it's not worth ANY sacrificing. A man who is not able to divide his responsibilities between his mother and wife and is not able to respect BOTH equally, is not worth marring or loving.
And those same men would never put up with a wife and her family if they acted like that.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
So Nomi you'll happily tolerate hearing crap about your mom...especially about the lack money from your family...on the 4th day of marriage? When you're in a country that's not really yours and when you don't have your folks around you, you'll happily digest your MIL saying things like "My nephew would've been better for my daughter" and implying that you don't really match in the looks department while your wife sits back and watches? WHO does that? Seriously? This is so fully vile.
People are always very vulnerable and emotional when embarking on something new. So cut the girl some slack. Too bad girls do not often have the upper hand that guys do in Pakistani society. Too bad some people can't always be strong and patient. The first few days/months are supposed to be the best, pal.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
Too bad the men talking/posting here.. wouldn't have done the same had the same happened to their sisters or daughters :@:
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
So Nomi you'll happily tolerate hearing crap about your mom...especially about the lack money from your family...on the 4th day of marriage? When you're in a country that's not really yours and when you don't have your folks around you, you'll happily digest your MIL saying things like "My nephew would've been better for my daughter" and implying that you don't really match in the looks department while your wife sits back and watches? WHO does that? Seriously? This is so fully vile. People are always very vulnerable and emotional when embarking on something new. So cut the girl some slack. Too bad girls do not often have the upper hand that guys do in Pakistani society. Too bad some people can't always be strong and patient. The first few days/months are supposed to be the best, pal.
I will .. especially if i am in "LOVE" with teh person.....and i have to tolerate it only for a few weeks....
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
What were the OPs expectations coming into this marriage? That love will conquer all?
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
What were the OPs expectations coming into this marriage? That love will conquer all?
Apparently it seems so.... the "LOVE" was the only thing she considered when deciding to get into this marriage.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
I'll have to agree with nomi on certain points, MAYBE the OP didn't do her best to adapt herself and be patient. I mean she tells us about how she was bitten by mosquitos all night and had breakfast on her own, how is that relevant ? yes you're in pakistan, it's not canada, you won't find the same comfort but what did you expect ? and if they get up late how is that a problem ?
she says that she speaks her mind, well why do the complete opposite in front of her MIL and husband ? someone says anything bad about my mother, you bet i'm gonna reply, it doesn't mean i'll do it in a rude way, but at least if she had "an answer to every point" well she should said something.
i'm not giving reason to the husband, but is she would have spoken her mind form the start maybe it wouldnt have come to this and they wouldnt be abusing her
MAYBE !
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man …
Sadly, in our culture the role of the woman is to “put up and shut up” and if they deviate from that role they arent trying. :hinna:
I dont know when these things will change…aurat paoon ki jooti aur mard sar ka taaj.
Only a completely beghairat man will allow his wife to be treated in such a way.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
I'll have to agree with nomi on certain points, MAYBE the OP didn't do her best to adapt herself and be patient. I mean she tells us about how she was bitten by mosquitos all night and had breakfast on her own, how is that relevant ? yes you're in pakistan, it's not canada, you won't find the same comfort but what did you expect ? and if they get up late how is that a problem ? she says that she speaks her mind, well why do the complete opposite in front of her MIL and husband ? someone says anything bad about my mother, you bet i'm gonna reply, it doesn't mean i'll do it in a rude way, but at least if she had "an answer to every point" well she should said something. i'm not giving reason to the husband, but is she would have spoken her mind form the start maybe it wouldnt have come to this and they wouldnt be abusing her
MAYBE !
Cinnamonroll, I have to agree with you.
OP should have opened her mouth and stood up for herself.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
^ well maybe she was trying to be patient, as everyone is saying here! and see where THAT got her!
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
he has a bunch of women on his head controlling him. If u are expecting he is going to treat you like a princess ,he wouldnt .He has got a queen to take care of :).hope things work out for u.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
The problem ultimately boils down to one thing: Women. They seem to be quite the possesive type.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
So, did you leave him yet because otherwise, you are best compared to girls who cut themselves willingly.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man …
LOL I love how the ladies missed (or skipped) the point that this is one side of the story, possibly exaggerated, and you can’t possibly hand out conclusions and verdicts like candy based on that, and continued with their twaddle with a sad Bollywood song playing in the background. It is kind of touching though, all the personal insecurities and fears translating into posts. 
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
The guy is a very typical mama's boy!!!
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
The guy is a typical mama's boy!!!
The mom is a widow and the guy is the only brother of 5 sisters. This explains everything. We should understand the insecurities of the mother. Girls families consider such things when accepting a proposal for their daughter. The OP claims this to be a love marriage. Thus she knew what she was putting herself into and should have been prepared about the situations, although the situation turned out to be more complex than anyone would have imagined. But she should have known that her husband will be shared by 6 more women.
Its sad but I think this guy won't ever be able to have a happy marriage with any girl in the world unless the girl is deaf, mute and blind and lives like a puppet after marriage (in short Allah mian ki Gaayee).
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
The problem ultimately boils down to one thing: Women. They seem to be quite the possesive type.
If such moms are so possessive of their sons, then they better don't get them married off in the first place rather making those girls marrying their sons miserable!
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
The mom is a widow and the guy is the only brother of 5 sisters. This explains everything. We should understand the insecurities of the mother. Girls families consider such things when accepting a proposal for their daughter. The OP claims this to be a love marriage. Thus she knew what she was putting herself into and should have been prepared about the situations, although the situation turned out to be more complex than anyone would have imagined. But she should have known that her husband will be shared by 6 more women.
Its sad but I think this guy won't ever be able to have a happy marriage with any girl in the world unless the girl is deaf, mute and blind and lives like a puppet after marriage (in short Allah mian ki Gaayee).
So, does that mean, such guys have no rights to get married off & be happy with their wives!?
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
So, does that mean, such guys have no rights to get married off & be happy with their wives!?
They should only get married according to their moms wishes and there is still no guarantee that the guy will have a happily married life.
Re: Marrying a Pakistani man ...
They should only get married according to their moms wishes and there is still no guarantee that the guy will have a happily married life.
So, such moms happily accept those girls chosen by themselves & would be happy sharing their sons with them?