Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
u have to tell them eventually. if I were u I would have tell them with in a day.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
nah, in india personal law like marriage, divorce, inheritance, adoption etc is separated by religion (really lame, but if you know india, you know how much paperwork is involved in doing any fking thing). common law is only for other issues. out of these, christian law has always been fairly up to date as it was primarily meant for anglo-indians, hindu law was reformed and modernized in the 50s to be on par with christian law, muslim personal law is still pretty much what it was in the 1800s. afaik, even dowry is legal for muslims in india as per the law of the land. this when islam prohibits it, and everyone else has it illegal in india. thats how messed up things are.
i'm guessing you flunked your social studies classes pal. :p
Apparently so !! It's certainly only common civil code and muslim personal code that gets talked about. I assumed those were the only ones that existed. What do sikhs/jains use?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
hindu/sikh/jain/buddhist all get clubbed under hindu code bills.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
hindu/sikh/jain/buddhist all get clubbed under hindu code bills.
So, I guess I'll be ok as long as nobody wants me to burn on a pyre :p
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
My question about the burning of your dead husband was rhetorical. You answered negatively to this. In light of this, if you died before your husband, would he be able to watch you be buried? In Islam, men are expected to go to the graveyard to bury their loved ones and those which they are mahram to. Oh, and what about the prayers - would there be a janazaa? Or something that Hindu's do? Or a mixture of both?
Didn't mean to be rude btw, I just found it bewildering that funeral arrangements should be a sticking point when there is so much else to trip us up while we're still alive.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
... Farimasait, how long have you known him? Do you know if his family approve or disapprove of the two of you being together?
For about 6 yrs now....
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
For about 6 yrs now....
That's long enough. How old are you?
Just tell them. Be prepared for the furnace blast, weather it and get on with it. Oh -- you didn't mention if they had ever met him...?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
That's long enough. How old are you?
Just tell them. Be prepared for the furnace blast, weather it and get on with it. Oh -- you didn't mention if they had ever met him...?
- He's 26.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
There's no good way to do it. They won't be happy about it. But they may come to accept it ...eventually.
Just don't keep dragging other people into it by meeting rishtas and such.
And make sure you're sure about each other.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Hi all, My folks are thinking of finding rishtas for me. It's a topic that's been cropping up a lot in conversation lately. What's the best way of breaking it to the parents that I've already found my partner? Would it be best to tell them straight away? Some of my friends have suggesred turning down a number of rishtas so they kind of get a hint and ask me themselves - and then I could tell them. Would they be more receptive that way? It doesn't seem fair to potential rishtas to deal insincerely with them.
.. ..
P.S The situation is futher complicated by the fact that the man I love is from a different religion. I want to do this just right so there's as little stress as possible for everyone concerned. I'm more worried about how dad might react than I am about mom... Do you know anyone who's done this? How did they convince their parents?
Appreciate any inputs...:)
You have to choose between religion and love. Your call.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
i said **'mostly'**** and i imp0lied *muslim *families.**
Again I ask: Why?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
You have to choose between religion and love. Your call.
I repeat: it's just a sin, NOT quitting your religion. Oh Pure One, have thou never sinned?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
nah, in india personal law like marriage, divorce, inheritance, adoption etc is separated by religion (really lame, but if you know india, you know how much paperwork is involved in doing any fking thing). common law is only for other issues. out of these, christian law has always been fairly up to date as it was primarily meant for anglo-indians, hindu law was reformed and modernized in the 50s to be on par with christian law, muslim personal law is still pretty much what it was in the 1800s. afaik, even dowry is legal for muslims in india as per the law of the land. this when islam prohibits it, and everyone else has it illegal in india. thats how messed up things are.
i'm guessing you flunked your social studies classes pal. :p
Glad to know! Thanks! :)
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
You have to choose between religion and love. Your call.
she is not abandoning religion, just getting marry with guy from other religion.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
^ Against her religion's teachings.
It's one thing when a Muslim woman marries a Christian or Jew, given the allowance for males.
But marrying someone who believes in shirk and making a home with that person and raising a family with that person -- these are not simple tasks where you can simply have a "to each his own" attitude. Sounds lovely in ideal terms. But the real world does not work that way.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
O bhai LogOn - if she wants to live in a state , which is called ' Zina ' as per the religion she currently follows , and has no grief over it ... let her do it !
what's your father goes :D
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Sounds lovely in ideal terms. But the real world does not work that way.
Ahan? So how does the "real" world works? Any two people without bias against each other can live together.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
u have to tell them eventually. if I were u I would have tell them with in a day.
Looking at your philosophy of life it is highly unlikely that you will fall for a Mishrik who refuses to convert for love.
I repeat: it's just a sin, NOT quitting your religion. Oh Pure One, have thou never sinned?
It is not a sin which will end after once , twice or in a few year , it is a sin which will last lifetime. She is adult she can make her own decisions , but it is our job being fellow Muslims to let her know what is at stake.
O bhai LogOn - if she wants to live in a state , which is called ' Zina ' as per the religion she currently follows , and has no grief over it ... let her do it !
what's your father goes :D
Ever heard of "amer bil maroof and nahi unill munkir" ? That is what all fellow Muslim are trying to do here. It is not philosophy of Islam that if someone is about to jump off the cliff , you give them a push instead you provide them a parachute to make a safe landing and not become a meatball. :D
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
once a person is married and living under the same roof differences of even the smallest belief have full tendency to get really ugly and cause rifts bw the couple. And when it comes to kids parents would always want the best for them. Also keeping the balance b/w both religions at home would be a real hard task.
Secondly why is it that we call ourselves Muslims and say we follow Islam yet we have our own Religion of Convenience. We adapt the teachings and mold them according to our needs? That's hypocrisy! Islam = complete submission to Allah ! So it's either you are in or out. You are an adult. You obviously have complete right to live the way you want and marry the person you want. Even your parents can't force you to marry someone you don't want to.
But please don't make it hard for your parents and tell them now of your intentions. The more you drag this the more hurt you would be causing. Also please when you know the marriage is Islamically totally invalid then don't keep hoaxing yourself to be Muslim and have Muslim-Hindu kids because that would only make things really hard for your future children in terms of faith and what to believe.
So it's better to turn atheist or admit that you no longer are Muslim and then marry this person. At least you wouldn't be leading a double/confused life this way and you wouldn't be creating problems for your own future children later.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
It is not a sin which will end after once , twice or in a few year , it is a sin which will last lifetime. She is adult she can make her own decisions , but it is our job being fellow Muslims to let her know what is at stake.
I agree, but my problem was you guys calling it quitting. Quitting means Shirk and there is no forgiveness for shirk. There is a very large difference between being punished in the hellfire for a set time (or not punished since Allah SWT is the Most Merciful and He says that he may forgive all sins except the violations of human rights and Shirk) and being punished FOREVER.