YES THIS IS WEIRED... which is whi im having trouble with this situation lol to be honest i was not engaged but that was the next step soon...buy my real frustration is why couldnt they make a firm descion when my parents first asked. i feel like iv lost that year and half. my parents are also fuming this fact..i could have easly gone out every day and find a potential match. even more im confused that fact that nothin has changed with me and my fam since, so what was it that gave it away. just want to save that this was nothing to do with materialisics gains. i have no competition agains the other lad or aim to befriend them in anyway. the girl and i never spoke but we saw each other regulary, however my immediate familly had advised me that she was happy with everything and i trust their judgement which was why i decided stop partying and focus on the future. MY MAIN QUESTION was that 'should they have given us a firm decision back than, or did they have a right to say hold on'? just want to say THANK YOU very much for everones opinions, i realy do value them
Re: im a strong man! But what happened next?
Mohamma, since you werent engaged , the girl and her parents had every right to decide an appropriate family for her. I am sorry , but , they never promised you or your family anything at all.
They did say hold on, but you always knew that the answer could be yes or no ... right?
you should have clarified the situation with them and reached a conclusion , 6 months after this first happend , if not six months then at least a year later ... but you carried on waiting without their comitment ... I think you should have moved on at that point , knowing very well that the girls parents arent handing you any comitments ...
The girls parents should have voiced their concerns , towards you and your family ... did they do that? did you carry on waiting even after knowing their concerns?
Khair whats happened has happened , now move on... as someone said here, that Girl was not destined for you .... inshallah i hope you get a good partner soon ....
Re: im a strong man! But what happened next?
I don’t really see anything bad coming out of it . Only thing is disappointment , which is obvious , but isn’t it good that you stopped partying and concentrated on your future . Consider it blessing in disguise .
Yaar who cares about past . Just learn from it and move on . There are 1000 girls out there who must be better than that girl . Be happy what Allah did for you . Don’t question it too much , because you don’t know what is good for you . Good luck . :k:
Re: im a strong man! But what happened next?
Sometimes we have small catastrophes in life to avoid bigger catastrophies.
I think its highly likely that she was not the one for you and you were not the one for her. This is just Allah's way of saving us from a lot of trouble in the long run.
Blessings dont come with a big old stamp on them to identify them as such. You have to look for them.
Re: im a strong man! But what happened next?
more than anything what angers me the most is when I put myself in my parents shoes. why did'nt they not have the respect to come with a yes or no before slecting another rather than..oh yeh we forgot about u but we got somone else nowand by the way i finally broke the silence with parents and they did confirm again that things were certain at the time. ..think i'll close the chapter lol
MAY ALLAH BLESS US ALL!
I share your pain Mohammed. I've been through same issue similiar to yours. I have had a very good understanding with a girl as well and due to some circumstances we couldn't be together. And it truly hurts a lot. Whatever, i say this is temporary life and i do sabr for sake of Allah. And have sabr...insha'allah good will come.
mohammad: i know it hurts dear..it really disturbing when a relation breaks.. laiken ab apne parents ko bhi blame krne se kya milaiga siwai ke they feel guilty nd u going deeperi ni depression..
chnage ur scene..get busy do smthig intrstng..take up hobby of interest or course..surround urself with ppl who make u happy..
u have to move on nOw..the more u hang on 2 this the more hurt ur gonna feel
i really hope something good happens for u in futture ..
Re: im a strong man! But what happened next?
As you will grow older and look back, you will realize and say,"Well!! That was a lucky break!".
For most girls, marrying an only son of two old parents is not the most attractive preposition. Girls are so much more practical in these matters. She might have already thought about her life with you for the next few years while you may have only thought up to 1 month after marriage.
C'est la vie. Move on.