Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Really right now you have lots of thing in your mooh,you can call and make your marriage work, but once admins and mods will close this thread then Kia rahe ga mooh main!then you won't be able to listen our advice ( wese Bhi ab konsa sun RAHI ho )
just call me once For the sake of Pity.admit your mistakes say sorry and tell him to come and take you,and after you go to your husband home plz change your number and don't contact with your parents, because this is what you done with him.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
SAMEENA please answer some of these questions so we could advise you accordingly.
It seems like your looking for excuses to avoid your hubby. You need to squish the ego down and try with him. If it doesn't work then at least you tried.
And for future perhaps you should try and become a bit more independent, so you wouldn't need to rely on parents in future. Find a job perhaps, things to increase confidence! š
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuseāplease please help!!!
:hinna:
Oh goodnessā¦where can one begin?
Why are you here? Are you trying to humiliate your husband further? As if what youāve already done is not enough. Tumhay aakhir us bicharay banday se kya chahiye hai? Kyun ayi ho yahan? Jo kiya hai vo kafi nahin hai?
What kind of family values do you have? Lying and accusing people and calling that honorable?
You should never have gotten marriedā¦he should never have fallen for you and this mess would would never have happened.
Is it only me that believes the husband is better off without her?
I donāt think this girlās behavior will stop because she consistently comes on here to talk about her false baybasi and majboori but does not do a SINGLE thing to actually rectify the damage sheās done. Meaning? Sheās not seriousā¦sheās simply venting to get rid of her guilt for the time being. Sheās also trying to tell her husband, who according to her, is a GS member that she feels bad. Again, trying to unload her guilt. Why? Because she and her family are committing a GUNAH and they know it. I would die of shame if my parents did what OPās did.
REAL parents will always tell their daughters to resolve their issues with their husbands. No matter what the issue is. When I went through my divorce, even though I was right and he was wrongā¦my parents did not support me until I actually proved my case to them and I had gone through counseling as well as the masjid services to resolve the matter.
If the girl was really serious and apologeticā¦she would have contacted him by now and tried to get back together with him. But sheās not. She is simply using GS as a venting board. She doesnāt want her marriage to workā¦she is simply trying to clear up her image in his eyes so she doesnāt feel as guilty about her and her parentsā behavior. So she can sleep better at night. Thatās all.
Thereās no help to be given here peopleā¦letās move on.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
you know chalo maan liya you cannot him via phone , sharminda ho , parents watch kar rahay hain etc etc.
send him an email , apologize to him regardless of the fact you want to reconcile with him or not. You have accused him of something he hasn't done and you will be answerable for it . You will be able to write down your feelings better in an email.
but yes then you will think kay that email can be used against you in court or your husband doesn't have an email id.
plz don't say that your parents are watching your internet activities also since you are coming here are asking for advice.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuseāplease please help!!!
since you are so sure he is here in GS canāt you even send him a PM? If your parents know of your previous emails whatās stopping you from making a new one?
It seems to me you are just coming up with one lame excuse after another. In this day and age its just not possible that you are not able to contact a person, and that too your husband. I believe you are hiding a lot of things that you or your parents did to your husband. Either find a way to contact him and tell him how sorry you are and mend your ways or if you are incapabe of doing this you donāt deserved to be married.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
I actually feel sick reading this.
Did you know the big shaitan gets up and hugs the smaller shaitans that break up a home. I'd hate to compare your dad to a smaller ...... But such a person does NOT deserve your honour, obedience. You following his commands is parallel to following shaitans commands.
If you cannot stomach how to face your husband NOW then how do you intend on facing your Lord on the day of judgement? Do you that'd be any easier???
I dont even know why you need advice. You know why you're here.. to make the poor guy feel more bad. To defame him. To convey what you and your parents think of him. To make fun of him.
And you should be ashamed of yourself. Doob marna chaiyay ja k kaheen. Ho doesn't deserve filthy and sick people like you and your family in his life. No one does. I hope he divorces you asap and saves himself from a long miserable life.
I feel so sorry for the guy and I'm praying he finds someone better who values him. inshaAllah.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
. .
. Doob marna chaiyay ja k kaheen.
No, Hadeel. :(
I don't have any issue with you saying that she should be ashamed of herself.
I also don't care how common this "doob mar jaanay" waali saying is in our culture, but I don't think it should be said. What she did is wrong; there's no doubt about that. But suicide is haraam for even the worst of sinners.
I have talked to the OP via PM. And I have come to know of additional details which explain why she feels so deeply ashamed to face her husband. I am not going to reveal them out of respect for privacy. But considering what I know.....she feels pretty ****ty already. I will admit that I feel disturbed by the story just as everyone else here does. But you never know whether or not someone, in their vulnerable state, will act upon comments like "go kill yourself." Again, I know that it's a common saying.....but I don't even think one should say it to their own kids.
And like I said earlier, we are acting as though we were the ones she falsely accused of violence. The one who is the most hurt is her husband and it's rather big- hearted of him to consider forgiving her and still wanting to give the marriage a shot. To say that one should be ashamed or to question/mock their sanity and is one thing and I get that....I really do understand that. But to express disapproval to the extent of saying that one doesn't deserve to live.....is taking it too far.
Rv.. doob k marr jana does not mean go kill yourself. It refers to you should be ashamed of yourself. All used in urdu language. Not really that big a deal tbh.
But I'll admit.. ive never been this angry over a freaking thread in a long time. Maybe I could've been a lil less harsh with miss main kia karon here.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
No, Hadeel. :(
I don't have any issue with you saying that she should be ashamed of herself.
I also don't care how common this "doob mar jaanay" waali saying is in our culture, but I don't think it should be said. What she did is wrong; there's no doubt about that. But suicide is haraam for even the worst of sinners.
I have talked to the OP via PM. And I have come to know of additional details which explain why she feels so deeply ashamed to face her husband. I am not going to reveal them out of respect for privacy. But considering what I know.....she feels pretty ****ty already. I will admit that I feel disturbed by the story just as everyone else here does. But you never know whether or not someone, in their vulnerable state, will act upon comments like "go kill yourself." Again, I know that it's a common saying.....but I don't even think one should say it to their own kids.
And like I said earlier, we are acting as though we were the ones she falsely accused of violence. The one who is the most hurt is her husband and it's rather big- hearted of him to consider forgiving her and still wanting to give the marriage a shot. To say that one should be ashamed or to question/mock their sanity and is one thing and I get that....I really do understand that. But to express disapproval to the extent of saying that one doesn't deserve to live.....is taking it too far.
With due respect RV, she feels so ashamed that she can't face her husband, yet that shame doesn't extend to telling her dad to shut up about allegations or humiliating her husband on the forum? Why tell others her husband is on the forum at all?
Noone really empathises with someone who is feeling shame yet displays ten times more shameful behavior.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Maybe its me BUT there's a huge difference between feeling guilty and being so ashamed that you do anything in your power to fix what you've done. Or at least try to.
In this situation, I feel that the OP knows she will be bashed for doing what she did and is looking for that sympathetic ear that will indulge and tell her "there there...its okay now".
It doesn't work that way. Real human lives are not to be played and toyed with the way the OP thinks they can be. Using a second marriage as an excuse to not rectify or apologize for the pain she caused speaks volumes about how the poster views the sanctity of marriage to begin with. Its not a big deal to her...kisi ki beizzati karna, kisi ko dukh dena, takleef ponhchana, zindagi bhar ka pachtawa dena, be-bunyaad ilzamaat lagana, kisi ka dil is tarha se torna, etc. In her mind..."to kya huwa? vo doosri shaadi kar lega aur sab theek hojayega".
And yeah, most of us are acting as if we were accused. That's how a lot of us end up responding to threads...we try to put ourselves in another's shoes and see what we'd do from that perspective. Right now, I believe anyone reading this thread would be pretty offended, upset and hurt for the husband. Not only is he dealing with her but he also spared her the humiliation of confronting her publicly on this forum when he easily could have and he'd be justified in doing so.
I really hope and pray her husband does not have to suffer anymore than he already has.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Maybe its me BUT there's a huge difference between feeling guilty and being so ashamed that you do anything in your power to fix what you've done. Or at least try to.
In this situation, I feel that the OP knows she will be bashed for doing what she did and is looking for that sympathetic ear that will indulge and tell her "there there...its okay now".
It doesn't work that way. Real human lives are not to be played and toyed with the way the OP thinks they can be. Using a second marriage as an excuse to not rectify or apologize for the pain she caused speaks volumes about how the poster views the sanctity of marriage to begin with. Its not a big deal to her...kisi ki beizzati karna, kisi ko dukh dena, takleef ponhchana, zindagi bhar ka pachtawa dena, be-bunyaad ilzamaat lagana, kisi ka dil is tarha se torna, etc. In her mind..."to kya huwa? vo doosri shaadi kar lega aur sab theek hojayega".
And yeah, most of us are acting as if we were accused. That's how a lot of us end up responding to threads...we try to put ourselves in another's shoes and see what we'd do from that perspective. Right now, I believe anyone reading this thread would be pretty offended, upset and hurt for the husband. Not only is he dealing with her but he also spared her the humiliation of confronting her publicly on this forum when he easily could have and he'd be justified in doing so.
I really hope and pray her husband does not have to suffer anymore than he already has.
She has already said 'he can marry someone else as he is young'. She has mistaken marriage for a BF GF fling.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
I think its tremendously wrong for us to say anything to the girl in this situation. She'll feel the blunt of this if she gets a divorce. What are the actual events that led to the separation? I didn't read the entire thread but I believe that the girl decided to come to her parents house because the guy wasn't making enough money? Something transpired that led to the separation. Someone fill me in on this.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
seriously SameenaQ, you need to stand up for yourself. if you want this relationship to still have a chance, YOU have to GET UP and do something. this relationship will **NOT **be handed to you all fixed and pretty just by wishful thinking. regardless of your dad and what he wants.
as mentioned before, you had the guts to leave, lie, have your father lie, and let it come this far. I am pretty sure you can gather the same guts to pick up the phone/meet, your husband and sort it out with the truth.
if you can't do that. then it's better to stop crying and move on without him, which seems like something you are already planning to do
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
OP. You have done wrong to him..this all can damage his future...if you want to do anything good please go to police/court and tell them the truth.IF YOU ARE TRULY ASHAMED THEN PLZ do him this favor...insaniyat ke natay hi sahi per plz usko is tarah mat damage karo...you never know this might haunt back to you in future and then u wont be able to do anyting but right now you can.
also if you go back to him or marry someone else please use your own mind that whats wrong or whats right dont listen to your parents blindly, or better yet stay with your parents dont bother to leave their house they might do this again n future.and its really sad leaving husband only because he was going throu some sort of financial crisis,husbands are ATM machines or unlimited credit cards.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
your parents are jaahil, and ruining your life because to ego and whim. You know the right thing to do. If a parent can disown a child, and another man is just...then he is better than parents. What kind of parents disown their own children.
my prayers are with you. Act with courage. you already know the just thing to do.
since you are so sure he is here in GS canāt you even send him a PM? If your parents know of your previous emails whatās stopping you from making a new one?