Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
you and me both lady_lama.
you know what's interesting about this thread...people are actually giving reasons/defending and providing excuses for watching porn.
From a religious perspective, its haram...for men and women. just like alcohol's haram..for both men and women..you dont given excuses for drinking do you..oh he's addicted, he cant help it, everyone around him drinks, he cant help it.
Boys, if you were allowed to watch porn (to fulfill your fantasies in a respectful way as implied by one of the posters in this thread), God would've said so. I'm speaking from an islamic point of view. lol but i believe all other religions prohibit it too..religion is usually to keep humans in check.
i can understand if you give in to temptation once in awhile and watched it out of curiosily lol but if its a regular thing that you enjoy, well its a major sin.. Good luck to all the muslims who think its allowed. God's very forgiving indeed.
This is typical of a man's inabilityt to understand the complex mind of a woman. I personally think she should get her own back by stopping all the cooking and cleaning and instead, start doing her hair and nails all day because that is such a "woman's thing" to do.
That's exactly what's wrong with teenage girls these days. In their minds they are complex creatures and men are just apes that they have to tolerate. Stardust09 you need to listen when someone is trying to educate you. If her husband is watching porn, has he stopped performing the duties of a husband or a father? If you want to do your nails and hair and whatnot, why do you have to stop the other stuff (cooking, cleaning etc) to do it. It's your right to do whatever 'woman's thing' that you need to as long as you are not comprimising your role as a mother and a wife.
I'll make it simple for you 'cause you can't comprehend complex issues and just brush them aside as being stupid.
1) Your friend should NOT have shared this information with you.
2) Watching porn is not OK. However, we are are humans and are not completely sinless.
3) If your friend's husband has commited a sin, as a wife, she should hide it from the world and try to resolve it directly with the husband.
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
wow, this topic has been blown out of proportion.
That's exactly what's wrong with teenage girls these days. In their minds they are complex creatures and men are just apes that they have to tolerate. Stardust09 you need to listen when someone is trying to educate you. If her husband is watching porn, has he stopped performing the duties of a husband or a father? If you want to do your nails and hair and whatnot, why do you have to stop the other stuff (cooking, cleaning etc) to do it. It's your right to do whatever 'woman's thing' that you need to as long as you are not comprimising your role as a mother and a wife.
I'll make it simple for you 'cause you can't comprehend complex issues and just brush them aside as being stupid.
1) Your friend should NOT have shared this information with you. 2) Watching porn is not OK. However, we are are humans and are not completely sinless. 3) If your friend's husband has commited a sin, as a wife, she should hide it from the world and try to resolve it directly with the husband.
You don't know me Stork so refrain from making personal comments about my ability to comprehend complex issues. If I didn't understand complex issues then why would my friend tell me this extremely personal event?
When a person is upset they will share their problems with those they love and look towards in friendship. That is what real friends are which I doubt you understand. I didn't have a reply to give to her which is why I came looking here for advice but have been disappointed as to how normal people regard it.
A married man watching porn is akin to virtual adultery for a woman! for a man to even look at another woman naked (a porn star or not!) is just completely abhorrent in my mind. I thought this sentiment would be shared but men just try and get away with it by saying "I've been wired this way". What BS!
And fyi, i am NOT a teenager.
wow, this topic has been blown out of proportion.
tell me about it.
You don't know me Stork so refrain from making personal comments about my ability to comprehend complex issues.
& Then
That is what real friends are which I doubt you understand.
And fyi, i am NOT a teenager.
High horse alright.
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
how so?
That's** exactly what's wrong with teenage girls these days*. In their minds they are complex creatures and men are just apes that they have to tolerate. **Stardust09 you need to listen when someone is trying to educate you*. If her husband is watching porn, has he stopped performing the duties of a husband or a father? If you want to do your nails and hair and whatnot, why do you have to stop the other stuff (cooking, cleaning etc) to do it. It's your right to do whatever 'woman's thing' that you need to as long as you are not comprimising your role as a mother and a wife.
I'll make it simple for you 'cause you can't comprehend complex issues and just brush them aside as being stupid.
1) Your friend should NOT have shared this information with you. 2) Watching porn is not OK. However, we are are humans and are not completely sinless. 3) If your friend's husband has commited a sin, as a wife, she should hide it from the world and try to resolve it directly with the husband.
what about your own high horse huh?
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
I know plently of pakistani muslims, who are indeed addicted to drinking alchohol and have also been a addict to drugs. Have done numerous things with women. But just because were muslim doesnt stop us from being Human. No one is defending porn, But theres no issue in porn either. If you watch it once in a blue moon, then who cares?
As long as your not watching vile things like child porn (then thats a police issue) However Adult porn is not a issue. Again back to the main topic, Stardust your friend obviously is upset and confided in you (I dont know WHY people are saying she shudnt of told her) Thats what friends are for and i for one have discussed things with my friends have got advice. Its natural that she was shocked because obviously her husband has been hiding it (Who knows?) Thats why she feels hurt.
That doesnt mean that her husband doesnt love her, and doesnt mean that theres ANY issue in the marriage. Also doesnt mean hes not a good father or will harm children. Like i said i've known people who have been drinking and have always provided for the whole family. You need to explain to your friend that she shud just talk to her husband (maybe they havnt been sleeping together in a while) I dont know but maybe if he jus explains to her that its a one off n he takes pleasure in it, which again is jus 'fantasy' and doesnt compare it to his wife.
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
Stardust, I hate to say it but I think you are annoyed that you aren't getting the answers you want here; people that will agree with how your friend feels and so she can justify her anger.
I 100% agree that as far as Islam goes, watching porn is wrong. We avoid alcohol and so much more, we should be able to avoid this too. It is about self control at the end of the day.
But let's concentrate on your friend and her feelings. She feels cheap and she really shouldn't because as I said before it's been "normalised" in society. I can't be bothered to extend on this. If you can understand this then you will understand the implications in regards to him watching it and that she shouldn't feel the way she does and bad about herself or their relationship.
Yes, they need to sort it out but in their own way and with their own issues. They both need to be honest with each other and talk about it.
I agree with Stork that as a hypothetical topic to debate, it's fine on here. But otherwise, it's their business and for them to sort out.
I know plently of pakistani muslims, who are indeed addicted to drinking alchohol and have also been a addict to drugs. Have done numerous things with women. But just because were muslim doesnt stop us from being Human. No one is defending porn, But theres no issue in porn either. If you watch it once in a blue moon, then who cares?
As long as your not watching vile things like child porn (then thats a police issue) However Adult porn is not a issue. Again back to the main topic, Stardust your friend obviously is upset and confided in you (I dont know WHY people are saying she shudnt of told her) Thats what friends are for and i for one have discussed things with my friends have got advice. Its natural that she was shocked because obviously her husband has been hiding it (Who knows?) Thats why she feels hurt.
That doesnt mean that her husband doesnt love her, and doesnt mean that theres ANY issue in the marriage. Also doesnt mean hes not a good father or will harm children. Like i said i've known people who have been drinking and have always provided for the whole family. You need to explain to your friend that she shud just talk to her husband (maybe they havnt been sleeping together in a while) I dont know but maybe if he jus explains to her that its a one off n he takes pleasure in it, which again is jus 'fantasy' and doesnt compare it to his wife.
Thank you MixedBeauty - I believe i said the same thing but ended up ruffling some feathers. I agree with everything except for "I dont know WHY people are saying she shudnt of told her) Thats what friends are for and i for one have discussed things with my friends have got advice. Its natural that she was shocked because obviously her husband has been hiding it (Who knows?) Thats why she feels hurt"
If the husband hid it from the wife, he didn't want her to find out. Doesn't take a genius to comprehend that he would be really pissed if he found out that his wife has shared this info. with her friend.
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
I feel like I am the one in the wrong for bringing up this topic!
As well as my friend who seems to be the bad person for discussing this with me. She felt all alone and needed advice! There is nothing wrong in that. If husbands didn't behave like such khotas, us women wouldn't need to go sharing their husband's indiscretions with their friends!
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
Tbh stork your right. I wudnt go and embarrass my husband if he watched porn by telling my friend. If he hid it frm me. He wud expect me not to tell anyone. So she is wrong for telling you, she shud of jus had it out with him. Simple.
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
I dont understand MixedBeauty, you just said it wasn't wrong for her to discuss this with me.
Why change your mind now?
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
Khotas?? Well sure sounds better than an Ass. Look I am not comparing the two; a husband secretly watching porn and a wife sharing personal details with her friends are both WRONG! I dare to say that the instinct that drives a woman to 'share' is just as wrong as the instinct that drives a man to 'watch'. I hope i didn't open a can of worms here but it's all a matter of degree. No human is an angel and to expect perfection is unreasonable.
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
Because i was thinking if i was in that situation. For example say if i was married and my husband caught me watching porn, Then he goes n tells his friend. How wud i feel abt that? That my husband cant keep his mouth shut, And how awkward wud his friend feel around me knowing that abt me?
Now tell me stardust, How do YOU feel about HER husband? You really dont like him do you?
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
^ and your gonna feel awkward whenever you go to her place right?
Re: Husband watching something inappropriate online?
I feel awkward but that doesn't mean I would treat him any differently or hate him! No way!
Besides, the only way he would find out is if his wife will tell him otherwise he will actually never know. Knowing my friend, she will never tell him that she told me and Iam not exactly gonna ask him "So did you enjoy your porno?"