Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
I agree. I think the OP is just messing with us all.
I hope so. For all of us. Especially's OP's "husband"
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
I'll try not to make this a long response, I think a lot of what needs to be said has been said. But here's something that you should think about OP, if the roles were reversed.. what would you expect from your husband after all the trust and respect is gone and he would have betrayed and humiliated you to the utmost level? Would you think him wise to come on a forum, announcing private details and humiliating you further? Knowing that perhaps some members on here might even know you or him? You made mistakes, find me one person who hasn't, but what ultimately defines you is how you deal with them. Whether you try to rectify the situation or exacerbate it. Nobody likes to hear their parents badmouthed, but you know that your father is wrong in this case, and that is allowed. Parents are not exempt from misleading their children. They are not all-knowing, all-wise angels. You are a grown woman, you have every right to tell your dad to stay out of your business. Just as you would expect a man to "have a spine" or "look after his wife", why didn't you do the same? Why did you become so spineless and forget the commitment you made to your husband? Because it became a husband vs father thing? Why did you let it get to that extent? People have conflict between their spouses and parents all the time, they deal with it by letting each side know that there is no comparing to be done. There is no side taking nor competition. They each have their place and that is the end of it.
I think it's fair to say that this situation may be something that you can't come back from, depending on how you deal with it here on out. You seem to want him back and apologise, yet are doing nothing about it. Similarly, you want him to be happy and move on. You're conflicted. Chill out, think rationally about what your aim is but at the same time, stop dragging your husband's name through the mud. Put an end to the charges, apologise sincerely, take some time to refocus and then deal with it in a better frame of mind. Otherwise all you will do is come on here, back and forth, and nothing actually gets done.
First thing though: tell your dad to butt out in a very firm way, and stop accusing your husband/leave him alone for now. I think that is the most serious of problems at the moment. You are able to work, move out of your parents place, less controlling that way too, and your dad will get over it eventually.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
I will shak i will. but my husband won't forgive me. i know he is here reading all this. please forgive me. what if i contact my husband and even my husband forgives me. my parents' honor will be on stake. yes my husband's honor is at stake too. but he is young. and if he were to divorce me and marry someone else. he can still live his life.
i 4give the u.
im 2 ushamd to post vith my usual login so my franship queer post this.
ur daddy baray voh hai.. vat the honor? vat steak?
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
i 4give the u.
im 2 ushamd to post vith my usual login so my franship queer post this.
ur daddy baray voh hai.. vat the honor? vat steak?
koeer estop it. these are the cerious diskation
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
I wonder how many time same story repeats.
One of my dude was, in love with his wife like majnoo.
When she brought him over, he had to start over life with small jobs.
Wife did same moves, called police... filed harassment... Even cops told my friend "she is a b#$#, move on"
She even have abortion, all on her mother and sister's advice. Both women promised my friend's wife that "every one is dying to marry her... because she is very pretty"
Long story short... a decade later.. dude is married to an other girl with children.
Beauty queen is still single ... with couple of broken rishtas... sad and lonely(feel sorry for her as well)
But ... its surprising how many time same story repeats.....
I think *sheetaan *, need to fire his plan writer. But then .. it still works. so why would he..
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
even monk has posted a sensible post on this thread.
ab kya hoga?
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
:D
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
No, Hadeel. :(
I don't have any issue with you saying that she should be ashamed of herself.
I also don't care how common this "doob mar jaanay" waali saying is in our culture, but I don't think it should be said. What she did is wrong; there's no doubt about that. But suicide is haraam for even the worst of sinners.
I have talked to the OP via PM. And I have come to know of additional details which explain why she feels so deeply ashamed to face her husband. I am not going to reveal them out of respect for privacy. But considering what I know.....she feels pretty ****ty already. I will admit that I feel disturbed by the story just as everyone else here does. But you never know whether or not someone, in their vulnerable state, will act upon comments like "go kill yourself." Again, I know that it's a common saying.....but I don't even think one should say it to their own kids.
And like I said earlier, we are acting as though we were the ones she falsely accused of violence. The one who is the most hurt is her husband and it's rather big- hearted of him to consider forgiving her and still wanting to give the marriage a shot. To say that one should be ashamed or to question/mock their sanity and is one thing and I get that....I really do understand that. But to express disapproval to the extent of saying that one doesn't deserve to live.....is taking it too far.
Ummmm, no. You don't get to speak to PM people and then lord it over our heads that you know so much more about all fo this than we all do. We're all advising her only on what she's telling us.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Ummmm, no. You don't get to speak to PM people and then lord it over our heads that you know so much more about all fo this than we all do. We're all advising her only on what she's telling us.
Don't accuse me of "lording"...I am not lording anything; I have no such intentions.
I have not approved or condoned anything that OP has done. And no I don't think it's right to say "doob k mar jana chahiye".... Abd just like OP can't justify her actions....those words can't be justified either; there's no sawab in telling someone to off themselves.
We are all trying to place ourselves in the husband's shoes and we sympathize with him. There is nothing wrong with that. But just as we can tell OP that there us a limit to her bayhayai and her bewaqoofi......so it can also be sais that there's a limit to condemnation as well. Condemning doesn't mean we have a "khulli choot" in saying whatever we want.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
What a troll. Has time to write novels on GS but can't make a new email ID and send an email to her husband. Come on!
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Who is Sheetan? Why new character introduced at this late stage.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
A cousin of mine was falsely accused by his wife of domestic abuse (in the UK).
Her parents never approved of my cousin and were always against the marriage, therefore they played a huge part in this.
It was a disgusting, disgusting mess. She ruined his life and character , financially finished him. he went to HM prison for six months, because things turned ugly, she came out smelling all squeaky clean.
If you are trolling then, you are a sick individual who has nothing better to do.
But if this is for real, IA there will be a place for spineless women like you, and their parents a small place in Hell on this Earth and in the Aakirah. You cannot FALSELY ACCUSE someone, and expect nothing to happen to you in return.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Hey All, My name is Sameena and i am 30 years old. I am from US. I have been married once before when i was 29. My first husband has been physically abusive to me. I divorced him and moved on. Met other guy, he is my current husband. I married to him in July of this year. Relationship between me and my husband has been smooth. No major fights or argument. Except my husband was having financial problems. One day i decided to leave him and came back to my parents. Because my mom asked me to come to house for few weeks to clear my mind. When i came back to my parents i brought all my belongings with me from that house. I didn't contact him for three days after that. Nor he has contacted me. When i finally called him following four days after, he seemed very very annoyed. And told me we should just separate because i was being very immature in this relationship. We talk three days after that, because he texted me. I called him, we both had very calm discussion on the phone. He was very sad and crying on the phone. And said sorry to me so many times. Long story short: i sent Khula'aa notice to him and i have accused him of mental and physical torture. Because that is what my father told to write on that piece of paper. This is going on since we have been separated beginning of November of this year. My father called him and threatened and asked him to divorce me because he was angry that my husband has called out for separation--not divorce. My father is very protective and told me it is better to be single than being marry to such a man. He has now agreed to divorce me and his condition is that i need to take out mental and physical torture. He didn't want to divorce me. But my father is forcing me to divorce him. I have no way to talk to my husband. My father asked me not to contact him again. Cherry on top i texted him not to contact me. It has been 2 months, we are going back and forth through masjid. I am scared of my father. I do not want divorce, i will be committing major major sin by accusing him for such crime. He won't ever take me back. I hate myself every living day. Now i regret my decision. What do i do? please help. I hope my husband is reading this i just want to tell him i love him and please do not divorce me. He is completely innocent of all the charges i laid on him. He is very sweet guy. Allah meein kyya karuun. Meein onkee samnnai nazzar nahin mila sktee. My husband offered me to come talk to him in presence of scholar. I refused. Because my father told me he will disown me if i decide to go back to my husband.
if you were living in some remote village in pakistan I would have understood you cannot contact your husband but in the US , No way ! so you're saying you cannot leave the house at all , not even to go to the Dr, Supermarket , to see friends etc at the age of 30 ? You're dad can't be watching over you 24/7 . think of ways. If you really want to contact him , you WILL find a way. Such as a new email address if you're father has the passwords to your other ones.
If if you really don't want him to divorce you , do something about it otherwise you will have nothing but regret. Also, do not take falsely accusing your husband of abuse so lightly. Think of the consequences.... Your lie will affect his reputation and may well lead to a criminal charge . not to mention the gunnah.
You still have time . Contact him asap and make things right.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Do not think for second that there will be no consequences. SAME scenario as you described Sameena. My wife's ex-friend and her family falsely accused her husband of abuse etc. Happened here in Canada. Guy has happily re-married. Ex-friend's father and mother died in bad accident. Now she is left by herself suffering from mental disease. No one meets and sees her. She has no one. She now cries and begs mercy from her ex-husband but she can't.
So get up and call him. He is your husband not your boyfriend that you can ignore. He is your husband in sight of Allah so do not take this lightly. You and your father are oppressing him.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
The sad thing is that if it were reversed, a man and his family falsely accused a woman of such a horrible thing, not a single person here would be sympathetic towards that family, like we're seeing here.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Do not think for second that there will be no consequences. SAME scenario as you described Sameena. My wife's ex-friend and her family falsely accused her husband of abuse etc. Happened here in Canada. Guy has happily re-married. Ex-friend's father and mother died in bad accident. Now she is left by herself suffering from mental disease. No one meets and sees her. She has no one. She now cries and begs mercy from her ex-husband but she can't.
So get up and call him. He is your husband not your boyfriend that you can ignore. He is your husband in sight of Allah so do not take this lightly. You and your father are oppressing him.
Her parents died in the accident because that's when they were destined to die. I don't think we can confidently assume or say that the death of her parents was a saza for her. Perhaps her suffering from depression and a mental issues and not having and being lonely are punishment...but I don't know if we can say that about losing her parents. It's a scary thought for one to believe their misdeeds killed their parents.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
*A cousin of mine was falsely accused by his wife of domestic abuse (in the UK). * Her parents never approved of my cousin and were always against the marriage, therefore they played a huge part in this.
It was a disgusting, disgusting mess. She ruined his life and character , financially finished him. he went to HM prison for six months, because things turned ugly, she came out smelling all squeaky clean.
If you are trolling then, you are a sick individual who has nothing better to do.
But if this is for real, IA there will be a place for spineless women like you, and their parents a small place in Hell on this Earth and in the Aakirah. You cannot FALSELY ACCUSE someone, and expect nothing to happen to you in return.
Can they jail someone in the UK like that without physical evidence?
It's not uncommon for people to accuse others of assault but I thought cases were often dropped due to lack of evidence..
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
Can they jail someone in the UK like that without physical evidence?
It's not uncommon for people to accuse others of assault but I thought cases were often dropped due to lack of evidence..
Can't speak of UK, but it happens more often than we think it would here in US. In the last year several people on death row were exonerated based on new evidence. In some cases, they were done so posthumously. When it comes to crimes against women, the whole judicial system is stacked against the guys. You don't need a lot to convict a guy.
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
^Oh I've heard of the death row stuff.. that's crazy..
I'd assumed there would need to be evidence of injuries (eg photos of bruises or scars or the attack to be caught on CCTV or something) to be convicted and jailed in the UK.. maybe I'm wrong.. Seems mad to send someone to prison just on the strength of another person's word..
Re: I wrongfully accused my husband of abuse---please please help!!!
^ No physical evidence of any abuse is required, no CCTV of any abuse is required either. Mostly its one person's word vs another. A woman can go ahead and accuse Tom of xyz crime and the poor guy can be done for it if the jury somehow believe the woman over him. Case in point would be historical abuse cases like Jimmy Saville or Rolf Harris. Not that they didn't do it ofcourse but twenty years down the line any woman can accuse a man for £££££ compensation and if she is more believable than the guy or if he trips up somehow he can say goodbye to his life.