**Carry me in your arms…
**[
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to say it. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, " you are not a man!" That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did’nt care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she has, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come close and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realized that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until one of us departs this world. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build a relationship.Author: Unknown
Courtesy: www.everymuslim.net ](“http://www.everymuslim.net/")]("http://www.everymuslim.net/index2.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=195&pop=1&page=0&Itemid=42”)
Re: Little things that matter...
thats so nice. :)
Re: Little things that matter…
Re: Little things that matter...
Thanks for sharing.
Re: Little things that matter...
wowwww.....
Thanks a lot for sharing bro. A wake up call for all the married couple who are unhappy for all the wrong reasons. :)
Re: Little things that matter…
Thanks brother for sharing such a nice story. :k:
Re: Little things that matter...
i dont get it all ...what is the moral of the story ? cheat on your wife and then when she emotionally blackmails u give in without a fight ?
na deen kay na dunya kay ?
Re: Little things that matter...
She was a smart woman...nice website by the way..jazakallah
Re: Little things that matter...
i dont get it all ...what is the moral of the story ? cheat on your wife and then when she emotionally blackmails u give in without a fight ? na deen kay na dunya kay ?
That instead of working on the marriage, he just took the "problems" for granted and instead of even trying to work at it, he was abt to thrwo away his life for someone else? And why shouldn't the wife "emotionally blackmail" him (what a ridiculous description of her actions)? After all, shes married to him, she has more rights to try and do whatever she can to keep him and fix their home life than any girl whose sleeping with a married man does right?
Re: Little things that matter...
^^True, she most definitely does have that right.
Re: Little things that matter...
That instead of working on the marriage, he just took the "problems" for granted and felt divorce was the best answer? And why shouldn't wife "emotionally blackmail" him, after all, shes married to him, she has more rights to try and keep him than any girl whos sleeping with a married man would right?
well it dosent clarify what the problems are ? it seems that the main problem was that the guy was cheating on her ....which is adultry ...nowhere is it in the story that the guy repented because of fear of God ...rather it was sympathy + emotional blackmail of his wife which made him change his mind....so from a religious point of view whats the point of this being in the religion section? regardless of how he feels about his wife his actions were wrong ....
the story rather downplays the significance of the great sin of adultry and highlites the importance of the sentimental attachment b/w a husband and wife as the main reason of the makeup
Re: Little things that matter...
^ So you just have a problem with as to why its in the religion section, when theres no mention of religion in it?
And why do you keep calling it "emotional blackmail"? Does the wife not have the right to even try and fix her own marriage? Maybe, despite his atrocious actions, she actually loved her husband and wasn't prepared to ruin her life and her son's life with a divorce. And instead of trying to convine him, she took a passive-aggressive approach to get him to realize what he was about to throw away?
Had she kept the assets that the husband was prepared to give her, people would be complaining that divorce only benefits the greedy wives........
Re: Little things that matter...
^ exactly ....? is that too much to ask ?
Re: Little things that matter...
Well, I guess we can let Crescent answer ur Q :D
Re: Little things that matter...
^ So you just have a problem with as to why its in the religion section, when theres no mention of religion in it?
And why do you keep calling it "emotional blackmail"? Does the wife not have the right to even try and fix her own marriage? Maybe, despite his atrocious actions, she actually loved her husband and wasn't prepared to ruin her life and her son's life with a divorce. And instead of trying to convine him, she took a passive-aggressive approach to get him to realize what he was about to throw away?
Had she kept the assets that the husband was prepared to give her, people would be complaining that divorce only benefits the greedy wives........
plz try to focus on the issue I raised .....not simply my choice of words which is a matter of personal opinion u might not agree with me ]
where is the fear of God in this story ? and why is this on a "muslim" website anyways
Re: Little things that matter...
Emotional blackmail implies ignoring what that other person wants or needs, threatening to make their life difficult if they don't follow through, constantly threatening to hurt themselves physically if the other person doesnt do what they want them to do and manipulation. And this is the actual definition, not just my "opinion" on what it means.....
If this is what you think the wife was doing, then explain why you feel that...If not, then i guess choose better words next time...
Re: Little things that matter...
If you cant see why this belongs in religion, its your own loss. Its pretty straight forward.
Re: Little things that matter...
well it dosent clarify what the problems are ? it seems that the main problem was that the guy was cheating on her ....which is adultry ...nowhere is it in the story that the guy repented because of fear of God ...rather it was sympathy + emotional blackmail of his wife which made him change his mind....so from a religious point of view whats the point of this being in the religion section? regardless of how he feels about his wife his actions were wrong .... the story rather downplays the significance of the great sin of adultry and highlites the importance of the sentimental attachment b/w a husband and wife as the main reason of the makeup
Salam-o-Alaikum,
I'm afraid i would have to disagree with you there because to lose your heart to someone does not equal Adultry. Lets not assume.
Secondly, from a very religious point of view it emphasizes the need for communication between married couples.
Don't you remember the Hadith where Satan's disciples return to him at the end of the day, they all mention their evils and he's not too satisfied with anyone, until one of them says 'I put gap between a man and his wife' at which Satan calls him closer and tell him 'you have done well'
This story basically sheds light on the works of Satan and its lasting effects on what should have and would have been a healthy relationship between a man and his wife. But because that bond is re-established, suddenly the gap is no longer there and the love they once had for each other returns, thus saving a marriage. Because marriage is done for the sake of Allah, and if you can save your marriage from being broken then you have basically done Jihad within yourself and fought the evil to save a sacred bond.
What you see as emotional blackmail, i see as the woman's right because she bore him a child, and did the job of a mother, which btw is a full-time job. So because now that investment is being dumped, and for no good reason, she is atleast entitled to show her emotions. Marriage is a bond where one doesn't hide how he/she feels from the other.
I'm not advocating or lecturing. I hope you don't see it like that. I'm just giving you my perspective on it.
May Allah (SWT) guide us all to that which is best for us in this world and in the hereafter. I hope we all remember It Is The Little Things That Matter.
Re: Little things that matter…
Exactly. To call it “emotional blackmail” is ridiculous and deeply insulting not only to women but any spouse who even tries to save their marriage. :k: