Re: Predicting threshold of filing for divorce in a woman
I think it will only upset her and her family. Even if this rishta doesn’t work out, everyone involved wants to remain on good terms with each other.
Yes, she was born and raised in the US. She is a patient and educated girl. The guy’s side was introduced by another common friend over Skype. Both sides liked each other. The girl’s parents totally like this guy primarily because he is from the same neighbourhood in Pakistan as they themselves grew up in and see a strong connection. So some more friendly group meetings were set up so the guy and the girl can get to know each other more. The difficult thing for the guy’s side(and for others) to interpret is casual statements by the girl on different occasions such as, “I will never leave my parents”, “I will never be the typical wife”, “honeymoon should be at least 1 month long”, “your(the guy’s) parents cannot tell me anything”, etc. Others present tried to discuss this more to get a better understanding and it got super awkward super fast. The honeymoon bit came up after the guy mentioned that he doesn’t want to spend too much on his wedding as he’ll be paying for everything himself. Both have never married before. Also, her mom interrupted her a few times when she starts going into detail about these things. So it’s a lot of guess work at this stage as to what actually is on through this girl’s mind.
I wonder if whatever she said was mere childish talk on her part or she really meant it. If she really meant it then one will have to think how flexible she’ll be about that and other unforeseeable things. Having difference of opinion is one thing but seeking divorce instead of resolving issues and compromising here and there is quite another. That is the rabbit hole this rishta is going down nowadays.
I don’t think her boundaries and desires are “childish talk” (apart from the honeymoon stuff). She has the right to want to have a connection with parents and not be controlled by in laws. This is just a wake up call for that dude that he should find someone else. Clearly he has an issue with her statements, and she should not be coerced into becoming the “”“”“ideal wife”“”" that the guy wants for the sake of a rishta. In fact, like someone else posted, that might be a hint that she doesn’t want to get married.