Re: Predicting threshold of filing for divorce in a woman
Before anyone even talks about the girl, the guy needs to decide what his values are and what kind of wife he wants. Does he want a stay-at-home wife? Is he ok with his kids being raised by nanny/daycare? Is he ok with living in the city the girl lives in currently for the next 20-30 years OR does he want to leave the option of moving open? How close is he to his parents? Is there a chance his parents might move in with him in the future when they’re old/sick? Does the guy like to live simple/low-key OR is he into nice/luxury items? Is he the type of guy who likes to show a girl that he loves her by taking care of her in a traditional manner OR does he have a romantic streak in him (loves to give flowers, write romantic cards, surprise her with other small gifts etc.)? Does the guy cook or do any housework or does he believe that the wife should do it all b/c he works? How soon after marriage does he want to start having children? What are his thoughts on finances after marriage (does he want everything joint or does he still want to maintain separate accounts? Would he be ok if in the future his wife’s parents needed to move in with him and his wife due to age/health? He’s new to the U.S…so is he ok with his wife socializing with male friends or male co-workers? Is he ok with his wife wearing items like skinny jeans/sleeveless tops etc? Does he care whether she wears hijab or prays 5x/daily? Eating halal?
Once the guy has made up his mind on these types of things, he needs to find a girl whose answer matches his.
As for this girl, we are all making assumptions b/c her comments are vague. He needs to find out what is her definition of “typical wife” and how exactly does she envision her life as a wife and mother. What is her definition of "honeymoon? Is she expecting to be like at a exotic location on vacation for a month? What does she means by not “leaving” her parents? Is she unwilling to move to another city? What about moving 2 hours away? Or does she expect to always live close enough to visit every other day?
I’m very against having parents/elders sit there at the same table while the girl/guy talks. The mother here clearly won’t let the girl talk and share her true feelings. Even if it’s b/c the girl is immature due to age, that itself is an indication that she’s not already for marriage right now. In my opinion, the girl and guy need to meet at a public location for lunch…just the two of them and talk openly about the things I mentioned in the first paragraph. The devil is always in the details.