Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Looking at your philosophy of life it is highly unlikely that you will fall for a Mishrik who refuses to convert for love.
It is not a sin which will end after once , twice or in a few year , it is a sin which will last lifetime. She is adult she can make her own decisions , but it is our job being fellow Muslims to let her know what is at stake.
Ever heard of "amer bil maroof and nahi unill munkir" ? That is what all fellow Muslim are trying to do here. It is not philosophy of Islam that if someone is about to jump off the cliff , you give them a push instead you provide them a parachute to make a safe landing and not become a meatball. :D
well said Mirch bhai! Why keeping mum over something you believe is wrong and it could lead to OP's life becoming really tough ..just not to appear err too religious/fundamentalist?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
So it's better to turn atheist or admit that you no longer are Muslim and then marry this person. At least you wouldn't be leading a double/confused life this way and you wouldn't be creating problems for your own future children later.
One, it is utterly impossible to not believe in Allah if you do believe. Second, I'm sure you have commuted sins in your life. Did you turn atheist before/after sinning.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
One, it is utterly impossible to not believe in Allah if you do believe. Second, I'm sure you have commuted sins in your life. Did you turn atheist before/after sinning.
Yes there is a difference in committing a *minor *sin and repenting over it sincerely...than *contemplating *on something you know is a sin and is considered haraam but still doing it. More like committing a sin and repenting vs living in sin !
And I can assume anyone who believes in Allah wouldn't want to do anything that He utterly forbids. Talking about Gunnah-e-Kabeera such as drinking, gambling, zina, shirk etc etc. Why defying his word if you believe and submit yourself to Him? Hypocrisy. Isn't it?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
once a person is married and living under the same roof differences of even the smallest belief has full tendency to get really ugly and cause rifts bw the couple. And when it comes to kids parents would always want the best for them. Also keeping the balance b/w both religions at home would be a real hard task.
Secondly why is it that we call ourselves Muslims and say we follow Islam yet we have our own Religion of Convenience. We adapt the teachings and mold them according to our needs? That's hypocrisy! Islam = complete submission to Allah ! So it's either you are in or out. You are an adult. You obviously have complete right to live the way you want and marry the person you want. Even your parents can't force you to marry someone you don't want to.
But please don't make it hard for your parents and tell them now of your intentions. The more you drag this the more hurt you would be causing. Also please when you know the marriage is Islamically totally invalid then don't keep hoaxing yourself to be Muslim and have Muslim-Hindu kids because that would only make things really hard for your future children in terms of faith and what to believe.
So it's better to turn atheist or admit that you no longer are Muslim and then marry this person. At least you wouldn't be leading a double/confused life this way and you wouldn't be creating problems for your own future children later.
Hold up! You don't just decide to give up belief in God one day. It either was never with you or you lose it gradually due to your circumstances. It's not like you step in a Majid and read Shahada and become muslim in a jiffy. Belief in God has to be there before someone embraces a religion.
In OP's case, it's likely she will lose faith in her religion as she already seems very inspired by her BF's religion. But I highly doubt she will give up her belief in God.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Hold up! You don't just decide to give up belief in God one day. It either was never with you or you lose it gradually due to your circumstances. It's not like you step in a Majid and read Shahada and become muslim in a jiffy. Belief in God has to be there before someone embraces a religion.
In OP's case, it's likely she will lose faith in her religion as she already seems very inspired by her BF's religion. But I highly doubt she will give up her belief in God.
True. She has alot of time to think over it. Am not asking her to revert overnight. All I am saying is if she's so bent upon this idea of marriage she should seriously consider renouncing religion rather than hoping for kids to be both Muslims and Hindus. It would save her alot of trouble if she really wants to make her marriage work. Why the religion of convenience thing - Yes I believe in Allah but i don't want to follow what He says sounds very hypocrite...
A person's religon and belief is their personal matter..am ok with it but if any act he/she does against their religion which could bring them more harm than good and if other people too would be affected by it, it shouldn't be encouraged at all ! [And no, the trouble is just not confined to convincing parents, kids saying Salam or Namaste or the funeral priorities. There's a big chasm beyond it.]
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
I agree, but my problem was you guys calling it quitting. Quitting means Shirk and there is no forgiveness for shirk. There is a very large difference between being punished in the hellfire for a set time (or not punished since Allah SWT is the Most Merciful and He says that he may forgive all sins except the violations of human rights and Shirk) and being punished FOREVER.
I did not call it quitting the religion. I told her that she cannot marry a Mushrik unless she denounces her religion. Islam clearly forbids Muslim women to marry a Mushrik . If one marries a Mushrik to whom she may stay married till death then she will be in a constant state of sin. Sin is something one commits and repents and Allah(SWT) may out of Allah's mercy forgive one. But what is the way out of this constant state of sin ? None, other than separation or avoiding to get married and stay away from this sin altogether.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
I did not call it quitting the religion. I told her that she cannot marry a Mushrik unless she denounces her religion. Islam clearly forbids Muslim women to marry a Mushrik . If one marries a Mushrik to whom she may stay married till death then she will be in a constant state of sin. Sin is something one commits and repents and Allah(SWT) may out of Allah's mercy forgive one. But what is the way out of this constant state of sin ? None, other than separation or avoiding to get married and stay away from this sin altogether.
Ah, but no matter how big a sinner you are, you will remain Muslim as long as you believe in Allah SWT (and in Muhammad SAW). That was the point I was trying to make.
Say, for example a person is constantly practicing Zina, his sins will still be forgivable as long as he has not denounced Allah SWT.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Ah, but no matter how big a sinner you are, you will remain Muslim as long as you believe in Allah SWT (and in Muhammad SAW). That was the point I was trying to make.
Say, for example a person is constantly practicing Zina, his sins will still be forgivable as long as he has not denounced Allah SWT.
as far as I remember, its a hadees that "maafi ki ummed per keya gay gunnah sub sai badtar gunnah hai"
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
I did not call it quitting the religion. I told her that she cannot marry a Mushrik unless she denounces her religion. Islam clearly forbids Muslim women to marry a Mushrik . If one marries a Mushrik to whom she may stay married till death then she will be in a constant state of sin. Sin is something one commits and repents and Allah(SWT) may out of Allah's mercy forgive one. But what is the way out of this constant state of sin ? None, other than separation or avoiding to get married and stay away from this sin altogether.
It kind of makes me flinch when someone calls him a Mushrik. Like I said, the sect he belongs to does not do idol worship. There are people, some mughal scholars among them, who consider Hindus (at least Vedic Hindus) people of the book.
Maybe I'm just kidding myself here, but still, it's something to keep in mind.
Why should the 'ahl-e-kitaab's be confined to a small area of the middle east? Surely, there would have been revelations made to other civilizations India, China etc. albeit these have been quite corrupted with the passing of time. And, you'll admit they had a lott of time to get corrupted in...
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
It kind of makes me flinch when someone calls him a Mushrik. Like I said, the sect he belongs to does not do idol worship. There are people, some mughal scholars among them, who consider Hindus (at least Vedic Hindus) people of the book.
Maybe I'm just kidding myself here, but still, it's something to keep in mind.
Why should the 'ahl-e-kitaab's be confined to a small area of the middle east? Surely, there would have been revelations made to other civilizations India, China etc. albeit these have been quite corrupted with the passing of time. And, you'll admit they had a lott of time to get corrupted in...
Did you do your own research or did he tell you what you know about Vedic Hindus ?
You are in love and you are coming up with all kinds of logical arguments to achieve your goal specially since he has his own set of beliefs and has refused to leave those beliefs just to marry you. In his case his beliefs are stronger than his love. His belief system does not forbid marrying a Muslim therfore he is not making any compromises but you are compromising your belief system which clearly forbids Muslim women to marry a mushrik.
Since you are saying that you are Muslim and will stay Muslim even after you have married him . I hope being Muslim you believe that Allah will question you on this action of yours which is clearly against the guidance provided by Allah , what kind of answer or logic you have prepared for that day ?
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
i'm guessing she'll say something similar to what you'll say when asked why did you not have a beard when it is wajib, or why your pants were longer than your ankles etc..
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
i'm guessing she'll say something similar to what you'll say when asked why did you not have a beard when it is wajib, or why your pants were longer than your ankles etc..
i know you are not Muslim and will not have that depth of knowledge about Islam which you are pretending to have so I will ignore your comment and let the OP answer my question.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
Did you do your own research or did he tell you what you know about Vedic Hindus ?
You are in love and you are coming up with all kinds of logical arguments to achieve your goal specially since he has his own set of beliefs and has refused to leave those beliefs just to marry you. **In his case his beliefs are stronger than his love. His belief system does not forbid marrying a Muslim therfore he is not making any compromises but you are compromising your belief system which clearly forbids Muslim women to marry a mushrik.
**Since you are saying that you are Muslim and will stay Muslim even after you have married him . I hope being Muslim you believe that Allah will question you on this action of yours which is clearly against the guidance provided by Allah , what kind of answer or logic you have prepared for that day ?
Umm, I see the point. My two good friends from highschool got married two years ago. The girl is muslim and the guy is christian. For the longest time, she turned him down saying her religion doesn't recognize such a marriage until she fell head over heels in love with him. However, his love for her was stronger than his faith. He talked to his parents and figured out everything before she even said a word. Neither converted and are happily married. They have a kid too now.
So yeah like we siad earlier, make sure he is ready on his part. It does seem like he cares more about his beliefs than you
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
i know you are not Muslim and will not have that depth of knowledge about Islam which you are pretending to have so I will ignore your comment and let the OP answer my question.
i don't know why it is so hard to understand that she isn't that obsessed with religion. clearly if she was, she wouldnt be with a non-muslim guy for 6 years. your questions are not what she is asking about if you read the first post. this isn't hey convert me to islam, its about how do i tell my parents ima disappoint them.
Re: Love match - What's the best way of breaking it to the parents?
i don't know why it is so hard to understand that she isn't that obsessed with religion. clearly if she was, she wouldnt be with a non-muslim guy for 6 years. your questions are not what she is asking about if you read the first post. this isn't hey convert me to islam, its about how do i tell my parents ima disappoint them.
I have no problem with her marrying whoever she wants to .
She said she prays , she fasts etc , she said she is not converting or leaving her religion that is why I am trying to tell her that what she is doing is against the belief system she says she belongs to and will continue to belong to.
If she goes and marries a toad what can I do ? But it will still be against the our belief system. Why do I care ? because I feel an obligation to give her the right message, as per our teaching of our belief system , it is up to her to take it or leave it. In the end she is responsible for her action , not I.
you have a point. I agree and take my stance back on denouncing the religion. Allah knows the best.