Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Hydro is good. Good, clean electricity
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Absolutely. Another thing that I noticed about hyderabadis… they are very self effacing… they don’t take themselves seriously and often joke about themselves…
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
By traditional I mean conservative.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
You guys live in foreign land, be friend with other culture, but when it comes to people of your own land, you think that your friend will feel out of place. 
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
No glares buddy, fikar naat! This whole thread is so ridiculous I don’t have anything more to say lol
What’s the difference? Well, given that my grandparents were born in the early 1900’s and lived in pre partition India for the bulk of their lives, they held on the cultural norms of that era in that you “give” your daughters away so sending them to ghair khandaans where the taur tareeqay are completely opposite was considered a no-no. When you get your son married, he’s not going anywhere, his wife is coming in and adapting to her inlaws way of life, not vice versa…is it really that hard to understand?
Btw, my sister is getting married to a 100% punjabi guy whose family is from Lahore and they are lovely people. I couldn’t be happier for her…my bad…I should have opened up a fear mongering thread titled “would you marry a punjabi guy”…I’d love to see how that would go over 
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
That’s the thing though RV…we all have different sensibilities. In my experience, I’ve noticed Punjabis are a bit brash…but that’s just me. They’re usually a bit louder, less takalluf and less formality. Does it offend me? No. Not really. I live in a city that is too diverse to be offended. Its just a type of marker showing how we treat situations differently. For some people though, these things are a big deal.
Good point.
To the OP:
Your friend seems to have no problem being desi and living in the West. But she has an issue with another type of desi?
I don’t know…it seems as if your friend is better off not marrying into this family. They will judge her and she will judge them. Why go there if you cannot approach a situation with an open mind and realize that in some part of the world…you’re the strange one with the odd habits? You don’t think the family you marry into will notice the hesitance in learning their culture and mingling with them? The superiority complex that seems to be peek-a-boo-ing in this thread? You don’t think that will cause offense?
It seems as if this thread was opened with the intention of making fun of hydros. If you’re thinking that some hydro will read these posts and think “oh wow, we’re really like that?”…you’re wrong. LOL. They will tell you what’s wrong with you. They will bring up a few things about Punjabis that are not so wonderful and that’s exactly what happened here.
Really, just don’t marry into a family if you’re that judgmental about them. Koi zabardasti nahin hai. I am sure they will find someone else who can manage things better. Har kisi ke bass ki baat nahin hoti hai shaadi.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
First of all I was being very respectful in asking opinions from other people. I don’t think you should be calling other people’s thread ridiculous.
Second of all, it is hard to understand this mentality as no one in our family has ever talked about it but thank you explaining it.
And why even talking about punjabis, this thread is not to divide but ask opinions, seriously!!!
p.s I know this hyderabadi doctor and he is the nicest person ever and I remembering helping him tremendously and vice versa so please Chill.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
good point but only if everyone thought like that and this thread proves that its ok in some situation to marry in one background and not in other situations. jab matlab hota hey to punjabi theek hain otherwise no we don’t bring their dauhters blah blah
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
**
you knew my intentions of opening this thread? I had none believe me.
I can’t believe people are taking this thread to another level. My friends is just a little hesitant as everyone is before they get married so I thought I would ask it here.
That is actually very mean and hurtful statement about someone that you don’t know.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
You know a Hyderabadi doctor..great! Congratulations!
And I am extremely chilled, don’t worry. The reason I called this thread ridiculous is because your tone throughout has been like Hydros are some sort of alien life form or something so foreign it’s out the realm of consciousness to e even consider marrying one. One poster says that hyderabadi women are loud and overbearing and Bam! your red flags go up…one person says they know someone whose chachi ki bhanji ki nand ki devrani ki parosan married a Hyderabadi and got divorced (there’s that famous exaggeration again!) and you freak out.
Had you approached this thread asking something like “what are some cultural or ethnic differences a non Hyderabadi person may encounter when considering marrying into a Hydrabadi family” you wouldnt have come across as poking fun or condescending.
Good luck to your friend or whomever this is really about.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Don’t twist my post or words around. If you have something to say to me address it directly please.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
congratulations to your sister for finding a punjabi guy!!! good for her, she is very lucky!
where did I poke fun at hyderabadis? please don’t blame me for other people’s comments!
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
You can blame me for that.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Where did Punjabis come from in a thread about Hyderabadis? But then again, I didn’t read every single post so forgive me. But I have to say I don’t understand why Urdu speaking communities are often drawing comparisons with Punjabis? You rarely hear them match themselves against Pakhtoons, Sindhis, Balochis, Kashmiris, Hazaras. Why? Why this need to always use Punjabis as an ultimate criteria? Punjabis have their own set of pretty negative and hurtful stereotypes about the Urdu speaking community. In fact it might be interested to see reaction of some of the posters here the day people openly start confessing how their families can’t stand Urdu speaking people, and for what reasons or preconceived notions.
This whole never ending Punjabi loud and brash vs Urdu speaking communities being oh so sophisticated and meek comparisons remind of the drama Dolly ki Ayai gi barat, really. The drama successfully projected every single popular Punjabi stereotype against ‘Karachi ki gentry’. Punjabi family was portrayed as loud, abrupt and feisty folks with raw manners whereas the Karachi characters were shown as mild mannered, hesitant and emotionally mature. Yet the drama actually became a huge success because of the Punjabi characters! They were the soul of entire series and the real entertainment. To me that kinda sums a lot of things about Punjabis, their supposed flaws can easily translate into something so likeable and positive. That drama indeed sent out a very important message.
And to be honest, I don’t Punjabis in general have ever bothered about brandng themselves as oh so prim and proper people. They’re more than happy to admit and remain loud and proud.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
kek
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Naa bro, we’re cool!
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Now that is rude.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
I know it can be flattering to assume that others - even the much-despised “Urdu speaking community”- are using the group one belongs to as the “ultimate criteria” but in this thread it was a Punjabi who first made the comparison between Hyderabadis and Punjabis:
It was just a candid perspective; no malice was intended towards Hyderabadis, I am sure. Although elsewhere there is a stereotyping galore going on against them. Which is unfortunate.
By the way Hyderabadis are not strictly speaking “Urdu speaking community.” They are much more than just the language they speak. And have a very distinctive ethnic identity that they have every right to be proud of. At least the ones who live outside Pakistan don’t have to be ashamed of their Hyderabadi or Indian heritage. If I were a person of Hyderabadi descent, I would be little offended if someone categorized me as the catchall “Urdu speaking” group. More so if they did so while being perched on a high horse, haranguing about the perceived tendencies and traits of the latter.
Personally I don’t think OP’s intentions were bad..its the people who commented afterwards how their everything is so much better than hydro’s yet want to marry a hydro.
For people who didn’t read everything, the comparison between hydros and punjabis were brought not by OP but the other two offensive poster … Who think everything Punjabi is better, and hydros should be looked down upon. I think they are getting into forced marriage or something. If I had such negative views about someone, I would make my life easy and won’t marry them. Simple as that.
Re: Marrying a hyderbadi
Awww…was that a jab at me? Adorable. 
Okay, so you both found it rude? I didn’t mean to offend. In my defense, I wasn’t upset or angry writing this post. I was simply stating my opinion…not trying to hurt you. But its interesting how it did.
In the same way…you posted a thread that implied Hyderabadi people are some sort of alien life form (in the words of Khatti). As if they have antlers sprouting out of their heads…or seven toes or something of that nature. I can almost hear you asking “what are they?” LOL. And it offended some people…they found it rude and obnoxious. I am not Hyderabadi and even I found it obnoxious
Anyway, if you take anything away from this thread…it should be that even if you married into a Punjabi family, it makes no difference. You will still have a learning curve because every family has their own lifestyle. What was important for your mother will not be important for your MIL and vice versa. You will adjust to how they cook, live, talk and even learn to interact with their social circle. If you cannot keep an open mind then marriage is not a good idea right now. Your friend is marrying INTO another family…they’re not marrying into her’s. She will have to adjust…not them.