I was going to cut this short but no incase peeps get the wrong end of the stick. I just want the reader to justify my fairness in this silly mind of mine. I’m 24 graduated, have a job and about to start a business, but as things look good there came twist. By the way Iv got my own home in which I look after my parents, I do most of the stuff around home like cleaning mainly because I don’t have much of a social life and nothing other to do.
A year an half ago my dad asked if it was OK to as for rishta from one my relatives, I agreed and settled my heart and future commitments for it, only last week word went round that that is no longer going ahead. The reason being because a guy has come from abroad (pak) on student visa but for the purpose to marry with the girl who I wanted to marry. Anyway now I now that he will be marrying her all of a sudden, im like iv waited all this time to and all i got was..sorry mate its just fate your not going end up with her.
As far as I know the girl is very decent and modest and very beautiful and was happy with me, but her intention are also happy towards him may be because some just go with their parent decision and never show their true emotions. The girl, I and the other boy are from the same generation. My parents are old, so now iv got my hands set to start cooking for them so they don’t feel that there should have been someone else (daughter-in-law) doing some of the chores. Yes iv had girlfriends and so on..but iv put that to the past now that im looking after my parents I don’t get time to do all that and I don’t want to either, but just as I was committed to good values, was it fair that this has striked on me. WHERE DID I GO WRONG. Plz not that im thinking about my parents feelings as well my own in terms of how much I liked her, trouble is knowingly its hurting all three of us, but im so angry as to a year and half ago I was told to wait but this guy gets a sudden decision, and I felt that was wrong. I know this is fate, but I want to know was this write or wrong on me, I mean why couldn’t they toll me this a year ago? My life at the moment sucks but I still keep a proud face fir my parents sake so they don’t fell guilt in anyway. OK listen im feeling jealous and need to get rid of it! And to be honest I do feel Iv lost a pot of gold, what am I gna go through on their wedding day “ I should be sitting on that wedding stage not him” lol. However let me clear this I don’t own anyone and im not selfish but WHY WHY WHY this horrible feeling(s)!
P.S I have only one friend but im having trouble getting through to her for some reason lol
hmmmmm situation is sad and unfair with you too. But i think the gal is not that innocent. She can very easily voice her feelings if she is really interested and happy with you. Or at least protest that she doesnt want a new guy for herself all of a sudden when she has already gone emotionally attached to a person her parents had selected for her one n half yr back. Sorry if this hurts but I think its her decision to marry the other guy.
as CM said ... happens ... just believe in ALLAH and belive that everything happens for a reason ... and i kno it'll be a hard few days but after that u'll be alright :)
Its sad but things happen and maybe this is for your better. Have faith in Allah and he never disappoints so yah u wl get yr life partner one day and InshaAllah be happy for what happened.
Think good. You are a loving son and your parents duas must be with you so how can you go wrong?! You can't bro. just hang in there :=)
You seem to be a nice guy , so something better is being cooked for you up in the heavens , be patient and you will see that you will end up being better off.
Many a times we think that things are going wrong , but in the end they turn out to be in our best interest.
Mohamma , you should actually be glad that , that girl is out of your life ... shallow people with shallow values are always trouble .. whether it was her decision or her parents decision , their shallow mentality would have caused you issues later on.
Therefore , let that girl go , you seem to be a good , loving individual , not every son has that much love and time to give to their parents , you are doing that ... and trust you me , inshallah , you will find a girl much better then this one , and who will truly be the pot of gold that you seek ... Allah's bounties are immense and inshallah for your goodness to your parents , you will be blessed ... just have faith ...
^ I understand what you are saying...but I really don't think saying things like "you will find a girl much better than this one"....etc is really right................from reading the post it never really puts any blame on girl and there really isn't enough information to call people shallow
Guac , people who do not value their promises are shallow. The girls parents clearly had the girl engaged with this guy , he waited upon them ... and finally one good day for materialistic gains the parents or the girl decide to marry her off to that guy .... how much more shallow can one get?????
And one more thing, this man clearly seems to know his values well mashallah. I believe all such people deserve good individuals as spouses and I will repeat what i said before , I hope inshallah he finds a girl much better then this one.
Guac , people who do not value their promises are shallow. The girls parents clearly had the girl engaged with this guy , he waited upon them ... and finally one good day for materialistic gains the parents or the girl decide to marry her off to that guy .... how much more shallow can one get?????
And one more thing, this man clearly seems to know his values well mashallah. I believe all such people deserve good individuals as spouses and I will repeat what i said before , I hope inshallah he finds a girl much better then this one.
Ummm... from what I understood, the girls parents never made a commitment, there was no affirmative answer, they asked the OP's parents to wait.... wait for over 1.5 years for an answer? Thats totally weird.
And then some guy comes from Pakistan on student visa and they marry her off to him, thats even more weird. I'm not buying this story.... it sounds fishy.
To the poster: Did you have an actual relationship with the girl or something.... or was it all just one-sided, vague and undecided?
Have you ever spoken to this girl before? Met up with her? Got to know her?
If not.. I really suggest just letting you go and approaching your parents and letting them know that your ready to get married and want them to start looking for rishta again. Seriously if this girl did feel the same for you... she would of chosen you, and not him. Count yourself lucky i guess.
if it was not meant to be it was not meant to be, regardless of reasons whether people were shallow or whether they were not and were looking for someone else..the end result is the same.. the chica got married to someone else.
Now..the simplest thing to do is to find someone else..I believe in love and all that, however I dont think there is this one ideal person that you will find and if you cant be with that person life is over and no one compares, billions of people in the world and really at the end of the day people are not that unique.
being upset, sad, and depressed is natural, but then you have to come out of it, be yourself and meet others..and btw if you have this thing hanging over your head most girls will stay away, very few ppl want to hook up with someone who is still in love with an ex.
so step 1
sort yoursself out
step 2
enjoy life
step 3
meet people
step 4
find someone
each step will make you happier.
but it cant happen if u dont take step 1
Guac , people who do not value their promises are shallow. The girls parents clearly had the girl engaged with this guy , he waited upon them ... and finally one good day for materialistic gains the parents or the girl decide to marry her off to that guy .... how much more shallow can one get?????
And one more thing, this man clearly seems to know his values well mashallah. I believe all such people deserve good individuals as spouses and I will repeat what i said before , I hope inshallah he finds a girl much better then this one.
My bad I guess I misinterpreted the post......I didn't know that the guy was engaged to the girl........I thought it was totally one-sided, he didn't give any information about the girl returning the interest
Now..the simplest thing to do is to find someone else..I believe in love and all that, however I dont think there is this one ideal person that you will find and if you cant be with that person life is over and no one compares, billions of people in the world and really at the end of the day people are not that unique.
I wish I had a younger sister.